


Those Who Teach

by SakuraBlossomStorm



Series: Those Who Teach [1]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Older Ben AU, Romance, Sex Dream, Smut, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, professor/student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 45,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraBlossomStorm/pseuds/SakuraBlossomStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Professors can't date Students or Graduates of Indiana State, those were the rules. But yet when a feisty Blonde speaks up in Professor Ben Wyatt's Debate class, he's willing to risk everything for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pawnee/Eagleton Debate

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AU fic, so I hope you all enjoy this universe!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated, I will also be happily accepting prompts for this universe so please feel free to prompt me here or on my tumblr (sakurablossomstorm-blog).

It was only meant to be a temp job.

Ben told himself that every morning as he got ready for work, at the age of 32 he found himself a respected Professor at Indiana State’s Pawnee Campus. He still had no idea how he got here, despite being qualified and well able to do the job.

He pulled on a green plaid shirt and slacks and stood in front of the mirror, did he even look like a College Professor? 

Every morning was the same, the doubt, the confusion, yet somehow on the journey to work he managed to pull himself together and teach, then every evening he would leave with the same nagging feeling that he shouldn’t be here and he should be chasing his dreams. 

But every morning he got dressed and carried on his teaching façade, just like he did when he arrived in Indianapolis at the age of 21. He studied to be a teacher, it was a kind of pick a job out of a hat moment, he graduated, studied some more and tried so hard to get some money together to survive. He started out temping anywhere he could, elementary schools where the kids were more interested in picking their noses than learning, middle schools where the kids were more interested in throwing screwed up paper balls at his face while he tried to teach and high school students who were more interested in the opposite sex’s private parts.

Then this opportunity came up, maternity cover at the Pawnee campus at Indiana State as a History Lecturer, he accepted it, he hadn’t had much faith in teaching, kids just didn’t want to learn anymore, they had no goals or drive. He was never like that when he was growing up, that’s how he got into that mess that made him leave his home town, he dreamt too big too soon.

Turns out College Kids were more eager than any other class he had ever taught, they paid to be there and they wanted to learn. Maybe this was going to be the best out of a bad situation, it was only temp cover so he didn’t really bother learning anyone’s names, it was pointless, in a few months time he’d be off at some other school teaching art or music, something which he wasn’t good at. He had no friends here, it got a little lonely sometimes, but it’s how he lived the majority of his life.

Yet the six months passed and one day the History department had a turn over, the Head of Department had a terrible heart attack and a replacement had to be found quickly, the college recruited a professor from Bloomington to fill the position, which he happily accepted, Ben hadn’t heard much about him, other than the fact that he was eager to switch the department up.

He organised one on one meetings with all the Professors to get to know them all, Ben was sceptical, usually all the Professors he encountered were stuffy and secluded. Still he went to the meeting and walked in to see a fairly young looking man, he looked far too fit and healthy to be a teacher here.

“Hello there” The man bubbled excited, “Welcome, welcome. My name is Chris Traeger, I’m the new Head of History here at Indiana State and I’m so thrilled to meet you I could literally burst”.

He basically pushed Ben down into a seat opposite him and leant very close in, Ben was nervous he might be leaning in for a kiss. “Now, I understand that you are our temp, correct?”

Ben nodded as he craned his neck back slightly to get some personal space, “Yeah, Um my name is Ben Wyatt”.

“Ben…Wyatt” Chris said slowly, “Now where have I heard that name before?”

Ben’s heart started to hammer, ‘Crap’ he thought. 

Since moving to Indianapolis, Ben had been harbouring a dark secret; he was born and lived all of his childhood in a small town called Partridge in Minnesota. At the tender age of 18, he had delusions of grandeur and decided to run for Mayor, it was a teenage rebellion thing he had going on again his parents. To this day he still didn’t know how but he won.

Ben Wyatt, couldn’t legally drink alcohol, but was elected Mayor.

Things went terribly for him; he managed to bankrupt the entire town on a winter sports complex called ‘Ice Town’, two months after he had won the election he was immediately impeached. He couldn’t live his house without people hurling insults at him, he cost a lot of people their jobs, their homes, he was hands down the most hated person in Partridge. 

His parents were ashamed of him, his Mother tried to comfort him when Ben refused to eat and found himself spiralling into a mental break down, but his Father refused to give him any sympathy, one night in particular stayed with Ben forever no matter how hard he tried to shut it out of his memory.

One night at dinner, Ben has just turned 21 and was still pushing his food around his plate, not really eating, not talking. His father ultimately lost his temper and snapped, he roared insults at Ben across the table, his Mother tried to stop him but it was no use.

“You’re a failure, you got what you deserved. No one will help you because you are so pathetic and beyond help”.

Ben looked horrified, he had been on medication, in therapy, just trying to cope with his poor choices years ago and now his Dad was throwing it all back in his face.

“I’m trying, Dad!” Ben spluttered out at him, he was not confrontational, especially when it came to his Father, he twisted his napkin in his hands nervously as he trembled, his Dad could hit, hard. 

“Dad?” Ben’s Father snapped back at him, “You are no son of mine”.

That was the sentence that broke up their family, not long after that night Ben’s Mother filed for divorce. The night before Ben left for Indianapolis he remembered sat in his room thinking about everything, he bankrupt his town due to carelessness, he broke up his parents due to his mental state. He couldn’t do anything right. 

It was his breaking point, make or break. The next morning he packed his bags and hugged his Mother goodbye, he needed to get out and save himself.

Nine years later and he had, he came off the medication and became a teacher, but his past haunted him. He was so shut off and socially awkward it made it hard to meet new people, until he sat in front of this Chris Traeger, now trying to remember where he had heard of Ben Wyatt before. Ben had a horrible feeling he was going to bring up Ice Town and send him packing without a fighting chance.

“I remember!” Chris jumped up, snapping his fingers. “You were in my class at the University of Indianapolis!” He cried out. 

Ben blinked, then he remembered. Of course! Chris Traeger, the guy who always came into class in running shorts and ankle weights, the guy who was in such a peppy mood 24/7 it was both annoying and infectious, how could he forget him.

“My well hasn’t this day just gotten even better” Chris said with a beaming smile, “Now, I have the pleasure in telling you that I have heard about your wonderful work in the department since you joined, I would like to make you a permanent figure in the department”.

Ben would have been stupid not to accept the job; he did so in an instance. A few months later he was a certified Professor in the department. He moved to Pawnee to be closer to the campus and the nice thing from this, he had a familiar face, his saw Chris every day and he made him feel welcome for once in his life.

He was 29 when that happened, now 32. He was still here, he had settled, but he was not comfortable at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben drove to the campus and parked his Saturn, slowly he walked through the campus halls and into the History department faculty lounge, there he made himself some coffee and started going over his lecture notes for his 9am.

“Ben Wyatt!” A voice cried out in the doorway, nearly causing Ben to spill coffee all over his work, he didn’t need to turn around to find out who it was, it was Chris. 

“It is a wonderful morning, I just ran 15K. I set my new personal best and” He raised the paper bag he had been holding, “There were blueberry muffins in the coffee shop”.

Chris pulled out two muffins and handed one to Ben, “Thanks” He said as he bit a chunk out of it. He liked Chris; he was a similar age to Ben and made him feel sane. He was fun to go out with for a Friday night beer and he had helped him actually make friends in the area. 

Chris clasped his hands around his muffin delicately, “Now, how is your new teaching plan going?” 

Ben had noticed his students growing restless, this was the last term before they graduated and with essays and exams on their minds, Ben wanted to find a way where they could blow off some steam, he had told Chris who called it an ‘excellent idea with two thumbs up’. 

“Good, I think” Ben said looking down at his notes, “I’m going to set them into a debate today, I think just getting some of their opinions out would be good rather than them having to listen to facts all day. I mean I know History is about facts and dates but I just want to hear them say what they think is right or not, also it will help me actually learn their names”.

Chris nodded, “I think it is very important to bond with your students, learning their names is the first part getting them to trust you”.

Ben had to agree with that, he had been teaching this class for months now and he only knew a handful of students by the nicknames he made up in his head.

“I know, do you think this is a good idea, I can go back to the regular plan if you want me to”.

Chris smiled at him and placed a hand around his head, “Ben, I think this is a wonderful idea…and you are a wonderful teacher”.

This gave Ben the little shake he needed to get rid of his nerves, as he walked into the lecture theatre at 9am on the dot and gathered his notes on the podium in front of him, he felt like he would be ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He looked out at the students filing in and taking their seats, some draining the contents of their Starbucks cups, a couple yawning here and there, it was the usual 9am student appearance. He couldn’t be annoyed; he was in their place before.

“Good morning” He called out, perhaps a little too cheerily, he only received a handful of grunts and a few ‘good mornings’ in return.

“Today I thought we would do something different” Ben said as he leant on the podium slightly, “Instead of learning about History, I want to hear your views on what we have learnt, we are going to have a debate, there’s no points, no winners, I just want you to have an open discussion with your views on a political stance in past history”.

“So” He clasped his hands together, “We talked about when Eagleton founded not too long ago, let’s start there, who thinks that the founders of Eagleton were right in evacuating Pawnee and building a new town, do you think Pawnee could have done more to stop this from happening” He gestured out at his students, “discuss”.

It took a while for the class to get into it, Ben found himself picking on certain students to try and get the debate in full swing. That is until a girl with light brown hair tucked back behind a Kate Spade headband stood up, claiming attention of the class.

“Of course Eagleton were in the right to move” She said in a voice that made Ben want to stuff his fingers in his ears, Ben tried to remember her name, she was usually the one to cause a fuss in class about the funny smell in Pawnee, was it Linda…Lilly? “The wealthy were wasting away in Pawnee, they needed to move elsewhere to survive and when they founded Eagleton they also founded a new way of living, one that I am most thankful for”.

“Of course you would say that, Lindsey” A voice snapped.

‘Lindsey!’ Ben thought suddenly, Lindsey Carlisle-Shay, Ben had nicknamed her ‘The Eagleton Snob’ as she was always harping on about how great she was because she was from Eagleton.

Lindsey rolled her eyes at the rogue voice, “it’s rude to interrupt, or did they not teach you Pawnee miscreants manners”.

“Well at least I’m not a stupid rich snob sell out” The voice snapped again, Ben looked up to see a blonde girl jump up from her seat and glare towards Lindsey.

He was instantly taken aback by her, where had she been? Ben could see the fire in her eyes, she was passionate about this, her blonde curls bouncing around her face as she spoke, the way she held herself, so elegantly, yet feisty and fun. 

Ben cleared his throat before a fight broke out, “Let’s keep it civil, ladies”. He then gestured to the blonde girl, dang it what was her name? “You seem to have some opinion on this…Miss”.

“Knope” the girl interjected, ‘Oh yes’ Ben thought to himself, ‘Leslie Knope AKA binder girl, the student who submitted all of her 500 word essays in binders and would usually be way over the word count so he’d have to knock some marks off her grade, he always reminded her in feedback to remember the word count, she always seemed to ignore it.

“I have lived in Pawnee all of my life and it is hands down the best city ever” Leslie started, “When Eagleton was founded in 1817 they didn’t just take all of the money from Pawnee, they took the heart of the town and beat it with a baseball bat. Pawnee, despite Eagleton’s treason still stood its ground and grew from it, we learned never to trust Eagletonians for as long as we live and we also learnt that everyone who lives in Eagleton sold their soul to move there”.

“I disagree!” Lindsey piped up again, “Our Founders left Pawnee because the smell was unpleasant, which, I might add, it still is”.

“THEN WHY’D YOU COME TO THE PAWNEE CAMPUS LINDSEY CARLISLE SHITBAG?”

“Miss Knope!” Ben snapped at Leslie, “Keep it civil or I will have to remove you”.

Leslie pouted, it scrunched up her entire face and Ben had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. 

“Sorry, Professor” She said, relaxing her face, “But my point is Eagleton thinks that it is so much better than everyone else just because they have a higher life expectancy and lots of money but they are wrong. Money can’t buy happiness and yes living forever is amazing but I would rather die young with my integrity and my soul. When Pawnee were in trouble Eagleton shut themselves in and claimed they weren’t home, if Eagleton ever found themselves in financial trouble, which by the way, I’m pretty sure you will some day, Pawnee would welcome them with open arms…and a couple of kicks up the ass but they deserved it. I hate Eagleton, I hate everyone from that stupid town for what they did to Pawnee, and for that I could never forgive them, but they are our neighbours and annoyingly if there was a crisis, Pawnee would be good neighbours…even though Pawnee rules and Eagleton drools”.

It wasn’t the most convincing argument, but Good Lord she was compelling to watch, the fiery passion that exploded in every movement of her head and arms was bliss for Ben to watch, before he (or Lindsey for that matter) had the chance to respond, the bell rang signalling the end of the class.

The students filed out, hurrying towards their next lesson. Ben leant against the podium while he watched the students exit. He watched as Leslie, who looked a little flushed after her argument, talk animatedly to her friend, then his heart thumped against his chest as she turned and looked back at him.

It was a quick glance and the look on her face was one of disdain, as if to say ‘how dare you tell me off like that’. Ben couldn’t help but smirk, she reminded him of how he used to be, before the election.

After the class left Ben had two questions on his mind, Why did she care so much about Pawnee? And where had Leslie Knope been all his life?


	2. Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kudos! It makes me feel all warm inside!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the next chapter and please comments and leave more kudos!

“He’s such a jerk!” Leslie hissed angrily as she plopped down on her bed, tucking her legs into her oversized ‘Indiana State’ jumper. The class was still on her mind, she couldn’t concentrate through the rest of the day, she could just feel Professor Wyatt’s eyes boring into her, scolding her.

“I work so hard for that class and for what? Nothing! He always marks me down on my papers, all because I’m over the word count! I mean that’s just so stupid! Why have a word count when there is so much to say” She frowned and folded her arms into her chest.

“I think that’s the point” Her roommate and best friend, Ann Perkins said softly, “You have to be able to show that you can make all the points you need to in a certain amount”, she was rummaging around her desk making sure she had everything for her shift at the hospital, Ann was studying to be a nurse and that meant taking some shifts at the local hospital as part of her grade.

She was a beautiful, studious narwhal, and Leslie loved her more than anything.

“I’m still mad at him” Leslie pouted, “He forgot my name”.

Ann crossed the bedroom and gave Leslie a friendly kiss on the top of her head, “Please don’t dwell on this, my mentor at the hospital calls me Anna all the time, promise me you’ll let this go”.

Leslie wrinkled up her nose, “Fine” She mumbled as Ann headed towards the door.

“And make sure you get some sleep tonight, I heard you up last night reading”.

Leslie blushed furiously, “I was re-reading Harry Potter” She tried to defend herself.

Ann scowled at her, “Well if I catch you doing it tonight Harry Potter is going down the toilet”.

Leslie stuck her tongue out at her as Ann closed the door, Ann was so caring and lovely, Leslie would be so lost without her. She refused to think of what would have happened to her if she and Ann hadn’t been allocated the same dorm room, they had been thick as thieves ever since.

The only thing that threatened her friendship was her classmate, April. April liked Leslie, but hated Ann. It was a weird dynamic but Leslie made it work.

However, Leslie refused to let what happened today go, yes she had made a promise to Ann but she was going to make Professor Wyatt remember her name, and regret telling her off in front of the whole class.

She climbed off the bed and sat down at her desk, she logged onto her laptop, put on some Sarah McLachlan and begun typing energetically…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben opened the door to his apartment and flopped down on the sofa, it had been a long day. All he wanted to do was reward himself with a cold beer.

He couldn’t seem to get his first class out of his head, how his debate turned ugly between those two girls, how Leslie Knope took control of the whole class and said her case so eloquently. How had he only just taken a notice to her?

He tried to watch TV, take his mind off the day but something just seemed to stop him, every time he tried to concentrate that blonde girl popped into his mind. Why did she have such an impact on him? 

No matter what he did he couldn’t get Leslie out of his mind, for the first time since he became a Professor he actually looked forward to going to work in the morning and being able to see her again, he wanted to pay attention to every little detail, how she looked when she took notes, if she watched him intently during his lectures, he wanted to impress her.

The door bursting open brought him out of his thoughts and a chubby tall man walked in.

“Ben, I tried to microwave metal and now my kitchen is on fire,” His neighbour, Andy said as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Ben sighed and stood up, Andy was his neighbour and was basically a big kid, Ben spent more time taking care of him and making sure he didn’t burn the building down than he did taking care of himself.

“Right, go get the fire extinguisher then” Ben sighed as he walked towards the mini fire.

After the fire had been put out he spent the evening in Andy’s apartment and had a beer with him, making sure he didn’t set fire to anything else. Ben liked Andy, he was one of the only true friends he had in the area, it was just a shame he was helpless.

It was about 11:30 when Ben retired to bed, he, checked his phone for any messages, there was one from Chris telling him that he had done an excellent job today, Chris sent that same text every night. The other was from his Mother, asking him to call home soon and telling him how much she missed him, Ben missed her dearly, but he couldn’t go home, she was more than welcome here and he told her that, but something always prevented her coming to visit, after checking his phone he climbed into the warm sheets and dozed off fairly quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben’s dream was extremely vivid that night, he was immersed in the rich colours and tantalising smells, it was scary how real the dream was, he swore he could feel everything going on around him.

There was a woman standing completely naked near him, her face was blurred and he couldn’t make out who she was, but there was a force inside of him, urging him towards her, wanting to be with her.

He ran his hands down the woman standing opposite him; they travelled down her waist towards her behind. There they rested as he pulled her closer to him, he didn’t look at her face as they began to kiss, her hands reached into his hair, tugging it as he pushed his tongue into her mouth.

He hoisted her up so that her legs wrapped around his back, the kissing intensifying with every movement. In that moment he knew he wanted to fuck her, he spied a bed in the corner of the dark room and carried her over to it.

Ben tossed her onto the bed and leant over her, taking a pink nipple into his mouth, he sucked and bit on it causing her to moan out loud. Her voice sounded like an angel’s cry in Ben’s ears.

Ben was hard, he angled his penis towards her vagina and pushed in, she was wet enough so he slid in with ease and he started thrusting, she was angling her hips towards him, helping them both gain the same rhythmic motion.

He looked up at her blurred face and paled, her face was clearing up, blonde curls hung around her face and two crystal blue eyes stared back at him.

Leslie was pinned underneath him, her cheeks a flushed pink.

Ben bolted awake drenched in sweat, “Holy Shit” He gasped out reaching over to turn on the bedroom light. 

He took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself down, he had been teaching students for years and never had this happened before, he had a sex dream about one of his students.

Ben rubbed his face with his hands and self-consciously his hands slowly travelled down to his boxer briefs, he froze. He had a raging hard on.

He woke up most mornings with a boner but this wasn’t any ordinary erection, this hurt, like it was hunting for the kill. 

Ben bolted out of bed and jumped immediately into the shower and turned the temperature down to freezing, he stood in the bitter cold shower for about ten minutes trying to get his thoughts in order but nothing could clear his mind for what he just dreamt.

After his cold shower he dragged himself back to bed, still soaking wet and climbed back under the sheets, he wouldn’t go back to sleep after that, he knew that was a certainty.

Leslie was 22, she wasn’t a 16-year-old girl, but still Ben felt dirty dreaming about her. He was under obligation to protect her as a Professor, he couldn’t be dreaming about fucking her.

But if it was so wrong why did it feel so damn good?


	3. First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Feel free to jump over to my tumblr and prompt me for this universe - @sakurablossomstorm-blog

“Professor Wyatt?”

Ben jumped at the sound of a voice behind him and smacked his hand on the side of the podium, he cried out in pain and rubbed his palm.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” The voice cried out again.

“It’s fine, it’s-.” He paused when he saw who he was talking to, Leslie stood in front of him, clutching a binder to her chest. She looked all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ben, however, didn’t go back to sleep after the erotic dream he had last night and looked, in his opinion, like shit.

“Ms Knope” He stammered out, after staring at her facial features for what seemed like an eternity. “What can I do you for?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday, I got a little to into the debate and said some stupid things” She shifted the binder in her hands with a soft smile, “So I thought I’d give you this to hopefully help you agree with my argument”.

Leslie handed the binder over to Ben, it was easily about 500 pages big, he turned it over and looked at the cover, the title. ‘Pawnee – First in friendship, fourth in obesity’.

“I made this last night to show you that Eagleton treated Pawnee unfairly after they moved and how when the rich people evacuated they didn’t fix the problem, they made it bigger” Leslie said in one breath.

Ben nodded in approval, “Well, I’ll read this later, but you know you won’t get any extra credit for this right?”

Leslie nodded, “Oh I know, I just wanted to prove to you that Pawnee is the best city in the world”.

She gave him a small smile and walked over to her seat. All the while, Ben’s heart was in his throat, he swallowed hard and lay he binder next to his briefcase, he would most definitely read that later.

He quickly composed himself and stood in front of the podium, ready to start his lecture.

It didn’t take too long for Ben to be engrossed in teaching, he never took his eyes off Leslie once, he wanted her every movement, how she tucked her hair behind her ears when she took notes, how whenever she disagreed with something he said she would wrinkle her nose up. Soon all the other students became irrelevant; she was the only one in the room in his eyes.

The bell soon chimed for the end of the class and the students all gathered up their notepads and laptops, Ben quickly cleared his throat, halting them from leaving.

“Remember, from 8PM tonight at the Community Centre there will be an art show, depicting all the brutal stories that came from the Pawnee settlement and the removal of the Wamapoke tribe, I expect you all to be there” Ben addressed the students.

A groan rang throughout the auditorium, a couple of students groaned that it was Beer Pong night at the Snakehole Lounge. Ben had to smirk at these comments; true he would rather be at home tonight with a beer and re-watching Fringe for plotholes. But these kids needed to realise that this was going to help them in their final exams.

“Of course you don’t have to go” Ben said nonchalantly, “But it will most definitely come up on your finals”.

All of the students glared at him, they could see right through his white lie, Ben had no idea what was going to be on the exams, they knew this. He sighed and lent on the podium.

“Ok fine there will be free alcohol”.

The murmur across the class grew louder at the promise of free booze. Ben glanced at Leslie who had turned to her friend, frantically grabbing at her arm; he saw her mouth open as she spoke excitedly to her friend.

“We are going to that”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben shakily tied his tie around the collar of his red plaid shirt, he took a few steady breaths and stared at his reflection, he took an extra long shower to get ready for tonight and spent extra long doing his hair.

He had no idea why he was spending so long getting ready; it was just an art show at the community centre. He knew he had to look his best for his students, but it was the opinion of one bubbly blonde that only mattered.

Ben had read the first chapter of Leslie’s binder on his lunch break and was so engrossed his nearly missed his 1:30 class. Of course he knew a lot about the History of Pawnee, it was his job after all, but this small town got lost in the sea that was American History. It was nice to read this from someone else’ prospective, something had had heart and passion poured into every page.

He wished he could read more of it tonight, but he had to great ready for the art show, if he saw her there tonight he would tell her how great he thought her project was.

“Where are you going?”

A voice made Ben jump out of his skin; he turned angrily to the doorway where Andy was standing. Ben was pretty sure he locked the door when he got in, so how was Andy standing in is apartment?

“Jesus, Andy!” Ben sighed clutching his chest, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Andy shook his head, “No, I just wanted to see if you wanted to play Xbox tonight?”

“Ah I can’t I’m going to an art show” Ben could see Andy’s face droop from the corner of his eyes, “You are more than welcome to come if you want, it won’t be much fun though”.

Andy shrugged his shoulders, “Nah that’s ok, I’ll play by myself” He leant on the doorway and studied Ben’s clothes.

“So who are you trying to impress?”

Ben scoffed loudly, “I’m not trying to impress anyone, just looking nice for my students”.

Andy smirked, “Yeah right, Ben Wyatt’s trying to impress a girl, you took a bath!”

“I take baths most night, Andy”.

“Nah it’s not that” Andy said rubbing his chin, trying to figure out why Ben looked so different tonight, “You’re wearing cologne and your hair's different”.

“So?”

Andy cried out laughing, “So? Ben, you dawg!! You’re trying to impress a girl! Come on, man! Who is she?”

“She’s…” Ben paused, would Andy judge him if he told him about Leslie? About the sordid dream he had about her? He gulped and turned back to the mirror, “She’s no one”.

Andy rolled his eyes, “lame!” He groaned as he walked out of the room.

Ben gave a sigh of relief at Andy leaving; he wasn’t ready to tell anyone, not yet.

But, _crap_ ; he was falling really head over heels for this girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why do we have to go to this thing?” 

April was sprawled out on Leslie’s bed while Leslie brushed her hair at her desk, there was something different about her tonight, April had thought as she watched Leslie put on a dress that only came out on nights where she wanted to stand out a little more than usual and saw her rummaging through her desk drawer to find that tube of lipstick that really brought out her blue eyes.

“Because it’s part of our grade” Leslie explained as she twirled a curl around her finger, “Does my hair look ok? Maybe I should put it up”.

“Why do you care?” April groaned, “We’re missing Beer Pong night at the Snakehole, do you not remember how fun Beer Pong night is? Last time I saw two frat boys getting into fights and then start making out with each other, it was awesome”.

“We can go next week, I promise” Leslie said smiling at April. She had spent a good three hours getting ready for tonight; she never usually took that long to get ready, not even for dates. She had pulled her nice navy dress with white spots on it, it was her sophisticated with a hint of slutty dress. 

She had no idea why she wanted to wear it tonight, but for some reason, nothing else looked right.

Just then the dorm room opened and Ann walked in, “Hey Leslie” she said and then noticed April was in the room, “Hey April”.

April bared her teeth at Ann.

Ann sighed and turned her attention back to Leslie, “Wow you look pretty, where are you going tonight?”

“The community centre, there’s an art show tonight and we have to go as part of our History class” Leslie explained, her eyes shining in excitement.

“Will Professor Wyatt be there?” Ann asked.

Leslie blushed a little, “I…I think so, he was the one who told us about it, so…yeah I guess he will be there”.

Ann raised her eyebrows, she knew that dress, she knew that lipstick. Leslie was trying to impress him, she had come in from her shift last night and saw the binder on Leslie’s desk and knew she ignored her pleas to go to sleep.

It couldn’t be possible that she liked her Professor, was it?

Leslie was a smart girl, Ann knew she would be careful and only do what was right, it could be a coincidence, she had a couple of guys that she knew she liked, there was that arrogant guy Mark who studied Art, he might be there tonight, or Dave, who was a little blunt and strange, but he studied Engineering, she doubted he would be there, or her friend Justin who studied Law, but Ann had heard from Justin that he was going to the Snakehole Lounge.

Ann decided to let it be tonight, she was sure she would hear all the details tomorrow from her friend; she grabbed a towel from the edge of the bed and stood up.

“I’m going to take a shower, but have fun tonight!” She said with a fake cheery voice, “Bye April”.

“I hope you drown” April hissed, not looking up from the magazine she was reading.

Ann took a deep breath, let it roll off her back and left the two girls.

Leslie then stood up from the desk and took one last glimpse in the mirror, “Ok, let’s go!” She said exhaling deeply.

“I swear to God if there is no free alcohol at this, I’m going to murder you, Knope” April growled as she swung her legs off the bed.

“It’ll be fun” Leslie reassured as she grabbed her bag, she took a deep breath and opened the door, she really hoped Professor Wyatt would talk to her again tonight.

And she _really_ hoped he had at least made a start on her binder.


	4. An Unintentional First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kudos so far! I'm so glad you are liking this story!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this next chapter and feel free to come send me prompts over on my tumblr: sakurablossomstorm-blog

The red wine tasted like shit.

Ben choked it down as he watched the groups of people slowly milling around one picture to another. It was all he had at the moment, it was just Dutch courage. At the moment he hadn’t seen Leslie and was getting anxious.

He tried to look out bright blonde curls, bobbing up and down in the crowd of people but nothing, so he hung by the snacks table, swallowing the vinegar like wine.

There was an ok turn out, about half of his class turned up for it, the majority were only here for the free alcohol Ben soon found out as the staff hosting the art show scrambled to find more wine. 

He could see Lindsey Carlisle-Shay talking loudly about how art shows in Eagleton were so much more classy and would serve champagne. Ben sighed and knew he had to do the rounds just to get away from her annoying voice.

That was when he spotted her; she was standing in front of him, her back turned as she made notes of a painting. Her friend was standing next to her pulling wallpaper off the wall.

Ben swallowed the last of his wine and grimaced, at least he got the last of it down and he hoped it wouldn’t make a re-appearance. Taking a deep breath he walked towards the pair.

“Ms Knope” He greeted with a warm smile, Leslie spun around on her heel and her eyes lit up as Ben took her in. She was wearing a beautifully fitted navy dress and her lips a plump red.

“Professor Wyatt” Leslie said happily, “How are you?”

“Fine” Ben replied, he then turned to the girl next to her, he recognised her and used to nickname her ‘Scowly Mc Scowlface’ due to the fact that she never smiled, Ben was concerned that she might be born with a facial defect, but apparently it was just her personality.

“This is April” Leslie introduced, “She’s in your class too”.

“Of course” Ben said as he nodded at April, “I know all of my students”.

“Oh, well I just thought I’d remind you since you forgot my name yesterday” Leslie remarked.

Ben raised an eyebrow, “I know the faces, not the names” he explained, “Actually I have nicknames for most my students since the names are harder to remember”.

This piqued Leslie’s interest, “Oh really? What’s my nickname?”

Ben pursed his lips, “Binder Girl”.

Leslie clapped a hand to her mouth and stifled a laugh, “Seriously? That’s mean!”

“Harsh but fair” Ben replied, he couldn’t believe he had just told her that. It just kind of slipped out. But by the look of Leslie’s face she was enjoying it.

“I actually read the first chapter of your binder” Ben carried on, “It was really insightful, it’s nice to actually find out some information about Pawnee that’s not in the history books”.

Leslie’s face lit up, “Oh really? You liked it? I mean I would have thought you would have gotten past the first chapter by now”.

“Oh, well y’know I had to come here and I had some grading to do, but I will finish it, it’s a good read” Ben said smiling back at her.

A huff between them interrupted their conversation and Ben had forgotten that April was standing next to them, “Leslie I’m bored, we’ve seen all the pictures I’m going to Beer Pong” She sulked.

Leslie sighed, “Oh…well I was going to stay around for a little longer”.

“Fine I’ll go without you” April said shrugging her shoulders and shooting Ben and angry glare.

Next thing Ben knew it was just the two of them, everyone else in the room was an insignificant passer by, nothing else mattered but to spend time with this beautiful woman. 

Leslie turned slightly to look back at the mural she had been admiring, Ben stood next to her and took a closer look at it, there wasn’t much to see, it was just a painting of red. 

“It’s to symbolise the amount of blood shed by the Wamapoke” Leslie said, as if to read Ben’s mind, “It’s simple but powerful”.

Ben thought it looked like garbage. He scoffed and turned to Leslie, “Really?”

“No. I’m just trying to impress you”.

Ben’s stomach somersaulted; she was trying to impress him just like he was trying to impress her. The pair ended up walking around the art show together for another hour or so, just commenting on the paintings and artwork, none of it was really good, but Ben knew it would somehow help the students to see some art from real Pawneans.

“You know in City Hall there are some really amazing murals there” Leslie explained as they walked from a piece which looked like a shattered Indian Skull with feathers sticking out, “They tell you the story of what happened to the Wamapoke people, they’re a little gory, some of them have to be covered up because they’ve made people faint in the past”.

“How do you know so much about this?” Ben asked, turning to her.

“I’ve lived in Pawnee all my life” Leslie explained, “It’s the best city in the world”.

Suddenly a staff member came up behind them and explained that the community centre would be closing in a few minutes, Ben’s heart sank as he knew Leslie would probably be off to the Snakehole Lounge like her classmates.

“Well, it’s been lovely talking to you” Ben said with a sad smile, “And thank you for keeping me company tonight, one day I’d love to hear more about the murals at City Hall”.

“Unless you want to go somewhere else?” Leslie blurted out suddenly. Ben blinked nervously, he hadn’t been expecting that.

“I…didn’t eat dinner and that wine has kind of gone to my head… there’s a really great diner nearby, they do these great waffles. I can tell you more about the Wamapoke people…if you want?” Leslie slowly stammered out.

Ben let a gentle smile spread across his lips, “I’d like that”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They walked a short while to JJ’s Diner and were both soon tucking into a plate of waffles, conversations about history and the Wamapoke people didn’t last for long and soon they were talking about every tiny thing they could think off.

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen Star Wars” Ben cried out, waving his hands in shock, “It’s like one of the most iconic series ever!”

“I’m more of a Harry Potter girl” Leslie admitted, “Maybe you should show Star Wars in a class one day”.

Ben chuckled, “Believe me, I would if I could”.

Leslie then suddenly grew pensive, “My Dad used to like Star Wars, I remember he used to watch it in hospital a lot”.

Ben titled his head to the side, “Oh? What happened?”

Leslie took a deep breath, “He died when I was ten” She explained and Ben immediately started to panic.

“Oh God, I had no idea, I’m so sorry-.”

“It’s fine” Leslie cut in with a small smile, “I’ve accepted it, I mean it was so long ago now, I still miss him, but it’s little things like that which remind me how lucky I was to have him in my life”.

Ben gave her a small smile, how he wished right now to reach across the table and take her hand in his, he’d rub his thumb over her hand softly. At the moment he had to make do with his coffee mug.

“So…what made you take History?” He asked changing the subject.

Leslie pursed her lips and thought, “I’ve always loved the subject, plus I’m good with dates and stuff that’s always a bonus, I’ve had this dream since I was a kid that one day I’d win an election or something and become a government official and I feel like having a background of History would help, I’d be able to see where mistakes were made and where things could have been improved. I guess I really like helping people and plus I want everyone to one day see that this is the greatest city in the world”.

Leslie rested her chin on her hand, “I guess that’s it really,” She said softly, “How about you? Did you always want to be a Professor?”

Ben paused; there was no way he was about to tell her all about Icetown, that could wait for another day, or never.

“I guess” Ben said with a shrug, “I never really knew what to do, I grew up in a small town in Minnesota and that was it really,” Ben said.

Leslie crinkled her eyes, “Ooh mysterious” She teased.

Ben couldn’t help but laugh, “Another story for another time, Ms Knope”.

Leslie felt her heart slam against her chest, she couldn’t believe she just called her Professor ‘mysterious’ and he laughed at it. This was all incredibly strange. She had come with the sole impression of making him pay for the other day, but now she was sat eating waffles with him and laughing… surely this was all a dream.

He was pretty good looking too, he had these big brown eyes and she just wanted to lean over and run her hands through his hair and down to his stubbly cheek. That was her weak point; stubble on a guy was the sexiest thing ever.

Ben’s eyes met hers and she blushed bright red and looked back down at her waffles, Ben smirked and finished his coffee, “I should be heading back, it’s late and I have a class to teach, probably to a load of hungover students but at least I get paid”.

Leslie quickly finished her last bite of waffles and stood up too, “Oh of course, I should go back too”.

They both walked out into the chilly night air, Leslie shivered into her coat and wished she had brought her scarf with her, Ben noticed this and wrapped his own ‘Indiana State’ scarf around her neck, Leslie sunk into it, it smelt like cinnamon and his citrusy cologne. It made her feel a little tingly inside.

“I’ll want that back tomorrow” He teased, wagging a finger in front of her face.

“O-of course” Leslie stuttered, her teeth still chattering.

“Will you be ok getting back to your dorm?” Ben asked, feeling like he should probably walk her back.

“Yeah I’ll be fine” Leslie said confidently, “I have a rape alarm and mace in my purse”.

“Smart girl” Ben remarked, “Well, thank you again for keeping me company”.

He wanted to grab her and pull her into a warm hug to stop her from shivering, but he outstretched his hand instead, settling for a handshake.

Leslie reciprocated and gingerly shook his hand; “Thank you for the waffles” She replied with a smile, “Next time I’m buying”.

_‘Next time’_ Ben’s heart leapt, “I’ll hold you to that” He said low in his throat, “Until tomorrow, Ms Knope”.

“Goodnight, Professor” She basically purred as she slowly walked off in the opposite direction.

Leslie was glad she had the cold night air to walk home in, she felt heated and flushed. That was probably the most sexually charged conversation about the Wamapoke people she had ever had with anyone, it was basically a fact that Professor Wyatt was the best looking member of staff but was she really crushing on him?

The fact that she had been out of his company for ten seconds and she already missed him made her think yes.


	5. The Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! As you can all tell my Saturday night is very eventful!! (Having no money helps!)
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the comments and kudos so far, please remember to let me know what you think so far!

“I can’t believe you spent the whole night with Professor Wyatt!” Ann exclaimed, “What were you thinking?”

Leslie shrugged one shoulder, “I don’t know, it just kind of happened. We were talking about my project and then next thing I knew we were having waffles together”.

It was around midnight when Leslie got back to her dorm room, naturally Ann had waited up for her to hear all about the night and to find out the mystery guy that she was dressing up for, it all became clear when she came back gushing about her unintentional date.

“I’m not sure if that was a good idea” Ann said earnestly, “I mean he’s your professor, things could get messy and you don’t want to do anything to hurt your final grade, graduation is so close”.

“I’m not going to do anything” Leslie said as she lay down on her bed, “Besides, nothing is going to distract me from graduating with nothing but the highest grade, I want to run for office one day you know”.

“I know” Ann sighed, getting herself comfortable in her own bed, the two girls bid their goodnights and turned the lights off. However Leslie couldn’t sleep, she was still buzzing from her night and her stomach was still doing flips, the scarf that Professor Wyatt gave her still tight in her grip.

The weeks passed and Leslie was so engrossed with work she didn’t find the time to ever give Ben the scarf back, to be honest Ben had completely forgotten about it. He taught his classes as usual, prepping the students for their upcoming exams, the air was tense in his classes, he could feel the stress seeping from the students and he noticed there were more coffee cups being left behind after lectures than usual.

Every time Leslie was in his class Ben’s heart skipped a beat, seeing her take her seat and take notes and voluntarily answer his questions reminded him that she clearly hadn’t forgotten about their night together. But he hadn’t brought the courage up to invite her out again.

It was the day of his final lecture with the class, their final exams were in three weeks time and they would now go on study leave to cram excessively, Ben finished his lecture and addressed the bleary eyed exhausted students.

“I just wanted to take the time to thank you all for a great term” Ben said to the crowd, “You’ve all worked so hard and no matter what the results are I want you all to know that I am proud of you”.

He turned around and scribbled his email address on the board behind him, “If any of you need to contact me during your study leave here’s my email, just drop me a line and we can talk about any unanswered questions or worries that you might have”.

Ben clapped his hands together, “It’s all over to you now, you know the answers, stay calm and you’ll succeed”.

The bell chimed out and the students all left the building, Ben never once took her eyes off of Leslie as she watched him intently as her friend, April dragged her away as fast as possible.

He was technically no longer her professor, he could now ask her out without raising any red flags…and he was going to as soon as she finished her exams.

Ben left the lecture hall and made his way back to the staff room, Chris was sat at a table knocking back several vitamins.

“Hey, careful with those you could overdose” Ben joked as he took a seat next to him.

Chris swallowed his vitamins with a gulp of water, “I am _extremely_ stressed out, and stress leads to depression”.

“Oh?” Ben questioned, “What’s going on, man?”

“Dennis Cooper is a professor in the Science Department, he has been seen fraternising with a student that he teaches and I have been asked to attend an ethics trial to determine how far this relationship has gone, he will be subsequently fired” Chris explained.

Ben grimaced, he knew Dennis Cooper and he wasn’t exactly the youngest member of staff at Indiana State, “Yikes, so he’ll be fired straight away”.

“Of course” Chris said, “These students are in our care, we can’t be caught having relationships with them, in fact I implemented a rule when I joined that no professor in this department can have a relationship with a student or a recent graduate from Indiana State”.

Ben gulped, so maybe there would be one red flag.

“But…that’s crazy” Ben tried to justify, “What if you met someone who you didn’t know was a graduate? You have to cut ties immediately”.

“Oh goodness no” Chris explained, “There is a statute of limitations of course, of about five years, besides I don’t know any professor here who would even consider dating one of their students, it’s just morally wrong”.

“Yeah” Ben sighed looking away, “Wrong”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hit Leslie a week into study leave.

That sudden ache in her chest, the pain that she missed someone, she knew it wasn’t for Ann despite the fact that she rarely saw her best friend now that she was in the middle of her exams, it was for someone else. Someone who she used to see every day and her supply had been cut off.

Professor Wyatt lingered in her mind all day, he’d be looming around her when she tried to study, sometimes she found herself looking at his profile on the Indiana State website just to see his face.

She still had his scarf; it had pride of place on her dresser. She sometimes found herself running her fingers through the tassels, imagining what it would be like to run her hands through his thick brown hair.

Leslie found herself getting extremely horny recently; she went on a few dates with Mark Brendanawicz recently, but they weren’t really the romantic dates she had been expecting, they were more or less booty calls on his behalf, they didn’t satisfy her hunger either. Leslie found herself relying on her trusty vibrator most nights.

It was clocking in at around 11PM and Leslie was still studying, Ann was out doing a nightshift and April was busy with her friend Orin. Leslie felt a little alone.

She looked over her notes and begun flicking through a textbook, but nothing really seemed to be able to get her to concentrate.

As she flicked a page in her notebook she saw Professor Wyatt’s email address with a heart circled around it, she had done that completely by mistake, after she had written it today April immediately dragged her out of the hall telling her she was disgusting.

If there was anyone who would be up for some company tonight it would be him.

Plus she had a binder full of questions about her upcoming exams.

Leslie opened her emails and quickly drafted an email to him.

_‘Good Evening Professor,_

_Binder Girl here! I have some questions for you, are you available to talk? Maybe tonight?_

_I still owe you some of Pawnee’s finest waffles!_

_Thanks in advance,_

_Leslie Knope.’_

Ben had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his laptop ping; he usually had his emails open since his last class just in case there were any urgent crises, he draped a towel around his hips and bent over the laptop.

His dick twitched when he saw who had sent the email.

Leslie was asking him to go out tonight with her.

Ben sucked in air through his teeth; Chris’s conversation with him about the ethics of dating a student had played around his mind. He had decided that afternoon that he wasn’t going to pursue her anymore.

However he found himself replying to her email at record speed.

_‘Good evening Ms Knope,_

_You are studying late, is everything ok? I can meet you at JJ’s in twenty minutes if you would like?’_

_Thanks,_

_Professor Ben Wyatt’_

Leslie’s stomach somersaulted when the email came through ten minutes later; she had been eagerly refreshing her emails in anticipation.

She squeaked slightly at his response, she didn’t want to get dressed up like before, she wanted to go as casual as possible to try and not be too obvious, she put on her oversized Indiana State jumper and a pair of yoga pants, not forgetting the scarf, and typed her response.

_‘Hi Professor,_

_That sounds great; I will see you in a while_

_Leslie Knope’_

She scribbled Ann a small note saying that she had gone out for the evening and hurried out of the day as fast as her legs could carry her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie arrived promptly at JJ’s Diner and saw Ben in one of the booths nursing a cup of coffee; she took a deep to compose herself and walked assertively over to Ben.

“Professor Wyatt, thank you for meeting me here” Leslie said as she took the seat opposite Ben.

“No problem, how is the studying going?” Ben asked as he placed the coffee mug down.

“It’s going ok” Leslie said, “I’m used to stress so the pressure isn’t bothering me too much”.

“That’s good, you sound confident,” Ben said as he clasped his hands together, “So, you said you had some questions about the exams, lay them on me”.

Leslie tapped her side and her eyes widened, “Crap on a pencil” She gasped out, “I left my questions in my dorm room”.

Ben chuckled, “You don’t need a binder to ask me questions, come on, just lay them on me”.

Leslie sighed; her binder was her prompt in case conversation died between the two. “I…I guess I just wanted to try and find out more about what to expect, I just want to get the best possible grade here” She explained.

Ben gave her a sympathetic smile, “You know you were one of the best students I ever taught, you were attentive and your essays were always a pleasure to read, if not a little long sometimes, you’ve got all the knowledge, Leslie, you’ll be fine”.

Leslie felt her cheeks turning hot, that was the first time he had ever said her name rather than calling her ‘Ms Knope’.

“Thank you, Professor Wyatt” She said, taking a sip of water to try and cool herself down.

“Please, call me Ben. I’m not your professor anymore” Ben said, leaning back in his booth.

Leslie blushed even more, “O-ok…Ben”.

Her saying his name felt like music to Ben’s ears, “so how have you found your time here?” He asked.

Leslie thought about her answer and then slowly nodded, “It was good, I’ve made some amazing friends here, lifelong friends. I’m excited to see what’s going to happen next, I’ve just got to get through my exams first. And hope I actually pass”.

“You will” Ben said softly, “I have every faith in you”.

Without even thinking he reached his hand out and placed it on top of Leslie’s, ever so gently he rubbed his thumb across her knuckle, reassuring her.

Leslie’s breath hitched and she felt a tingling sensation below, he was holding her hand, he actually voluntarily reached out and touched her. She couldn’t quite believe this was happening.

The two stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Ben snapped out of his haze and realised what he had been doing, quickly he retreated his hand and shoved it behind his back, it was going to stay there to stop him from reaching out and touching any other parts of Leslie.

“So um…are you excited about graduation?” He stammered out, trying to find more conversation.

Leslie had been surprised by his sudden withdrawal but shook it off, “Oh…um yeah it should be good. I mean it’s graduation so…”

She realised she was babbling so slowly trailed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour or so the two vacated the diner and back out into the autumn air, “Well you know where I am if you want to talk anymore” Ben said as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I know, thank you for tonight” Leslie said, “It was really lovely”.

She felt the fabric around her neck and remembered the scarf, “Oh, I forgot about this” She said as she pulled it off, “Here”.

“Nah you keep it, it looks better on you” He smirked at her.

Leslie exhaled, she found herself stepping towards him and standing on tippy toes, edging towards his face, she placed a small kiss on his stubbly cheek.

Ben angled his face around so that he ever so slightly brushed against her lips before she could step back. Leslie was surprised by this but found herself pushing back into him, their lips touching even more.

All Ben wanted to do was deepen the kiss even more but like a bullet to the brain Chris’s voice echoed in his voice, scorning him for kissing her.

Ben pulled away, pursing his lips. Leslie tried to close the gap between them again but he gently pushed her away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that…this isn’t a good idea”.

“What?” Leslie said, a little astounded, "But you...you held my hand!"

“You’re a student, you haven’t even graduated yet” Ben cried out, a little shocked at what he had done.

“I will be soon,” Leslie quickly said, but it was too late.

“I’m sorry” Ben said again and turned on his heel, leaving her in the parking lot holding his scarf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to start doing some drabbles based on prompts that you guys send me so pop over to my tumblr to give me a prompt! @sakurablossomstorm-blog


	6. I'm in the Corner, Watching you Kiss Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient while I get this chapter out, I know the pace is a little slow right now but I have plans and it should start getting heated soon!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

“I’m setting you up on a date”.

Ben blinked at Chris; he was sat in front of him with his bright eyes boring right into Ben.

“Oh. Great” Ben said, “Do I get a say?”

Chris shook his head eagerly, “I met her last week at a conference, her name’s Cindy Miller and she’s excellent, she just your type. Tall, brunette, a perfect match for you. She teaches Veterinary Science in Bloomington”.

Ben furrowed his brow, “Chris, I don’t know if I even want to go on a date”.

“Oh come now, Ben” Chris said with a chuckle, “I’ve known you for years and you’ve never had a real girlfriend, I am excellent at pairing people up based on their best qualities, you and Cindy Miller are compatible in so many ways, in fact she’s coming here today, she’ll be at the Campus Coffee House at 3!”

Chris left him Cindy’s number and left the staff room; Ben stared down at the slip of paper with the number on it. He kissed Leslie two weeks ago and hadn’t seen her since, he wanted to email her, just to check up on her and make sure that her studying was going well, but every time he opened up outlook he froze.

She had so much promise and fire in her belly, he was a failed mayor who was crushing on his students. He’d hold her back for sure.

He sighed and grabbed his phone, what did he have to lose, he’d meet with Cindy at Chris’s request but he was sure that he wasn’t going to be interested in her.

The dial tone rang into his ears and soon a brisk female voice answered, “Hello?”

“Cindy, it’s Ben Wyatt…Chris Traeger gave me your number, I hope that’s ok” Ben said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Why did Chris set him up? This was just giving him a headache.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie was curled up on her bed, a textbook in front of her and a pad of notes clenched in her hands, she had been studying constantly for weeks now and she was exhausted. She had relied solely on coffee to get her through, she was going to ace her finals even if it killed her.

There was a slight blip in her studying, that night she met with Profess Wyatt…Ben… lingered in her mind, they had kissed, he held her hand and then called it off just like that.

Yes it was a little weird that they were student and teacher but she would be graduating in two months time. He would just be another person. No attachments.

He was so mysterious and sexy; Leslie just wanted to find out more about that stubborn man. But he ruined it, and left her alone in JJ’s parking lot. That was kind of a deal breaker. No man should ever leave a girl like that.

Leslie swung her legs off the bed and walked over to Ann’s desk who was going over her own notes, “Annnn” Leslie whined as she rested her head on the back of Ann’s chair, “I need a caffeine boost, come get a coffee with me?”

Ann bent the corner of the page of the book she was reading, “Alright, but this is your eight one today, maybe you should calm down”.

“I know my limit!” Leslie snapped, “Sorry, I’m just a little crabby today…coffee will help!”

With a sigh, Ann grabbed her jacket and stood up, “Alright Cranky Pants, let’s go”.

It was a short walk to the on campus coffee house; it was packed with students who were all looking for a pick-me-up too, the tables were packed with anxious students with their faces buried into books or staring with wide eyes at their laptops, each hoping that the information they were cramming for would settle in their brains soon.

Ann scanned for a table, “Doesn’t look good,” she said to Leslie, “Shall we get something to go?”

Leslie nodded and they joined the queue, she was just about to tell Ann about the prep for her first exam when she saw it, her eyes widened and her heart sank.

Professor Wyatt was sat at one of the tables with a beautiful woman opposite, they were engaged in conversation and he was smiling at her.

Leslie swallowed a lump in her throat, crap; he had moved on just like that, it was as if the other night meant absolutely nothing to him. She caught a glimpse of the woman he was talking to; she was beautiful, long brown hair, dark eyes. She was a freaking supermodel. And Leslie was…dull and frumpy.

“A mocha with a triple shot” Ann said as she presented Leslie with her coffee, “What are you looking at?”

“N-nothing” Leslie quickly said, taking the coffee from Ann, “Mm, this needs sugar”.

Ann looked in the direction Leslie had been staring in and gasped, “Is that Professor Wyatt? Who’s she?”

“I don’t know” Leslie said quickly, “Can we go please?”

She looked back over just at the wrong time, the mysterious woman had risen from her chair slightly, placing her lips against Ben’s, kissing him.

Leslie felt tears stinging in her eyes, she was irrelevant in his eyes, he was only interested in that woman. She was nothing.

“What the _fuck_ ” Ann hissed and grabbed Leslie’s free hand, “We’re getting out of here”.

She managed to drag Leslie out of the coffee shop just in time, Leslie crumpled against her friend, dropping the hot coffee on the floor.

She didn’t care; she didn’t even want it anymore. She had a bad taste in her mouth and felt sick. Ann wrapped her arms around Leslie and rubbed her back soothingly.

“It’s ok, it’s ok” She lulled in Leslie’s ear, “He’s a pig, he’s not worthy of you, you hear me?”

Leslie nodded into Ann’s shoulder as she sobbed, but that still didn’t rid her of the painful ache in her chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry about this” Ben said bashfully, “Chris is really desperate for me to get out there and date”.

“It’s no trouble at all” Cindy smiled at him, she really was beautiful, she had these piercing green eyes and sultry dark hair, but she was way out of his league. She was too pretty for his liking.

He liked girls with less make up, who would rather wear big oversized sweatshirts than tight fitting dresses, Cindy Miller was everything he didn’t want.

“So Chris tells me you met in college?” Cindy asked as she took a sip of her cappuccino.

Ben nodded, “Yeah, we were classmates, we lost touch over the years and we met here when he became my boss”.

“That’s so interesting” Cindy said, flashing her pearly whites at Ben.

It really wasn’t.

Their conversation had been pretty lacklustre as the painful hour dragged on, Cindy told Ben about how she taught Veterinary science and how she once brought a cat back to life with her bare hands. Ben was allergic to cats; he didn’t care if it was dead or not. He didn’t like them. 

It was safe to say Cindy wasn’t his type at all, Chris was dead wrong.

Cindy looked at her watch and drained her coffee cup, “Oh, I’ve got to go, I’ve got a class to teach in twenty”.

Ben cleared his throat and finished his coffee, “Of course, well it was really nice to meet you”.

Cindy flashed him another smile, “We should do it again sometime” She said in her honeyed voice. 

Next thing Ben knew her face was dangerously close to his and her lips puckered, she pressed against his, Ben was so taken aback he didn’t pull away, he didn’t know what to do other than kiss her back.

Then he saw it in the corner of his eye

Leslie Knope was standing not too far away from him, her mouth parted, she looked like she could have burst into tears at any moment. 

Oh god. What had he done?

He watched as her friend dragged her away, without hesitation he pulled away from Cindy and stood up.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out,” He admitted as he grabbed his back.

Cindy looked horrified, “What? But… I thought we had a connection?”

“I’m sorry” Ben said again, “I’m just working through some things right now, you’re a beautiful woman but…I’m just not ready for this yet”.

He bolted out of the coffee shop and ran down the path along campus buildings looking for her, but Leslie had disappeared from site.

“Fuck” he panted, everything happened so fast, from Chris organising the date, Cindy kissing him, to seeing Leslie. 

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and cursed angrily, he knew one thing for certain now. He had really messed things up. 

And all he wanted was to find Leslie and to hold her and kiss her and tell her everything was going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come follow me on tumblr and feel free to send me prompts for this universe, I would be more than happy to receive them! @sakurablossomstorm-blog


	7. The Final Exam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos so far!! I'm so glad you are all enjoying this story so far! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

“Pencils down, that is the end of the exam”.

Leslie placed her pencil next to her papers and stretched backwards, she had been hunched over her desk frantically scribbling her answers in the allotted time. And now it was all over, she had finished her final exam, graduation was imminent.

She looked behind her shoulder at April behind her who was balancing her pencil between her nose and lip, Leslie really hoped that she took this exam seriously and wasn’t focused on their plans for tonight.

Their papers were collected and the students were ushered out of the hall, some were squealing exactly about how easy they thought the paper was and some were doubled over sobbing about how they were sure they had failed.

Leslie linked up with April as soon as they got out, “We did it! We’re on our way to graduation, how do you think you did? I think I aced that! I’m so glad I studied over the 1600’s again before going in”.

“And I’m glad I answered everything with Satan’s Butthole’” April chided, “Are we getting drinks now or what?”

Yes it was only 2 in the afternoon but Leslie had to agree, it was time to celebrate. 

“Sure let’s get one, but we need to get Ann after her exam before we go out later” Leslie said, getting out her phone to text Ann their plans.

“Nooo” April wined, “Why does she have to come out with us tonight?”

“Because she’s my best friend” Leslie reminded her, “And she likes you, you should be nicer to her”.

April wrinkled her nose, “Nah. I don’t like her”.

Leslie rolled her eyes, “Well can you stand to be with her tonight? They’ll be loads of other people there so you don’t have to talk to her”.

“Fine” April sulked, “But you owe me at least ten drinks”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Let’s go out,” Andy said looking over his shoulder a Ben. He had come over to his apartment to play Xbox since his mysteriously ended up in the toilet and refused to work.

Ben looked up from his makeshift office on his dining table, “I’m not really in the mood”.

“Oh come on” Andy pleaded, “You’ve finished teaching for the semester now and I really want a beer. There’s a really good band on tonight at Tucker’s”.

Ben looked down at his work, it was a Friday night and he had been stressed out recently, before their final exam he had at least four students emailing him in a panic that they spent all of their study period drinking and not revising, he had to calm them all down and organise last minute study sessions into the night. He knew all of his students would be celebrating their final exams tonight so he could too.

“Yeah why not” Ben said standing up, “I’ll jump in the shower quick and then we can go”.

“Yes!” Andy cried out, pumping his fist into the air, “Oh yeah can I borrow forty dollars? For tonight”.

Ben sighed, Andy really was like a needy, broke child.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don’t move” Ann said as she carefully applied a coat of lipstick on Leslie’s lips, she was gnawing at her lip in concentration and then stood back to admire her handiwork. 

“Well, what do you think?” Ann asked her as she handed Leslie a mirror.

Leslie admired the lipstick in the mirror, it was a shade darker to what she was used to but it was sexy, sultry. She loved it. Ann had bought her this to cheer her up, ever since that incident two weeks ago at the coffee shop Leslie had been down, she was really hung up on Ben and just needed to go out tonight feeling sexy and looking it too.

“I love it” Leslie gasped as she admired herself in the mirror, “Ann you are a beautiful smart Owl and I love you”.

Ann beamed at Leslie’s compliment and gave her a gentle hug, “we’re going to have fun tonight, you deserve it” she said as she ran a brush through her thick dark brown locks.

Leslie nodded just as April walked into the room armed with three bottles of vodka, “Hey April, do you like my lipstick?”

April glanced over her shoulder, “Did Ann do it?”

“Yeah!” 

“Then I hate it”.

Ann pursed her lips and poured herself a large glass of wine.

Quick to try and defuse the tension, Leslie jumped up and grabbed her gin and tonic, “Right ladies, we’ve all finished our exams, we’re on our way to graduation and our futures look brighter than ever, I am so proud of us getting this far. But tonight, we drink, because this has been an extremely stressful period and I’m looking forward to ingesting about twenty beers”.

She raised her glass to clink with Ann’s wine glass and April’s vodka bottle, “Let’s just not get too sloppy drunk” Ann put in, “I don’t want to have to hold your hair back tonight, Knope”.

Leslie blushed, “Hey that only happened one time, plus I’ll be careful”.

Ann smiled at her, “Right, I’m going to go to the bathroom and then we’ll go?”

Ann left the room and April poured Leslie a shot of vodka, “You want in?” She asked, holding the shot glass in front of her face.

Leslie chewed the inside of her cheek, she had just promised not to get too drunk tonight, then again she did just see Ann neck a whole glass of wine so it’s not like she had the same plans.

“Why not” Leslie grinned, taking the shot and throwing her head back to swallow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben and Andy took their beers back to their table; Andy had invited his band members out too, well, if you could even call them a band. Ben heard them practice sometimes and they sounded like they were beating cats against the wall.

“So what’s going on with you, man?” Andy asked as he took a big glug of his beer.

“What do you mean?” Ben asked, leaning on his arms.

“You’ve been all mopey and crap lately” Andy remarked, “It’s boring, you used to be fun and now you won’t even come out of your room”.

“Well I’m here now” Ben said, gesturing to himself, “But yeah…I guess I haven’t been myself”.

“It’s a girl isn’t it? That girl who you got all dressed up for that night” Andy said, jabbing at Ben in the chest.

Ben sighed, “Yeah ok fine, but nothing can happen between us, there’s…rules and stuff so it’s not even something to consider, I just need to get over it”.

Andy slapped Ben around the back, “Don’t worry man, the right girl will come along soon, you just need a good lay, that’s all! Maybe we can find someone tonight!” 

“Good lord” Ben sighed as Andy started scanning the room for talent.

“How about them?” Andy asked, pointing to a group of three girls who had just entered the bar.

Ben squinted to get a better look at them, “Oh god no” He gasped, his eyes widening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why is the Snakehole refusing entry to us?” April growled, she was propped up between Ann and Leslie as she staggered into the bar.

“Because you’re wasted,” Ann told her.

“Shut up, Ann. You made me drunk”.

“No I think the vodka did that”.

“It’s fine” Leslie quickly said, she was buzzing from her own drinking, “Look there’s loads of people here that we know”.

Apparently this was the place to go when the Snakehole Lounge was either too full to enter or refusing people because they were too drunk. It was a pretty good vibe, there was fun music and the drinks were cheaper.

Leslie noticed a group in the corner and she grabbed Ann, “Hey, look who’s here, it’s Mark”.

Sure enough Mark Brendanawicz was in the corner doing shots of jagermeister with his friends, he noticed Leslie and waved her over.

“I thought things were over between you too?” Ann questioned as she tossed April’s arm around her neck to prop her back up.

“Well we had a sex a few times…but I don’t know, maybe it will change tonight” She said with a smirk and a glint in her eye.

“Knope” Mark greeted as he handed her a shot, “How’d your exams go?”

“Good” Leslie said, her voice straining over the loud music. “How about yours?”

Mark shrugged, god he was so good looking, “Whatever will be will be” He replied.

The alcohol was starting to settle in and Leslie felt good, a little giddy but in control of her actions, she found herself rubbing Mark’s arm and laughing with him, she had told herself last week that she wasn’t going to be his booty call anymore. 

But tonight she just wanted to feel normal again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben watched Leslie rest her head against a man’s arm, he giggled and rubbed his forearm delicately and a pang of jealously flooded him. 

Andy was watching them too, “Hey that dark haired girl’s cute…the one who can’t stand up by herself”.

Ben scowled, “She’s my student…and she looks wasted”.

Andy looked a little surprised, “You taught them?” He gestured to the group.

“I taught the dark haired girl…her name’s April and…I taught the blonde one too,” Ben said, taking a long gulp of his third beer.

“And her name?”

“I…can’t remember” Ben said, his lips forming a straight line.

Andy was dumb but not that dumb, his mouth dropped open and his sucked air in, “That’s her! That’s the girl! Ben you dawg!! You like one of your students”.

He threw his head back and started laughing loudly, Ben had to quickly try to rein him in to stop him, “Andy shut up! No one knows, but it’s over, it can never happen, ok? You just need to keep quiet?”

Andy got a wicked glint in his eye, “Another beer would help”.

Ben sighed and stood up, “Alright fine”.

He made his way over to the bar when a group of girls surrounded him, he recognised them all as students from his class.

“Professor Wyatt!” One called out, grabbing hold of his hand, “Come dance with us!”

“Oh…that’s not a good idea,” Ben quickly stammered.

“Why not? You aren’t our teacher anymore!” Another girl chimed in, reaching for his other hand and pulling him onto the dance floor. 

This really wasn’t a good idea, but those three beers gave Ben a surge of confidence and craving the risk. He begun to dance with the girls and noticed that Andy had joined him too, hopefully forgetting about his beer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie stumbled over to the bar to get another round of tequila shots when she saw the group of girls dancing, they were her course mates but she couldn’t remember their names right now, her mind was hazy with booze.

Then she saw it, a man dancing with them, the same man who kissed her and then left her in that parking lot, the same man who kissed another woman in front of her.

Professor Ben Wyatt was dancing with her classmates.

Leslie felt a rush in her chest and felt like she was about to vomit; she clasped a hand over her mouth and took slow breaths.

“Leslie?” Ann quickly ran over to her, “Are you going to barf?”

Leslie quickly shook her head, “Guess who’s here?” She slurred.

“Yeah, Mark you told me already”.

“No” Leslie pointed at the group, straight at Ben’s face, Ann gasped loudly.

“I’ll kill him”.

“No don’t!” Leslie cried out, grabbing Ann’s hand and swinging her back round to her side, “Just ignore it…I’m having fun with Mark. I don’t care about him”.

Ann scowled, Ann was an aggressive angry drunk, given the chance she would have run over and punched him in the face there and then. But she softened. 

“Let’s go do those shots,” Ann said, grabbing Leslie’s hand and dragging her over to the bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben was exhausted, he had danced so much that his feet ached, he bid farewell to the girls who were now preoccupied with a group of football players who had entered to bar and turned back to Andy.

Andy who now had April on his knee.

“Ben she’s awesome” Andy chuckled happily as April’s head hung against his chest; “She’s saying the funniest stuff”.

“It’s Professor Dick” April slurred, pointing a wobbly finger into his face and poking his nose.

Andy roared with laughter, “I’m totally calling you that from now on”.

April then reached her head up and started making out with Andy in front of Ben, this was all so strange, Ben was probably going to wake up tomorrow with Andy relaying about how he had sex with one of his students.

“Andy, I’m going to get her some water” Ben called to Andy, but he was too busy sticking his tongue into April’s mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie poured salt onto her hand and gripped the tequila shot in the other. She clinked glasses with Mark and licked the salt off her hand and necked the shot. She fumbled around for the lemon slice she had retrieved from the bar and sucked it frantically to relieve herself from the taste.

Mark sniggered as Leslie’s face crunched up, “You’re cute when you do that” he commented.

Leslie wiped the lemon from her lips and giggled, “Yeah well you’re just cute, Mark Brendanawissss”.

Mark laced his fingers into Leslie’s and tugged her away from the table, “Come on, let’s get out of here,” He told her.

Leslie slipped off her seat, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, I need to wait for April and Ann…can we just make out on your face for a bit?”

Mark looked a little peeved off but shrugged, “Alright if you insist”.

It wasn’t soft and gentle, he pressed his lips against Leslie’s and snaked his tongue straight in, Leslie could taste the lemon on his lips. It was sour and wasn’t pleasant at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben grabbed a glass of cold water from the bar for April when he saw it, Leslie and the guy she had been all over pinned up against a wall in the corner kissing each other.

A hard lump formed in his throat and the jealously reared up again. Was this how she felt after she saw him kiss Cindy? Because it well and truly sucked.

He wanted to run over there and push that guy off her and claim that she was all his, but he couldn’t, he turned her down that night at JJ’s, it was all his fault that he wasn’t the one to take her home tonight and hold her hair back while she vomited.

Ben gritted his teeth together and walked back to his table, he slammed the water down in front of April and Andy who still hadn’t come up for air and stormed out of the bar.

He wasn’t going to stay here anymore. He needed to go home.

Leslie saw it all, she saw Ben watching her kiss Mark, at first she felt proud, she wanted him to see her kissing him. She wanted him to feel how bad she had for the past two weeks.

But the expression on his face just killed her, he looked shamed, miserable. She couldn’t be mad at him, there was something that he wasn’t telling her and that mystery made her crave his attention.

She pushed Mark away, claiming she needed air and grabbed her coat to follow Ben out. 

He wasn’t too far away when she left, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he trudged along the path.

“Professor” Leslie called out, stumbling slightly as the alcohol took hold of her.

Ben turned around and saw Leslie staggering towards him, “What gives?” She hissed at him, “You can kiss other women but you throw a hissy fit when I try to get over you”.

“Please don’t do this here” Ben warned her.

“Why not?” Leslie shrieked dramatically, “I can do whatever I want, and _you_ ” She jammed a finger into his chest, “Have no say over what I do, _you’re_ the one who left me that night, _you’re_ the one who won’t let me move on”.

“Leslie, it’s complicated” Ben tried to argue back.

“What’s so complicated? You like me, I like you, why can’t we just be together, it’s not fair” She was practically shouting at him now and stomping her foot on the ground.

“What’s so awful that you just can’t tell me?” She screamed at him, her cheeks flushed.

It was all too much; Ben placed his hands on either side of her cheek and pulled her into him, kissing her fiercely. Leslie’s fists uncurled and she softened immediately. Ben kissed so much better than Mark, his lips were firm and warm and gave just the right amount of tongue and when Leslie’s tongue flicked against his, he moaned into her mouth which made her stomach muscles clench.

He pulled away slowly, “I don’t want to talk about it here…can we-.”

He was cut off by Leslie promptly throwing up on his shoes.

“Talk about it later” Ben finished and then sighed, he wrapped Leslie’s arm around his neck and propped her up as they walked down the road to find a cab.

He couldn’t take her back to her dorm room like this, and he owed her an explanation. He’d take her back to his place and hoped that she wouldn’t toss her alcoholic cookies all over his couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come follow me on tumblr: @sakurablossomstorm-blog
> 
> I'm also accepting prompts for this universe so come send me so if you want to see your ideas turned into this story!


	8. It's Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos so far! I've been sitting on this chapter for a while since I've been away and have been so excited to get it up! I hope you all enjoy

Leslie woke to a searing headache, her head throbbed and her skull felt like it was about to burst open. She grunted and pushed her cheek further into the comfy pillow that she had been resting on, it felt strangely unfamiliar.

She opened a bleary eye and saw a large TV in front of her with a huge collection of DVDs in the shelf next to it; the place had an adult theme to it and was not like her dorm room. Then she realised that she wasn’t in her bed, or any bed for that matter. She was on a blue sofa and covered with a plaid blanket that smelt like cinnamon, she looked down and saw a small trash can on the floor lining up to where her head lay. 

Then it all came flooding back to her.

She remembered the bar, vodka, tequila and jagermeister shots, seeing Ben, kissing Mark, kissing Ben, barfing all over Ben’s shoes, being dragged into a taxi by Ben, more barfing in the cab and then finally literally being carried into his apartment.

“Oh god” Leslie hissed to herself and rubbing her face, smearing her already smudged make up over her face.

A door opening in the corner of the room made Leslie jump and pull the blanket covering her over her head. She heard footsteps coming towards her and then…silence.

She dared not to breath; if it was Ben hopefully he’d think she was still asleep.

“I know you are awake, I could hear you moaning to yourself”.

Leslie swore to herself and slowly pulled the blanket off her head, there was Ben standing at the end of the sofa, he was dressed in a pair of blue plaid pyjama bottoms and a black t-shirt, his arms were folded across his chest and his hair was all wild and out of place, he looked positively adorable and made Leslie want to pounce on him and kiss him all over again.

And hopefully not vomit all over him.

Then she remembered she was still mad at him and thought maybe vomiting over him would really teach him a lesson.

“How do you feel?” Ben asked as he walked past her to the joining kitchen.

“Mushy” Leslie mumbled, ok maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say in this situation, but there was no other word for how she felt.

Ben grinned and grabbed a slice of lukewarm toast from the kitchen and walked back to the sofa, he ushered to the end of the sofa and Leslie quickly shifted her legs so that Ben could sit next to her.

“Thank you but…I feel too sick to eat anything” Leslie said gesturing to the toast.

Ben arched his eyebrow; “Well it’s a good thing I got this for myself”.

“O-oh” Leslie stammered, her eyes dropping to the floor shyly, “Ok I think I probably need to apologise for last night…there might have been some thing that I didn’t mean to do”.

“Like barfing all over my shoes?” Ben retorted.

Leslie winced, “Yeah…like that”.

Ben sighed and took a bite from the toast, “It’s fine we’ve all been there, do you want some aspirin? It might make you feel better?”

Leslie shook her head, “In a bit maybe”.

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence as Ben munched on the toast, Leslie drew her knees up to her chest and nibbled on her thumb, her stomach queasy and nauseous. She looked back over at Ben who was staring absentmindedly at the blank TV screen, watching him eat the toast made her feel worse, the smell, the crunch it made every time he took a bite.

“Oh no” She quickly spluttered and grabbed the wastebasket from the floor; she hung her head into it and retched loudly as god knows what poured out of her throat.

She felt the sofa shift slightly but she clung hold of the basket for dear life. A warm hand that she could only assume to be Ben’s moved across her hunched back as Leslie expelled more of last night from her body. The warmth gave Leslie goose bumps over her arms and the feeling giving her a momentary sweet release from her hangover.

It didn’t last for long as more bile erupted from her throat and into the basket. 

Leslie hugged the wastebasket closer to her chest as she shivered, her hands trembling and fighting to keep hold of the basket. She felt Ben move away from behind her and tug at the basket. 

“Are you good? Can I take this to clean up?” He asked softly and Leslie managed a nod as she let go and handed Ben the basket. He straightened up and grimaced at the basket, “Good lord, how much did you drink last night?”

Leslie didn’t reply, she just buried her face in the blanket and groaned.

Ben sympathised with her, he had done the exact same when during his final test at college, he got so drunk he ended up butt naked in a bush, to this day he still couldn’t tell you where his clothes ended up, but at least he was safe and still had his dignity.

Leslie, however, was obviously suffering from a hangover and embarrassment.

He took the trash can to the bathroom and poured the contents into the toilet, looking away as he did. He gave it a quick wash out and walked back out to give back to Leslie in case she needed to use it again.

Just as he walked back in the front door opened with a huge thud.

“Ben!” Andy cried as he shot across the room towards him, “Ben, dude, this is an emergency, do you have any condoms?”

Ben scowled at Andy, this wasn’t really an emergency, “Why do you need…oh god” He groaned as he realised why he needed them, “You took April home?”

“April?” Leslie squawked as she sat up from the sofa, “April’s here?”

“Next door apparently” Ben replied rubbing his forehead.

“We used up all mine last night and she still wants to go, we did it nine times last night” Andy said excitedly to Ben who quickly waved him off.

“Ew. No. Too much information, top drawer in my bedroom, please go” Ben said as he nudged Andy on his way.

Andy gleefully ran towards the bedroom and retrieved his treasure, as he was about to leave he paused and stared at Leslie.

“Hey, weren’t you at the bar last night?” He asked.

Leslie squinted her eyes at Andy’s loud voice, “I think so,” She mumbled.

“Oh cool…OHHH! Ben! This is the girl? That girl you like?” Andy cried out pointing to and from Leslie and Ben.

“Ok, that’s enough” Ben snapped and grabbed Andy’s arm to drag him out of his apartment, before Andy could say another word he had been shut out.

Ben sighed and leant against the doorframe, he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead again, he was sure he now had a headache coming on and he only had two beers.

When he opened his eyes Leslie was watching him, “You told your neighbour you like me?” She asked, her voice stern.

Ben pushed himself off the doorframe and walked towards his bedroom, “You should get back to your dorm, your friends must be wondering where you are”.

“One friend is next door and is probably hearing all about how I’m here” Leslie retorted, “you said last night we could talk about this, I’m here, I’m not moving any time soon…partly because I can’t without wanting to puke. So let’s talk”.

Ben turned back to face Leslie, she had this fiery look in her eyes that made him weak at the knees, it was the same look she had that day in his class when she spoke up. He blue eyes glistened and her cheeks flushed. 

He knew he couldn’t avoid this anymore.

Slowly he padded back over to the sofa and sat back down on the opposite side to Leslie, “Fine…what do you want to talk about?”

“This!” Leslie snapped, “You can’t be that dense, you’re a college professor for crying out loud”.

“Yeah, _your_ professor” Ben hissed, “You don’t understand any of it, yeah fine, I like you, you’re amazing and beautiful and stupidly smart but I can’t do anything because I could get fired. There. Is that what you wanted to here?”

Leslie pursed her lips, “It’s a start,” She said curtly.

Ben took a deep breath and grabbed a chair from his dining table, he pulled it opposite Leslie so that she could relax on the sofa, plus he felt like he needed his distance from her in case she barfed again or hit him, she did look pretty angry.

“I don’t know what else to say, nothing can happen, ever.” Ben started, “There’s a rule… it’s really fucking stupid but some professor in the Science department got fired because he was having sex with his student, apparently the college is really heavy on student/teacher relationships…even recent graduates”.

He looked at Leslie; she was sat upright, his afghan pooling around her legs, her eyes locked on his, taking in every word.

“Chris…Professor Traeger…made this rule, he said that while students are in our care, even after graduation, no professor can have relations with them” Ben groaned and rubbed the sides of his face, “That’s why I cut all ties, and I’m sorry about that night but I freaked out and…It’s my job, Leslie! I really need this job”.

“I know” Leslie quietly whispered, “I get it…but-.”

“There’s no buts in this, Leslie” Ben snapped, “It can’t happen, it’s not just my job its also your potential career on the line, you said yourself you wanted to work in government, what if this all came back to bite you? I could never forgive myself if I stopped you from achieving your dreams”.

Leslie paused, she looked down at her hands that were now knotted around the blanket, “That’s really sweet…but I really like you, I’ve…never felt this way about anyone before, I guess I just wanted to peek at what might have could have been…” She frowned at her own words, she wasn’t making any sense.

Ben’s nose twitched, “I feel the same, I mean even when I went on that date two weeks ago and I saw you there-.”

“What?” Leslie stammered, leaning back away from Ben, “You went on a date, I don’t recall seeing you on a date at any coffee shop”.

“Oh stop it I know you saw me, you looked at me and I just felt my heart break, I called it off with Cindy, she’s not my type anyway” Ben explained, clasping his hands together in his lap to stop him from fiddling.

“Tall brunettes aren’t your type?” Leslie quipped, raising her eyebrow.

“No, I prefer blondes” Ben smirked.

Leslie felt her cheeks getting hot and her stomach churn, she made a silent plea to her insides to keep everything down just for this moment, because right now she was looking into Ben’s chocolate brown eyes and getting lost in them.

There had to be a way around this.

“Ok” She mumbled, trying to piece everything together, “There has to be some sort of way around this, but obviously I don’t want to force you into something that will make you uncomfortable, I just saying give me a chance, I know I’m younger than you and there’s all these rules but…it’s a dumb rule, Ben. People should just be free to date who they want”.

She leant forward, swinging her legs off the bed and placed her hands on Ben’s knees, he flinched slightly but didn’t budge from her touch, “How about we go on a proper date, just to trial it, test the waters. I mean who knows, I might think of you as even more of a fascist hard ass”.

“You think I’m a _what_?” 

“A cute fascist hard ass” Leslie quickly countered, “Oh come on, I spent a year in your class and you didn’t even bother to learn my name”.

“I don’t think that constitutes me as a fascist, besides, that’s not really the way to flirt is it? Ms Knope” Ben smirked, his lips twitching.

“If you’re so smart you should do the flirting then, Professor” Leslie let the last word linger on her lips.

Then her insides decided that enough was enough and Leslie found herself scrambling to find the wastebasket behind her and began to puke up more of last night.

Ben reached over and rubbed her back soothingly, “Maybe we should talk about this after you stop puking all over my apartment”.

Leslie silently agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She couldn’t move for the entire day without feeling sick, Ben let her lie on his couch to recover, she spent the day watching crap reality shows and napping against his thigh just trying to feel human again, Ben managed to coax some aspirin into her and she just about managed to keep a glass of orange juice down, Ben had tried to get her to eat some homemade chicken soup to help her feel better but Leslie took one spoonful and her stomach instantly rejected it.

The day turned to night and Leslie hadn’t so much stirred from the couch, Ben glanced at his watch and knew it was too late to send her home by herself.

“You’re more than welcome to stay here again tonight” He told her, “It’s not like your in any state to go anywhere”.

“Thanks” Leslie replied, a little hurt. “I guess it would make things a little easier”.

Ben nodded, he handed her the TV remote, “I’m going to turn in, are you going to be ok here?”

“Yeah” Leslie mumbled, she looked exhausted which Ben found pretty ironic considering all she had done was sleep and barf all day, he felt cruel letting her sleep on his couch again, she needed a proper bed and a good night sleep.

She had also managed to keep everything down for two hours now, a new personal best.

“Unless…you wanna come in with me?” He asked, gesturing towards his bedroom, “I mean…no funny business I’ll wear pyjamas and-.”

“That would be great” Leslie cut him off, she unwrapped herself from her blanket cocoon and slowly clambered off the couch, Ben was immediately by her side, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady.

Leslie groaned and rubbed her forehead, “I don’t even want funny business, I just want to sleep and I never ever want to drink again, god as my witness”.

Ben chuckled, “You’ll feel better in the morning”.

He handed her one of his old t-shirts to wear rather than the dress she had been in since last night, she changed slowly relishing in the feel of clean clothes and the faint scent of Ben’s cologne lingering on the shirt. 

Ben had pulled the sheets back while Leslie changed, he set her on the side of the bed and handed her two more aspirin to take and placed a large glass of water by her bedside.

“Get some rest,” He told her softly, “I’ll drive you back tomorrow”.

“Thank you” Leslie said, her voice hoarse and croaky, “Sorry about everything, I owe you big time”.

“You can make it up to me on our date” Ben replied as he wrapped the covers around Leslie, tucking her in.

It didn’t take long for Leslie to be snoring again, her cheek smooshed against the pillow, her legs drawn to her chest in a ball, Ben eased himself next to her, all of the worries and concerns he had earlier drifting out of his head as he nuzzled against Leslie’s sweet smelling blonde hair.

Maybe this could work out, just maybe.


	9. The Real First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've neglected this story for a while. I've been a little busy with other projects and completely forgot about this! I hope you all enjoy this chapter though, it's a long one so should keep you all satisfied!!
> 
> A big thank you goes out to supervanillabear31 and firstinfriendshipfourthinobesity for beta-ing this for me! You are both awesome!

“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Ann snapped at Leslie. She paced the room frantically while Leslie’s hand fidgeted in her lap.

“You just completely disappeared in the bar! I took my eyes off you for two seconds, and you were outside with _him_. And then I don’t hear anything else from you all night. I was so close to calling the police on both of your asses and then I hear from April, _April_ of all people! That you stayed over at Professor Wyatt’s house for two nights. You should have seen her smug little face when she told me; it was like she had one over me because she knew something that I didn’t! I don’t know which makes me angrier!” Ann seethed with fury as she finally plopped down on her bed following her rant.

Leslie scrambled off her bed and crawled towards Ann, pulling her best friend into a hug. “I’m so sorry,” she hummed into her ear. “But it was amazing, Ann. We had a great night together…aside from all the vomiting.”

Leslie woke that morning in the cosiest bed she had ever been in; of course, that was helped by the surprise of Ben wrapped around her. His arms pulled her into his chest, and he tugged at his ‘Letters to Cleo’ shirt she was wearing in his sleep. It was truly the cutest thing she had ever seen.

When Ben woke, he abruptly got up and told her he was going to drive her back. Leslie did so with a knot growing in her stomach. He seemed so blunt and snappy that morning, a huge contrast to the snuggly Ben she had during the night. This was just like how he was yesterday afternoon when they tried to talk about the whole situation.

However, as she sat in the passenger seat of his Saturn while he drove her back, his fingers stretched over and played with her fingers. Leslie watched his big hand weave around her dainty fingers with a smile, it was something to take her mind off the epic two-day hangover she currently had.

As they drove down an empty road close to her dorm, Ben kissed her hand and told her that they’d talk soon about their date. Leslie’s heart skipped two beats, and she practically skipped the rest of the way home.

Other than stopping once to puke in a nearby bush.

As soon as she got back to the room, she wanted to relay the entire night back to Ann. However, her poor, worried, protective jaguar of a best friend was angry and wouldn’t let Leslie talk before getting out her rant.

When Leslie finally spilled all the details to Ann, she sighed. “I really hope you know what you are getting yourself into,” Ann mumbled. “He hurt you once, not to mention his job is potentially on the line for you.”

“It’s a dumb rule,” Leslie cut in. “It’s so stupid. We graduate next month. I’m a free woman; I can date who I want. Plus Professor Traeger isn’t going to keep a radar on me and my dating life.”

Ann rolled her eyes. “No. But he’ll see Ben every day. You have to be so careful, promise me?”

“I promise,” Leslie replied wistfully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie managed to ease her hangover after a long shower to finally scrub the grime from her body. Her dorm room showers were really temperamental and usually only gave her a second of warm water. But today the shower must have taken pity on her, and she spent a blissful half an hour standing under the showerhead, absorbing as much of the heat as she could.

As she walked back to her room, a towel draped around her waist, she noticed her phone buzzing on her desk. She assumed it was a text from April and picked it up, only to drop it back down in surprise.

It was Ben.

A million thoughts ran through Leslie’s mind as she picked the phone back up with trembling fingers. What did he want? Was he calling off the whole thing? Was he going to tell her never to talk to him again?

But the message was different.

_Hey._

_I hope you are feeling better. I can’t stop thinking about you…we should go on that date soon._

_B xx_

Her heart skipped several beats as she paced her room, trying to think of a sexy but low-key response. She took a deep breath in and typed out several potential messages, but deleted them immediately. She sounded too young, too immature. Ben was…adult, intelligent, mature…what the hell did he see in her?

A beat of inspiration shot through Leslie and she quickly typed out the text, sending it before she backed out.

_Hi!_

_I’m ok thank you. A little sore headed but I had a warm shower and that helped._

_A date sounds great! Just let me know when and where, Professor._

_L xx_

Leslie had to commend herself on that text. She was acting aloof and casual, putting the ball in Ben’s court. He’d take the initiative and make the first proper move now. He had to.

Or did he think she was being rude? Or wasn’t interested at all? Crap. She shouldn’t have been so casual, he surely was going to call it off now, he’d text her back and tell her that he was sorry but he was going to go off with that leggy brunette he kissed at the coffee shop.

Leslie’s phone buzzed again and she grabbed it to read his response, heart thumping against her chest.

_Oh a shower eh? I would’ve liked to join you… ;)_

_Are you free tomorrow night around 8? There’s a nice French place in Indianapolis we should go to…I hope you’re not too against the idea of alcohol because I’d like to buy you a drink._

_B xx_

Jesus.

Crap. Crap on a cookie.

He wanted to take a shower with her.

Leslie’s mouth had dropped open without her realising, her mouth dry and tongue practically hanging out. The thought of Ben, naked in her shower, running his hands over her hips was too much for her to handle.

A familiar ache in her lower belly flared up, the feeling of need flushed to her centre and she swallowed hard. Last night was just the beginning of all this, being wrapped up in his warm arms. Pressed up against his taut, wiry body. She needed that feeling again. She needed Ben Wyatt.

Leslie inhaled, taking a slow and steady breath to collect her nerves, and wrote her next text.

_I would’ve liked it if you were there too…_

_8 sounds great. I’ll meet you at the abandoned gas station by JJ’s._

_L xx_

She tossed the phone to the side. Her heartbeat started to slow again and her breathing calmed, however, that feeling in her lower belly remained, a nagging feeling of want that begged Leslie to act tonight.

Ann was working at the hospital for the evening, so she’d be alone. She stood up and walked towards the door, locking it so that she wouldn’t be disturbed and laid back down on her bed.

She unwrapped the towel from her body and tossed it to the side. She traced her fingers down her chest and in between her breasts, slowly moving down, down past her stomach and into the curls along her pubic bone. 

Leslie closed her eyes as she edged her fingers closer, further towards her centre, then she felt her target. Her hips arched into the air as she gasped with pleasure…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben was terrified.

He sat on the edge of his bed, hands balled into trembling fists as he tried to calm himself down. He was dressed and ready for his date, but there was something deep down that shook his nerves and kept him rooted him to the bed.

Why the hell did he do this? This was a stupid idea. Leslie would never fall for someone like him, despite what she said. He was pathetic, a loser, no one wanted him. No one ever wanted him.

Leslie was so perfect, so full of light and laughter. And he was…an idiot. If Chris were to find out about their relationship, he’d be fired; he’d never work as a teacher again, let alone trying to find another job after that would be hard. And Leslie? What would happen to her? Would she face disciplinary action? It wasn’t just his career on the line, it was her entire life. Ben swore that he would never get into a situation with a woman like this again. Yet, here he was, risking everything, again, for a girl.

It was just like Cindy Eckert all over again.

Cindy, the girl who laughed and mocked him, who told him he wasn’t attractive or good enough to be with her. Who told him that she’d consider it if he attained some sort of high status. Who attended his inauguration with an evil smirk on her face. Who joined the crowds of angry people, screaming at him, throwing eggs and garbage at him. 

He ran for mayor because of her. She dragged him through the mud and caused him all this hurt and pain. And he swore never again, he’d never let a girl try to harm his life or career again.

But here he was, repeating his same, stupid mistakes. Clearly aging almost fifteen years did nothing to his common sense.

Ben could feel his throat closing up; he was gasping for air and desperately trying to fight through the rising panic. Trying to come out of the other side like he has done several times before. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t fight the anxiety mounting inside of him, grabbing every single organ and tightening its grip on them, slowly pulling him under to that dark place he hated so much.

He bolted up and sprinted to the bathroom, getting there just in time as the vomiting started. He let out an agonising cry as nothing but bile splashed into the toilet bowl. This was going terribly, and the date hadn’t even started.

But then, her face flashed into his mind, that look she gave him yesterday, the one that said she wasn’t going to back down without at least experiencing it.

She wanted to go on this date with him. She wanted to see him again. She wanted this to work out.

Leslie wasn’t Cindy. She was too innocent, too beautiful to be as cruel as her. Leslie was fiery and peppery, and Ben wanted to see her.

He forced his eyes open, grabbing at the sides of the toilet as his breathing finally started to slow. He whimpered as the last of his panics finally fled from his body, going back to the darkness to wait for his next episode.

Ben shakily pushed himself up and took wobbly steps towards his bathroom cabinet, making a mental note to brush his teeth again. There, he located a bottle of Xanax that he used only in emergencies and popped the cap open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie shivered in the cold and pulled the collar of her coat up around her neck. He was late. Only by five minutes, but still late.

She glanced over her shoulder anxiously at the abandoned gas station, she had come her with Mark once and they made out in his car. It was a place that everyone saw but yet took no notice of, so it would be a perfect place for Ben to pick her up without anyone realising.

Leslie frowned at the memory of Mark, and how gropey he had been the other night in the bar. He didn’t respect her; he was just in it for squeeze of her tits, and maybe sex. That was it.

Her memory from that night was still a little hazy but she remembered everything about her kiss with Ben. How his firm lips pressed against hers with a sense of urgency, like the world was about to end and he just needed to experience it just this once. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Not like Mark. She liked Mark way more than he liked her, but with Ben it was equal.

A pair of headlights flashed in the distance and Leslie shielded her eyes. The car pulled up in front of her and there he was. Ben Wyatt, eight and a half minutes late, but in one piece and as handsome as ever.

Ben climbed out of his car and walked over to Leslie, taking her hand in his and kissing it. 

“Shall we get going?” he asked her, and Leslie wordlessly agreed.  
He was so handsome. He was dressed in a suit and she wanted to grab that skinny tie and pull him in for a kiss. All the while a rush of relief fell over her, she was so glad she picked out an elegant green dress for tonight after all considering how dapper Ben looked.

He opened the passenger side for her to climb into, then went around the car and slid into his own seat. He clicked his seatbelt back in place and drove off.

“I didn’t think you were going to come,” Leslie finally spluttered out. Ben shot her a quick glance before looking back at the road.

“Why not?”

“You were late,” Leslie scolded. “Eight minutes.”

Ben couldn’t help but grin. “I’m sorry. I got held up at my apartment. My neighbour, Andy, he’s like a small child, and I basically have to look after him and stop him from burning the place down.”

He stopped at a traffic light and rested his hand on Leslie’s thigh. “Plus have you never heard of the term ‘fashionably late?’”

Leslie tried her hardest not to laugh at that comment; her face twisting as she attempted to conceal her laughter, but it was no good. She let out a small giggle and turned her face away so that Ben wouldn’t see.

“It’s going to take us about half an hour to get to Indianapolis; is that ok?” He asked, his thumb rubbing circles against her thigh.

Leslie was glad the sun had set because she could feel her cheeks growing hot. “Y-yeah, that’s fine. We can listen to the radio or something.”

Leslie scowled at her own comment. That wasn’t sexy at all. She was meant to be cool, calm and collected. Instead she was a blushing, pathetic, babbling child.

Ben grinned and pressed the dial to turn the radio on. Al Green’s voice soon filled the car, and it soothed Leslie. She relaxed into his warm touch as Ben carried on rubbing circles against her thigh.

She had to enjoy this while she could. He wouldn’t be doing this at the restaurant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The waiter came over and poured some of the wine into Ben’s glass, he took drank the tiny amount in one sip and swallowed. Leslie watched his every movement with a rising heat pooling in her lower belly. He was so unbelievably handsome, and who’d have thought Ben tasting their wine for the evening would do it for her.

But it did, it really did.

Ben nodded his approval to the waiter, who poured Leslie a glass before returning to Ben’s to top his up. He gave them both a friendly nod and told them he’d be back to take their orders in a moment.

Leslie glanced around the restaurant. It was so fancy; with crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and a piano played softly in the background. Not to mention she couldn’t pronounce half the stuff on the menu, and the prices were extortionate. She just hoped that she had enough of her student loan to cover it. The wine alone was almost $50.

But Ben assured her that this was on him, as the gentlemen should always pay on the first date. 

“If that’s ok?” he then blurted out. “I mean, I don’t want to be sexist or anything, but it is expensive, and I know you’ve got a ton of debt because –”

“It’s fine,” Leslie cut in with a soft smile. “And thank you, really, this place is amazing.”

Ben gave Leslie his patented crooked grin. “The evening’s just beginning m’dear.”

He raised his wine glass, and Leslie scrambled to get hers, both lifting them towards each other until they clinked with a gentle ring.

“To our first date, Ms Knope.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Given that Leslie had never heard of most of the dishes on the menu, she had a surprisingly good meal. She picked coq au vin which Ben recommended while he opted for bouillabaisse. Leslie’s dish was one of the tastiest things that she had ever eaten, and the vegetables in the stew didn’t seem to ruin it, which was a miracle in itself. Ben let her try one of the mussels from his dish after Leslie told him that she never had one before. 

The wine flowed along with their conversations, talking about everything from the history of Pawnee to Ben’s love of Game of Thrones and the art of Claymation.

Once their dishes had been cleared and dessert had been picked, Ben finally reached over and clasped Leslie’s hand in his. Leslie’s heart skipped five beats and she looked into his warm brown eyes.

“I’m having a great time tonight,” Ben told her, causing Leslie to let out a breathy sigh.

“Me too,” She replied. “Who’d have thought?”

“I…have something to admit,” Ben said as he winced slightly. “I took a Xanax before coming out. I probably shouldn’t have, but I was so nervous. I really didn’t want to mess this up because…I really like you, Leslie. And this whole situation sucks, because we were meant to do this as a trial to see where we end up. And now our date is nearly over, and I’ve realised that I want to do this again. I want to see you again. I don’t care about the rule, I don’t care that I’m older. This is what I want.”

Leslie felt her heart practically jump for joy. This was really happening. Her handsome, sexy professor who up until about two months ago she thought was an arrogant jerk was now pouring his heart out for her, laying bare some of his skeletons for her to see and inviting her into his life.

He wanted to see her again.

That echoed around Leslie’s head as she tried to form a coherent sentence. Cool, calm, collected, she repeated to herself over and over again.

Ben swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I mean…it’s not just me…right? You…you feel something too, right?”

Leslie felt her lips curve into a smile. “No,” she whispered. “It’s not just you.”

She felt Ben’s hand tighten against hers; she thought he was going to get up and kiss her, but the waiter soon returned with their desserts, and Ben quickly pulled his hand away.

“To be continued,” he joked and took a forkful of his carrot cake.

Leslie nodded, her heart still hammering against her chest as she cracked the caramelised sugar of her crème brulee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben took her hand in his as they walked outside. He didn’t let her look at the check once it arrived; he just placed his credit card down and took care of the whole meal, making sure to leave the waiter a decent tip. 

They walked back to his car, and he refused to let go of her hand. Leslie’s mind was swimming in a haze of alcohol and adoration for Ben. Something was going to happen tonight between them, even more so then what happened at dinner. She was sure of it.

She was so glad she remembered to pack condoms in her purse.

Once they reached the car, she heard Ben growl impatiently, and he spun around to grab Leslie and pushed her against the door. His hand anchored around her neck and tilting her head up to his, allowing him access to her rosy lips. Without thinking twice, he kissed her, their lips moving together as he pulled her closer.

Leslie was in heaven. Her entire body sparkled with electricity and her arms breaking out in goosebumps. Her hands snaked up and rested on his shoulders, her fingers pressing into his coat.

Ben couldn’t take it anymore; he wanted so much more. He wanted to feel her writhe underneath him; he wanted to taste her, to touch her intimately. The wine mixed with the Xanax made his nerves practically disappear, and there was a calm voice echoing in the back of his mind.

_‘She’s not Cindy. She’s different.’_

Ben pulled away for air. Leslie’s cheeks were flushed and her eyelids fluttered dreamily. He breathed deeply, filling his lungs back up with sweet oxygen and regaining the confidence he needed.

“My place?” he asked, his voice gravelly and full of lust.

Leslie frantically nodded, and Ben yanked the car door open for her, she clambered inside and pulled at the hem of her dress in anticipation. Ben hurried round to the other side and drove off as fast as he possibly could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They reached Ben’s apartment in record time, and the two of them just about managed to keep it in their pants as they walked past the concierge desk and into the elevator. They rode up to the 12th floor with a woman who was going to the 13th; if she weren’t there, they would have ripped each other’s clothes off there and then. 

They reached their destination, and Ben fumbled with the key in his suit pocket. He unlocked the door with shaky hands and grabbed Leslie’s hand, pulling her into his apartment.

He pressed her against the wall, kicking the door close with his foot and crashed down on her lips again, pushing his tongue past her lips and into her mouth. Leslie groaned into him and wrapped her legs around his. Ben took the hint and lifted her up.

She tugged at his suit jacket, and Ben managed to throw it off while holding her up. Leslie was marvelling at his strength; he was narrow framed and slight, but he continued to surprise her at every grind of his hips and every flick of his tongue. 

Leslie’s hand flew to his tie, yanking it off and moving onto the buttons, nimbly pulling them apart one by one. Ben grinned against her mouth. 

“Getting impatient are we?”

Leslie let out a throaty groan. “Fuck me, Ben,” she hissed into his mouth.

She felt him smirk. “Is that what you really want, Ms. Knope?”

“Yes… _Professor_.”

Ben felt his cock strain in his pants. He wasn’t going to last very long at this rate. He set her back down on the ground and took her hand again, leading her into his bedroom and pushing her straight down onto the bed.

His shirt hung off his chest, and he shrugged out of it, he reached down and tugged at the hem of Leslie’s dress, pulling it over her head and revealing her underwear. It was black and lacy and made Ben practically start drooling. 

“Do you like it?” Leslie asked, as she arched her eyebrows teasingly.

Ben didn’t respond; he just climbed on top of her, reaching behind her back and undoing the clasp of her bra. He rubbed the fabric in between his fingers and tossed it on the floor.

“It looks better over there,” he told her, leaning down and taking a pink nipple in his mouth, sucking hard while Leslie moaned and ran her hands into his hair.

“Ben…please.”

He ignored her, kissing a path down her flat stomach and towards her lace panties. He hooked them under his fingers and eased them down her thighs.

She was more than ready for him; she was glistening and soaked with her arousal. It made Ben smirk with pride. He had made her like this. She was coming undone because of him. He had never had a girl be so unbelievably turned on by him before that she was dripping at the sight of him.

“Fuck, Leslie,” he grunted and lowered his head down, sticking his tongue out and taking a long lap at her centre.

Leslie’s hips arched, and she cried out in pleasure as Ben picked up the pace and spread her thighs further apart with his big hands. He then moved two fingers across and slipped them inside her, his lips moving upwards, locating her clit with ease.

Leslie saw stars as her hips bucked upward, pressing into Ben’s face as he worked on her. She screamed as waves of pleasure engulfed her, making her body tingle and buzz with desire.

Her arms fell weakly by her side as Ben moved up, rolling a condom onto his more than ready dick. “Are you ok?” he asked her. “Still with me?”

“Y-yeah,” Leslie managed to gasp out. “Fuck, Ben…that was…”

“Shh,” Ben said to her, lining himself up with her entrance. “I know, I heard it,” he joked.

Leslie managed to muster the strength to slap him on the arm, and Ben chuckled as he leaned down and kissed her again. She could taste herself on his tongue, and she hummed into his mouth as he eased into her.

Leslie moaned loudly as the feeling of Ben filling her up took over. Ben’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he grunted and began to thrust in rhythmic strokes. He rocked his hips into her, and Leslie grabbed at his back, clawing at the bare flesh.

“Fuck…”Ben groaned as he felt his balls burn with passion; he was getting close. He pushed back down onto Leslie’s lips, moaning loudly into her mouth as he felt himself come.

He collapsed on top of her, exhausted and spent. Her trembling hands stilled against his back and her fingers stroked tiny circles against him.

Ben inhaled and rolled off of her, disposing of the condom into the nearby wastebasket. He looked back over at her to make sure she was ok. She looked glorious, her hair spread against his pillow like a halo and her cheeks were flushed pink as she panted, trying to regain her composure. She looked like she had been well and truly fucked.

Her eyes travelled over and met with his brown ones. “Wow…” she stammered. 

“I know,” Ben replied, running his hands along her bare chest. 

“I just…I really need to sleep now.” Leslie admitted with a soft chuckle. Ben was quick to act and wrapped the covers around the both of them.

“Me too,” he told her as he reached forward and kissed her lips for the final time that night.

“Goodnight, Ben,” she whispered as she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

“Goodnight, Leslie. Sleep well,” he murmured, stroking her hair until her breathing steadied, and she dropped into a deep sleep.

She wasn’t Cindy. She was nothing like Cindy. Ben realised that as she cuddled up against his chest, clinging onto him like he was about to leave and never come back. 

She was too pure and innocent. She’d never hurt him.


	10. Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with the next chapter! Thank you all for the comments and kudos so far! Don't forget to comment on this chapter! 
> 
> A huge thanks goes to supervanillabear31 for being my amazing beta!!

A month had passed since Leslie and Ben decided to give things a whirl and go on their first official date, and, ever since then, their relationship had grown so much during that time.

She spent a lot of time over at his place; she was there so often that Ben had given her a drawer of her own to keep clothes in. They had date nights in Indianapolis where they ate dinner, made out in movie theatres, and even went roller-skating.

Apparently, Ben had a thing for women in roller skates, as Leslie found that out that evening when Ben pinned her down underneath him as soon as they got back to his apartment.

Two weeks ago had been hard; Leslie and her friends had booked a trip to Las Vegas before graduation. They had to spend five days away from each other while Leslie drank and partied in Vegas. Leslie had almost tried to cancel the vacation, until Ben told her to not be so silly and go. He even gave her his sweater to keep her warm on the flight and promised to pick her up at the airport.

Ben agreed that it was the hardest five days of his life. It sucked being apart from her after they had only just started dating. Although Leslie tried to make things better for him by sending him sexy pictures of her in a bikini, but Ben would have preferred the real thing.

He was there on Friday at the airport in Indianapolis, ready to pick her up and take her back to his place. He had brought her a bunch of brightly coloured flowers and shifted them anxiously in his hands while he waited for her at the arrivals gate.

There was a loud squeal, and he spun around to see Leslie sprinting towards him with a huge smile on her face. She launched herself at him, pouncing onto his lithe body and wrapping her legs around him, her lips finding his in the madness.

He didn’t care that people were watching them; no one here knew who they were. They just looked like a happy couple who had spent way too much time away from each other.

Both Leslie and Ben were the happiest they had ever been. She was lying in Ben’s bed after she had returned, drawings invisible patterns on his chest. 

“I can’t believe I graduate tomorrow,” Leslie mused to herself. 

Ben, who was dosing with his arms behind his head, opened one eye to look at her. “You’ve worked hard, babydoll,” Ben told her with a sleepy grin. “I’m so proud of you.”

Leslie’s heart somersaulted five times in a row whenever he called her that. Sure, Ben’s pet name for her was a little sappy, but the way it rolled off his tongue made her insides buzz with ethereal electricity.

“You’ll be there, right?” she asked, leaning on her arms to look at Ben.

“Of course I will,” he mumbled. “I kind of have to as your professor; we just have to be careful. Chris will be there, so I’m really sorry that I won’t be able to pick you up and kiss you as soon as you come off that stage.”

Leslie sighed, her head bowing so that her blonde curls cascaded down her face. “I hate this,” she mumbled. “I hate how we can’t act like a couple here. I mean in Indianapolis it’s great, and here is nice because we can cuddle and have sex, but…it feels so weird whenever we get back to Pawnee, and we just have to pretend we don’t know each other.”

Ben opened his eyes fully and sat up, taking Leslie’s hands in his own. “I know it’s hard, but it’s my career, babe. And not just that; it’s also your life. If we get caught, there will probably be some sort of ethics trial. Your grades could be revoked and changed because they might see it as some sort of favouritism…I don’t know what’ll happen. All I know is that it could be bad.”

He sighed as he watched Leslie’s face fall even more. She looked like she was about to cry. “I’m sorry, but we can’t tell people right now; I know that your friends know, but that’s it. Promise?”

Leslie pursed her lips and her eyes gazed up, locking on Ben’s. “Promise.”

She snuggled back down on his chest as Ben fell asleep, but she stayed wide awake. They had never really spoken about the repercussions of their relationship before, and, although this was just a brief conversation, it still hurt.

Because Ben would never hold her hand in public here. He’d never wrap his arm around her while they walked down the street. He’d never kiss her when there were people around. And she craved that so desperately; she craved that romantic attention that she was entitled to. 

But they were still a new couple…at least she thought they were a couple. They hadn’t really spoken about it yet, but the fact that she had basically moved in with him at such an early stage made her think that things were moving in the right direction. Still, he was yet to confirm that they were exclusive, and she could pin that on their situation.

They just had to find a way around that pesky ‘no students dating teachers’ rule.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her gown and cap. Holy shit. This was real. She was graduating today. Four years of immensely hard work had finally paid off. 

She’d get her diploma today and then the world was her oyster.

Donna had come by that morning with a tray of mimosas to share with them. Ann took two and the two best friends toasted their glasses together.

“How do you feel? Nervous?” Ann asked, she was wearing her own gown and cap, along with a beautiful yellow dress underneath that accentuated her tanned skin.

“I’m ok actually,” Leslie said, “I’ve broken these heels in and I’ve tested them several times walking up and down the hall, so I think I’m good to avoid any tripping.”

She was wearing a red dress underneath her gown; it was a subtle nod to Ben, who she’d hoped would notice that she was wearing the colour that he loved her in.

“I didn’t mean about graduation. Your mom will be there, and so will Ben. Are you worried about any…confrontation?” Ann said, with a slight raise to her eyebrows.

Leslie shook her head straight away, “No way! It will be fine. I doubt Ben will even come near me, especially with the rule and everything.”

“Does your mom know about Ben?” Ann asked, sipping her mimosa.

Leslie nodded. “She weaselled it out of me,” she tried to defend herself.

“How did she manage that?”

“Oh, she called me up and asked me if I was dating anyone, and I said yes…”

Ann blinked. “That’s not really weaselling it out of you,” she replied bluntly.

Leslie’s nose creased. “I know, but, still, it’ll be fine. She doesn’t know who my boyfriend is; I can just say he’s not here. Plus, Ben doesn’t know I’ve told her yet.”

“He _doesn’t_?”

“He said we shouldn’t tell anyone else! And you know how my mom can be; she’s so domineering and a little scary. I don’t want her scaring him off, which she’s bound to do. Especially with the age gap and everything,” Leslie explained, dramatically waving her arms around.

Ann rolled her eyes. “I hope you know what you’re doing here, Knope. You’re creating a pretty big web of lies.”

“It’ll be fine!” Leslie said, just as April walked in holding two of Donna’s mimosas. Leslie still thought it a miracle that April was graduating, but her crazy little friend somehow managed to pull through with a grade that almost rivalled hers.

Almost, but not quite.

“Can we get this over with already? I want to go set fire to my graduation gown,” April hissed, as she necked one of the mimosas.

Leslie bounced up and down on her heels excitedly and linked arms with April and Ann. “Alright, ladies; let’s go graduate!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The quad outside the hall where the graduation ceremonies would take place were buzzing with students and parents. Photos were being taken everywhere, and nervous students clung together as they waited to go in to collect their diploma.

Leslie linked her arm around Ann’s as they walked through, searching for their parents. They had already lost April to her very sweet and adorable mother and father; they were so different to April, Leslie made a mental note to ask if she was adopted.

Then again, April was the spitting image of her mother, so she immediately thought otherwise.

Leslie squeaked when she looked up and saw her mother in the crowd. She ran straight over to her and into her arms, Marlene reciprocating and rubbing her daughter’s back affectionately.

“Sweetheart,” Marlene greeted softly, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Leslie said, wiping a few tears from her eyes. “I’m so happy you are here.”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Marlene said as she held her hand. “Plus, I want to finally meet this mysterious man of yours.”

Leslie blushed furiously, “Mom stop! And please don’t make a scene; I know you don’t really approve of the situation, but Ben doesn’t know that you know.”

Just as she those words left her lips, her eyes clocked Ben. He wasn’t too far away and was talking to what Leslie remembered to be the guy April was now hooking up with. As if he sensed she was looking at him, Ben turned briefly to look at her, his mouth turning upwards into a crooked grin, causing Leslie to blush even more.

“Is that him?” Marlene scowled over at Ben’s direction. Leslie was relieved to see Ben had turned away and returned to his conversation with Andy.

“That’s Ben,” Leslie confirmed. “Please don’t do anything, Mom. We’re still working out everything. I don’t want him getting all freaked out because you don’t like the age gap.”

“I don’t,” Marlene said bluntly. “I don’t like it one bit, but you seem happy, and as much as I wish I didn’t approve of this situation, I like seeing you like this.”

Leslie smiled softly. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, dear.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ceremony was just as Leslie expected. There was a lot of sitting around while the students went up one by one to get their diplomas. There were tears from some students and only two of them tripped over on their way up.

It finally reached Leslie’s turn after what felt like an eternity. It was all in alphabetical order, so Ann was way at the back with the rest of the ‘P’s. April was kind of near her, but not close enough to talk to. She was spending the entire ceremony texting Andy, who seemed to be getting on very well with April’s parents.

Leslie just wished that could have been her mom and Ben. Talking like that and getting on so well.

She slowly climbed the steps up to the stage, ready to receive her diploma, taking a deep breath in she walked the scary few steps over to the centre. There, Professor Traeger handed her the diploma and shook her hand; Leslie couldn’t help but feel a bubbling hatred for him as she looked at his symmetrical face.

‘You’re the reason we can’t act like a normal couple,’ a spiteful voice hissed bitterly inside Leslie’s head.

She shook it off and looked out to the crowd. There was her mom, applauding her as she walked towards the end of the stage. Near the front with the rest of the professors was Ben; he watched her every moment, and Leslie suddenly felt very exposed. It was like he was undressing her there and then, the lust in his eyes mixed with pride was unmistakable. 

It suddenly hit her how much she desperately needed a drink.

The ceremony continued for another two hours, and then all the students and parents were free to celebrate. Waiters walked around the reception hall with trays filled with canapés and champagne, and Leslie felt at ease again.

She was half listening to Ann’s father talking to Marlene about life in Michigan when Leslie felt something brush behind her, nudging her slightly.

She looked over at what touched her and saw Ben walking away from her. He turned over his shoulder and smirked at her, giving her a look that said ‘come here now.’

Leslie quickly excused herself from the conversation, claiming she needed another drink and hurried after him, trying to keep a good distance to not make it look too obvious.

Ben turned the corner into an empty lecture hall that should have been locked at this time, considering there were no lectures. Leslie quickly followed him, closing the door behind her.

“Can I help you?” she asked cheekily, once she had made her way into the lecture hall. 

Ben grinned at her as he walked over and ran a hand down her arm and resting on her hip. “I’m so proud of you, babydoll. I just wanted to tell you that.”

Leslie felt a cold heat spread in her face and throughout her body. Her hands automatically reached out without her instructing to do so, resting on his shoulder as she got up on tippy toes and pressed her lips against his, kissing him as ferociously as she could.

Ben groaned against her and wrapped his arms around her back, his tongue running along her lower lip, instructing Leslie to part her lips for him to enter.

His hands were moving down from her hip and tugging at the hem of her dress; his fingers snaked underneath the fabric and stroked her bare thigh as she wrapped one leg around his waist, pressing into his growing erection.

“Well, well. What do we have here?”

Ben and Leslie split apart in an instant when they heard the voice. It was the voice that Leslie dreaded, the tone alone telling her she was in huge trouble.

Marlene was standing in the hall, the door closed behind her. Her arms were folded against her chest, an eyebrow raised in disgust.

“M-mom,” Leslie stammered out. “What are you-”

“Ben, I presume?” Marlene interrupted, stepping forward and offering her hand out for Ben to shake. “I’ve wanted to meet the man who’s been courting my daughter for some time now.”

Ben looked from Leslie to Marlene frantically, Leslie could see the anger deep in his eyes; she wasn’t supposed to tell her, but she couldn’t help it. Her mom needed to know. They were too close for her to keep secrets.

He cleared his throat, eyes darting back to Marlene and took her hand, shaking it gently. “It’s…a pleasure to meet you, Ms Knope.”

“That’s Ms Griggs-Knope to you,” Marlene quipped, taking her hand away. “A limp handshake. That’s not good a for a man.”

Leslie watched as Ben’s cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson. She reached over, trying to take Ben’s hand but he quickly jerked it away.

“Leslie, dear, I’ve booked a table for your graduation lunch in half an hour,” Marlene said, her voice stern and cold.

Leslie quickly nodded and Ben hurried towards the door.

“Well, don’t let me keep you. Have a wonderful meal you two.” Ben stammered out as he went to hold the door open for them.

“Who said anything about us two having a meal? It’s your lucky day; it’s a table for three. I thought we should have a little chat about what your intentions are with my daughter,” Marlene hissed, almost squaring up to Ben, asserting her dominance.

Ben practically cowered away while Leslie shot Marlene an angry glare. But Marlene was smirking. She knew exactly what she was doing; she wanted to give Ben the worst experience ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, how old exactly are you?” Marlene asked once the wine arrived. Ben immediately took a big gulp knowing that he would need copious amounts of alcohol to get him through this.

Marlene had driven them to a fancy restaurant in Indianapolis; the car ride over was probably one of the most awkward moments of Ben’s life. He was in the back, and, when Leslie tried to join him in the back seat, Marlene ordered her to join her up front.

“I’m…32,” Ben mumbled, swallowing the mouthful of white wine.

“32,” Marlene repeated, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Ben. “Ten whole years older then my daughter.”

Leslie squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “I told you that, Mom,” she tried to defend them both.

“You did,” Marlene nodded, “I just wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

Ben cleared his throat anxiously, wishing he’d taken some of his Xanex before he left this morning; he was in desperate need of something to relax him. Right now, he just had to cope with the wine.

“How did you meet?” Marlene continued, sipping her drink while not taking her eyes off Ben.

“I was a professor for some of Leslie’s classes,” Ben started. “One day, we were at an art exhibit, and we went out for coffee afterwards, and, ever since then, I was captivated by this beautiful young woman.”

“Young is the correct word,” Marlene said as she pursed her lips. “So are all your previous conquers ten years your junior, or have you only just started being a cradle snatcher.”

“ _Mom_!” Leslie hissed angrily, looking around her to make sure no one was listening. 

Ben felt anger bubbling inside of him. “With all due respect, Ms Griggs-Knope, quite frankly I think you are being rude.”

“Do you now?”

“Yeah, I do,” Ben said, feeling confidence searing through his veins. “Because I adore Leslie with all of my heart. Sure there’s an age difference, but that won’t stop us. We really like each other; she’s my girlfriend, and, even though the situation we are in right now isn’t ideal, one day it might be. And I’m not going to stand for you making me feel bad for making your daughter happy.”

Leslie stared at Ben with her mouth dropped open, he had said it; she was his girlfriend. She wasn’t sure if he had said it in a panic to get her mom off his chest, but it came out of his mouth, and the way he looked right now was borderline pornographic. He was flushed, and his knuckles clenched as he stood his ground against the terrifying force that was her mother. 

As if by magic, like a wild beast being tamed, Marlene softened. She leaned over to Leslie direction with an approving smile.

“I think I like this one,” she grinned. “He’s tough.”

Leslie stared at her mother, and then she was overcome by a series of hysterical giggles. She was testing him; she wanted to see him defend himself for her. Oh boy did she owe her mother a lot.

Marlene looked back over at Ben. “Now that we’ve gotten that over and done with, are you going to tell me how long you’ve been in teaching for?”

Ben was in a state of shock by the whole situation. He took another large swig of wine and cleared his throat again. “Well… I studied to be a teacher…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe as she watched Ben change out of his suit. He had been quiet the entire journey back after the meal, which made Leslie nervous.

They ended up having a great time despite the sheer awfulness at the beginning. Ben and Marlene seemed to get on very well, and, when Marlene said goodbye to the couple, she gave Leslie a wink, which was basically her seal of approval.

But Ben was mad; she could tell. She wasn’t supposed to tell her mother. He asked her not to tell anyone else. But did he really expect her not to tell her own mother? Had he told his parents? It seemed like something every child should tell his or her family.

She took a tentative step into the bedroom, Ben still not looking at her as she walked towards the bed and anxiously sat down.

“Are you mad at me?”

Ben didn’t reply.

Leslie swallowed nervously. This was going nowhere. She pushed herself straight back off the bed and took careful steps towards Ben.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him. Ben stilled, Leslie could feel him taking a sharp intake of breath. “I’m sorry,” She said again. “I shouldn’t have told my Mom. But I thought it would be ok. I can’t not hide this from her, especially since you called me your girlfriend.”

She felt two hands finally reach up and grasped her hands. It was a quick motion as Ben spun her in his arms, so that he was now hugging her.

“You are my girlfriend,” he told her as he held her close. “Is that ok?”

Leslie couldn’t help but let a small smile ghost her lips. “It’s more than ok. I didn’t think you thought of me like that. I’m happy and proud to call you my boyfriend too.”

Ben ran his hands up and down her back as Leslie buried into his chest, taking in his warm scent of cinnamon and spice. “I’m so sorry about today,” she mumbled for the umpteenth time. 

“Don’t apologise. It was me being an ass. I was just a little surprised. I didn’t think your mom was going to be that domineering, especially since you are so sweet and adorable, a little stubborn, but adorable no less,” Ben said as he ran his finger through her blonde curls.

“She likes you though,” Leslie cut in. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but she does like you.” 

Ben grunted and shook his head. “Are you sure? I was a little flustered during that whole meal. I’m surprised I didn’t do anything stupid.”

“You defended yourself and me, and she appreciated that. I think she wants me to find someone who she can trust in taking care of me,” Leslie explained as the two of them finally found their way back to the bed.

“You don’t need anyone looking after you,” Ben said as he rested his hand against her hip. “You’re Leslie Knope. You can stand on your own two feet.” 

Leslie giggled and snuggled into Ben’s chest. “But I quite like having you around despite that.”

Ben grinned and then gasped. “Oh! In the excitement of today I never gave you your graduation present.”

Leslie bolted up and gawped at Ben. “You got me a present? Where is it?”

She watched as Ben chuckled and reached over into his bedside drawer, pulling out an envelope and handing it over to Leslie. She was so exited she practically tore it open into pieces. Once she got to the contents, she stared at it and squealed loudly.

“Belize? We’re going to freaking Belize?”

“You said you wanted to go scuba diving, right? Well, tomorrow you need to pack your bags because we fly out Saturday,” Ben said, his trademark, crooked grin etching on his face.

Leslie couldn’t contain her excitement anymore; she pounced on his face, kissing him with all the affection and adoration she could muster. Her tongue rubbed against his lip, and Ben grinned against her mouth.

He pulled her underneath him, and Leslie squeaked in delight. “That was part one of your present; you are about to get part two now,” Ben growled as he kissed and nipped down her thighs.

And Leslie had to agree, as stars burst in her eyes while Ben was buried in between her thighs, that this was one of the most confusing but greatest days of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking prompts for this universe so feel free to come send me your ideas and prompts on tumblr: @sakurablossomstorm-blog


	11. Belize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 11! I hope you all enjoy it! And thank you all so much for the comments and the kudos so far, they really do make my day so don't forget to leave them!
> 
> A huge thanks goes to my lovely beta supervanillabear31 for all your kind words and help!

“Alright, you’ve got enough clothes to last a month packed away, even though you’re only going for a week,” Ann said as she sorted through the last of Leslie’s attire.

It was the day before Leslie and Ben’s trip to Belize. And she and Ann had spent all morning packing Leslie’s suitcase, making sure she had everything she would need. They went shopping yesterday, and Leslie bought a new red bikini that she looked great in; she would most definitely get some attention from Ben in it.

She had also bought some new perfume, some pretty sundresses and plenty of condoms. 

She knew she’d get some use out of those.

“I don’t know. I still think I need more,” Leslie mumbled as she sifted through her case. “Maybe more pleated skirts.”

“No. No more skirts,” Ann said. “You’ve packed enough already. You could maybe do with another nice dress or two. I mean, if he’s taking you to Belize after a few months together, he’d probably take you out to a few fancy meals.”

Leslie agreed. Ben had been practically throwing money away, taking Leslie out for nice meals and trips to Indianapolis. She always tried to pay for something, but Ben refused, telling her she was a new graduate and needed to keep her money.

He was wonderful, so doting and caring, but their relationship was still a secret. But in Belize they’d be able to hold hands and kiss in public with no concern of being caught.

Leslie walked back over to her wardrobe, stepping over her suitcase in the centre of the room and pulling out two dresses, one baby blue chiffon dress and the other a purple laced number.

“What do you think?” Leslie asked, holding the two dressed up for Ann to see.

Ann hummed for a second and then pointed towards the blue dress. “That one. The purple one looks too fussy considering it will probably be spending a lot of the time on the floor.”

Leslie blushed and nudged Ann playfully. Donna, who was sat in the corner of the room flicking through a copy of Vogue, grinned.

“She’s got a point,” Donna retorted. “That guys so hung up on you I wouldn’t be surprised if you never went outside for the entire trip.”

Since graduation, Leslie, Ann, Donna and April had all moved into a small house in the centre of Pawnee. Although Leslie spent most of her time with Ben, she still liked coming back to her place and hanging out with her friends.

And they were all coming in pretty handy right now as they helped Leslie prep for her vacation.

“Have you shaved?” Donna asked.

Leslie looked up and frowned. “Oh…well not yet. I was going to do it tonight. Legs and bikini line, right?”

Donna raised an eyebrow “Oh no, honey. You’ll want to do pits, legs, bikini line, pubes, everywhere. You’ll need be hairless by the time you get on that plane. Typhoon will fit you in for an all body waxing if we go now.”

Leslie winced a little; she had just planned on shaving to get her body ready for her vacation. But waxing was painful. And Typhoon had little sympathy when he waxed. She had been to Typhoon’s beauty parlour once before with Donna and Ann for a day of pampering, and she nearly cried in agony as he ripped the waxing strips from her skin.

“Suck it up, sweetie,” he had snapped at her. “No pain, no gain.”

But Donna seemed adamant. “You’ll thank me later,” she told her, and grabbed Leslie’s hand, escorting her out of the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie arrived at Ben’s place in the evening. Donna dropped her off after their waxing session, and everything throbbed. She dragged her suitcase into the lobby and grimaced every time she moved her legs. 

Why did she let Donna talk her into doing this? Typhoon basically mutilated her entire body, ridding her of any unwanted hair on her eyebrows, under her armpits, and around her bikini line. It was an hour of pure torture.

And now her jeans rubbed along her sore skin, and she just wanted to shrug them off and into a warm soothing bath to calm her angry skin. She clambered into the elevator and pressed the button to take her to the 12th floor. 

She dragged her case to Ben’s door and rapped twice on it. He was there in an instance, beaming happily at her and immediately taking her case for her and leading her inside.

“How was your day?” he asked, kissing her hands softly and then pressing his lips to hers before she had the chance to respond.

“Okay, I guess,” Leslie mumbled, wrinkling her nose. “I’m all packed, but then Donna took me to the beauty salon to be…” she coughed and swallowed, “waxed. All over. She said it needed to be done, but I’m so sore.”

She jutted out her bottom lip and pouted. Ben guided her over to the couch and sat her down. Memories came back to Leslie of the first time she sat on his couch. Well…actually she passed out on it. But, still, they had come so far since that night, and their relationship was growing stronger by the minute.

“Where did they wax?” Ben asked, his thumb rubbing along her hand.

“Everywhere! Look at my eyebrows! They’ve just been an angry red since I left that place, and they did my bikini line. Donna said everyone in Belize would be all trimmed, and I should be too, but it hurt so badly, Ben. I’m never doing it ever, ever again!” Leslie whimpered and curled into his lap.

Ben chuckled softly and stroked her hair “Good. You don’t have to go through all that pain if you don’t want to. You know I think you are beautiful anyway.”

Leslie sniffed and nuzzled into his lap “Thank you.”

“What would make you happy?” He asked. “Do you want to get into bed? Do you want to eat?”

“A bath,” Leslie quickly answered. “I want a bath.”

Ben shifted Leslie off his lap so he could stand. “Your wish is my command m’dear.” He gave a mock bow and took off for the bathroom.

“And I want you to join me,” Leslie called after him.

“What did you think I was going to do?” Ben retorted. “Just watch you?”

Leslie grinned and lay back down on the couch, listening as she heard the faucet running in the background, filling up the bathtub with warm water that she had been begging for all day.

How did she get so lucky? She had a wonderful, amazing boyfriend who was going to take her to Belize tomorrow and who was currently running a bath to take care of her. 

She pressed her nose against the pillows on his sofa, taking in his comforting scent. Tomorrow, she’d be on a plane but unlike her trip to Vegas. She wouldn’t need Ben’s sweater to keep her comfortable; she’d had the real thing next to her.

Leslie wasn’t sure how long she had been daydreaming for, but Ben soon re-appeared. He offered her his hand and helped her up. “Your bath awaits,” he said with a smirk.

“Thank you, kind sir. Will yonder doth take my clotheseth off too?” Leslie asked, causing Ben to throw back his head and laugh loudly.

She loved it when he laughed like that.

“What was that? You know what, I don’t want to know, but be thankful you weren’t an English Language major,” Ben chuckled as he led Leslie into the bathroom. She was instantly hit with the most wonderful smell of lavender bath oils and vanilla scented candle.

“Oh, Ben.”

“Only the best for my girl,” Ben grinned as he unbuttoned Leslie’s jeans. “Now let’s get you out of these clothes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest night seemed to fly by. Ben joined Leslie in the bath, although not much bathing seemed to take place. Once Leslie was butt naked, Ben soon realised that he couldn’t keep his hands off her and wanted to explore her newly waxed body.

He cooked a mac and cheese pizza for dinner, which earned him a long make out session from Leslie, and, soon enough, the pair were snuggled in his warm bed, trying to get some sleep to get to their vacation faster.

Well…Ben managed to sleep; Leslie couldn’t. She lay against Ben’s chest listening to his rhythmic breathing and thinking in anticipation about the amazing vacation she was about to embark on with her sexy professor boyfriend.

She briefly mentioned on a date night with him that she had always wanted to go scuba diving in Belize, and that one day when she had money she would go. Ben must’ve taken note and remembered, and he earned serious points for doing so.

But the best thing about this vacation is that they could walk along the beach hand in hand. He could kiss her after dinner and not glance over his shoulder just in case someone was there that they’d know. Best of all, they could share the same sunbed, cuddled up and making out without a care in the world.

Because they could be a couple in love…Well, she knew she loved Ben. They hadn’t exactly said that to each other just yet, but it had been almost three months, and their relationship was just been an amazing hot mess. But those three little words remained unspoken.

She traced patterns on his chest as she thought, not realising that those tiny little actions woke Ben from his slumber. He grunted and smacked his lips together as he opened a bleary eye.

“L’slie?” he grumbled. “Go sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. I’m too excited!” Leslie whispered back.

Ben wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. “The sooner you go to sleep, the faster it will come.”

Leslie gave a defeated sigh and snuggled against his chest again. “Alright, I’ll try.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie didn’t go back to sleep. In fact, she stayed awake for the next few hours until Ben’s alarm sounded, telling them that they had an hour to get up and get ready before their taxi took them to the airport

When Ben’s alarm went off at 4:30 AM, Leslie bounded straight out of bed excitedly. It took Ben a little longer to wake, and Leslie had to coax him out with a cup of strong coffee. But soon the pair were in the taxi on the way to the airport. 

Ben laced his fingers with Leslie’s as he dosed on the ride over. Leslie, however, was so thrilled she stared out of the window, watching buildings flash by as she counted down the seconds before she’d be on that plane.

It was going to be a long day. They would fly first from Indianapolis to Houston, and then change onwards to Belize. The travelling would take about five hours in total, but it was so worth it. Leslie had packed several political biographies in her hand luggage, and she’d be sure to buy plenty of candy before getting on the plane. She knew Ben would probably sleep through the entire flight so she had to be prepared to occupy herself.

It took about an hour to get to the airport, but soon Leslie and Ben were through security and waiting in the boarding lounge to go. Ben had perked up a little more after his second coffee of the morning, and Leslie was buzzing from the pack of Red Vines she had eaten. Her leg bounced up and down as the sugar coursed through her body, and Ben had to put his hand on her knee to stop.

“I’m sorry,” Leslie babbled energetically. “I’m just really excited.”

Ben grinned and placed a kiss on her lips, “I know; me too.”

They were halfway through the flight to Houston when Leslie crashed. Sleep took over with a brutal force, and her head fell against Ben’s shoulder, a neck pillow placed adorably around her that she was currently drooling on. Ben just grinned and kissed the top of her head as he turned his attention back to his novel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Leslie? Time to wake up,” Ben said, trying to shake Leslie awake.

She grunted and opened a bleary eye “Whas happening?”

“We’ve landed. We need to get off the plane and make our connection,” Ben explained, holding out a hand for Leslie to take.

Leslie stood up, removing her neck pillow and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “God, how long was I asleep for?”

“Maybe an hour?” Ben shrugged. He took Leslie’s luggage from the overhead compartment and pulled it over his shoulder as he escorted his sleepy girlfriend from the plane.

The lack of sleep and the sugar crash was making Leslie super cranky, and she whined as they made their way through the airport to their next flight; this one would take them all the way to Belize.

“Come on,” Ben coaxed as he practically dragged Leslie towards the gate. “The sooner we get on the flight, the sooner you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t need to sleep, I just want to sit down,” Leslie groaned.

“Yes, you do need sleep. You’re cranky.”

“I’m _not_ cranky!”

Ben chuckled at Leslie’s statement, and he cuddled her close. “We’re so close, babydoll. Hang in there.”

She just growled and buried her head into his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow.”

“You like it?”

“I…wow.”

Ben wrapped his arms around Leslie’s waist as they looked out at the view. He felt a rush of pride and happiness bolt through him as Leslie marvelled at the view from their hotel room. It was beautiful, a cute little hut that opened up onto the beach. There were two sun loungers on the beach for the both of them and, the warm sun beat down on the waves as they lazily hugged the shore.

“This is amazing,” Leslie said as she turned in his arm. “But this must be super expensive. How much-”

“No,” Ben quickly said, pressing a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry about that. You deserve this. You’ve worked so hard, and I wanted to give you a present that you’ll remember forever.”

Leslie pulled him back into her chest, missing the warmth that he provided despite the heat pouring in from outside. “Thank you, Ben. Thank you so much for this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ben told her as he kissed her. “And we are going to have a great vacation.”

His grip tightened around her, and he picked her up with ease, tossing her back down on the bed while Leslie squealed in surprise. He crawled over her, his eyes darkening with lust.

“How about we christen our hotel bed?” Ben murmured as he ran his hand down the side of her face, sending shivers down Leslie’s spine.

“B-but there’s so much to see,” Leslie gasped out, as Ben lifted her shirt and kissed her neck. It was turning into early evening and there was still so much Leslie wanted to do. She wanted to walk along the beach and maybe get a cocktail, and check out the local stores and sightseeing spots. There was so much to do, and Ben wanted to stay in bed?

But as he nipped a trail down her neck and towards her breasts, she suddenly realised that this was a perfect idea.

“We can start tomorrow. But I’m tired, baby,” Ben said in between kisses. “I just about have the energy to fuck you, and maybe order room service. But after that I just want to sleep. All the tours and sightseeing starts tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to do this.”

He pulled down Leslie’s bra and latched on to her nipple, tugging at it with his teeth, making Leslie moan softly and her back rise from the bed. He pushed her back down into place, wanting to feel her writhe under his hand.

Leslie made him turn almost feral. He was exhausted. He had been awake since the early hours of the morning, and travelling really took it out of him. But all that didn’t matter when he tugged at Leslie’s pants and peeled her underwear off. Sleep would be there in twenty minutes time.

He heard Leslie suck air in as he kissed her entrance, taking in her scent and wetness. God, she was always so ready for him; he loved it. His tongue touched her clit, and she gasped again.

“Ben,” she groaned. His name leaving her lips in a breathy moan drove him wild. He couldn’t hide his smirk as he felt her squirm under his hand. He increased the pressure on her stomach, holding her down as he devoured her centre.

She came screaming into the evening, grinding against Ben’s face and gripping onto his hair. She saw stars and galaxies as her orgasm fluttered to an end.

Ben sat up, wiping his mouth and crawling back up for a kiss. Leslie leaned up, attacking his mouth with her own and tasting herself on his lips. She grinned as she heard him moan against her mouth.

Their clothes were pulled off, and Leslie reached up to pull down his boxers, letting his hard cock spring free. Leslie bit her lower lip as her hand wandered towards his dick, taking it and pumping hard. Ben’s head lolled back as he exhaled with a breathy sigh.

He felt hard and thick, and Leslie was almost salivating at the sight and feel of him. She leaned down, kissing the tip and then taking him into her mouth.

“Fuck,” Ben growled loudly. She was going to be the death of him, he was sure, but at least he’d die happy.

His hand fisted into her hair, tugging at the strands with a gentle pull. This seemed to spur Leslie on a little, and she looked up at him as she went down further, Ben resisting every urge to not thrust into her mouth and choke her.

She felt amazing around his dick, her lips hot and wet, driving him mad with every touch. He knew that if she continued like this he wouldn’t last long. He could feel a cold heat scalding his balls and the tops of his thighs shake.

“Les,” he choked out, and she looked back up at him. She took in his expression and knew that this was enough. Plus she wanted to feel him inside her. She loved his tongue glazing over her clit, and she loved his dick in her mouth, but nothing beat the feeling of him inside of her.

She let Ben’s dick go with a soft pop and rested back down on her elbow. Ben regained his composure and leaned over the side of the bed, retrieving a box of condoms and rolling on onto his dick and climbed on top of her, lining himself up with her.

“How’s the vacation going so far, Ms. Knope?” he asked with an arrogant grin.

“It’s going…ah…good,” she gasped out as Ben pushed inside her. Her legs wrapped around his back, and her heels dug into his ass, pushing him in as far as he would go. “Professor.”

Ben growled, and his teeth sunk gently into her shoulder. Fuck, she really needed to stop doing that. It drove him wild; it was like a crazy sex fantasy coming to life. The graduate student and the professor, so forbidden but so perfect.

His thrusts grew erratic, and Leslie moaned loudly, her fingers clinging into his sweaty hair, spurring him on until he let out a few shaky grunts and unloaded into her. 

Ben buried into the crook of her neck as his heart pounded so hard he could almost feel it trying to burst out of his chest. He could have fallen asleep here, inside of her and wrapped around her. But he hadn’t noticed the sticky heat until now, and needed some space to cool down. 

With the last of his energy, he rolled off her onto the empty space of the comfy bed and pulled the condom off, tossing it into a nearby trashcan. 

Leslie pushed the hair out of her face and cuddled into Ben’s chest. He welcomed her, stroking her back and kissing her forehead, nose, every part of her face that he could find.

“You’re wonderful,” Ben whispered, and Leslie’s heart fluttered.

For a moment she thought that Ben was going to say it, those three little words that she longed to hear. She looked up at him; her baby blue eyes filled with hope, but sank when she saw Ben’s eyes closed tight and fast asleep.

Leslie tried not to feel sad. They spent the whole day travelling, and she knew that he was tired. She tugged the blanket up around their bodies and stared up at the ceiling fan, lazily spinning above her.

Maybe tomorrow, she thought as she drifted into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben watched as Leslie leaned forward, taking a sip of her fruity, sugary sweet cocktail, relishing in the coolness from it, and lying back down on the sunbed.

She was beautiful, that red bikini looked wondrous on her, and he couldn’t help but ogle her as she bathed in the sun.

“You know,” Ben said, swinging his legs off his own bed and facing her. “This beach also allows topless sunbathing.”

Leslie lowered her sunglasses and grinned cheekily at Ben, In the blink of an eye, she whipped off her bikini top and threw it over her shoulder.

Ben’s eyes widened in surprise. Ok he was teasing her, and he certainly didn’t expect that. But he didn’t complain as Leslie turned over onto her front, kicking her legs up behind her and smirking at Ben.

Once she finished that drink he would be sweeping her up into his arms again and carrying her back to their hotel room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you think?” Ben asked as he watched Leslie chew.

She hummed every now and then and finally swallowed her mouthful. “Holy cow! That’s tasty,” she cried out after what felt like an eternity.

Ben grinned and tucked into his own dish. Lobster was the special in the beachside restaurant that night, and Leslie piped up saying that she had never tried lobster before. The waiter gaped at her and told her that he insisted she ordered it, and he would make sure that it would be the best thing that she had ever put in her mouth.

Ben begged to differ at that, but Leslie agreed to try it.

Two lobsters were grilled and served to Ben and Leslie, and he watched eagerly as she took her first bite of the shellfish. Earlier at the beach, she was glowing in the sunlight; now she was radiant in the moonlight. Dressed in a beautiful blue dress that matched her eyes and black heels that made her a tiny bit taller than usual, but not too much. 

“So is it the best thing you’ve ever had in your mouth?” Ben asked with a smirk.

Leslie reached over and smacked his arm playfully. “Stop it,” she blushed, but her smile matched his.

Ben took the bottle of champagne that was cooling in an ice bucket by the table and topped up Leslie’s glass, and she immediately lifted it up to toast.

Ben licked his lips. “This is the fifth toast you’ve made today,” he teased.

“I know. I’m just having a great time,” Leslie told him, and Ben reciprocated, clinking the two glasses together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think I burned,” Leslie moaned as she tried to glance at her reflection.

It had been another day of lounging in the sun, and they had just made it back to their hut on the beach when Leslie noticed the angry red burns on her back.

Ben inspected them and tutted. “Yeah, a little. I should have put more sunscreen on you.”

“It’s fine,” Leslie waved him off. “I should have been more careful too.”

“Come here,” Ben said as he led her towards the bed. He pulled off her beach cover and took off her bikini top. Leslie laid down on her front while Ben grabbed some aloe from the bathroom.

“This will help,” he said, pressing a delicate kiss to the sunburn, and rubbing the soothing moisturiser into her back.

Leslie let out a moan. It was pained, but Ben could hear her sighs that he loved to hear in bed. 

“Do we have time before our reservation tonight?” Leslie asked from her position.

Ben grinned, “Maybe later. We need to let this dry. But I like your thinking.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie was almost bouncing out of her seat as the boat took them further out to the ocean. She had wanted to do this for so long, and now Ben had given her the chance to go scuba diving.

He laced his fingers with hers and kissed her cheek, and she smiled softly at him as she looked around, eagerly waiting to get to their destination and finally go under water.

“You two are adorable,” a woman piped up, causing the couple to look up and smile at her. “How long have you been together for?”

Leslie looked at Ben for confirmation. She knew the answer, but she didn’t want to jump the gun in case he came out with that they had only just started dating.

“Four months,” Ben said, as he pulled Leslie closer to him.

The woman smiled again and leaned in closer to Leslie “He’s a catch,” she beamed at him, and Leslie felt a blush tinge her cheeks.

She knew that; of course she knew that. No ordinary man would take her to Belize and to go scuba diving. Ben was one of a kind.

And as the instructor helped them into their gear, Ben’s hand never left Leslie’s once, even under the water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The vacation was a thing of dreams. The weather in Belize was perfect. Scuba diving the day before had been magical and Leslie had managed to get so many beautiful pictures on her underwater camera, and their relationship was going from strength to strength.

Things were going so perfectly that Ben should have known something was going to go wrong. It always had to.

Ben woke up at 3am on their fourth night in Belize, his heart hammering in his chest like it might burst. His breathing was shallow, and he felt like he might be sick.

Because Leslie was here. Perfect, beautiful, wonderful Leslie, who adored him, and would light up every time he walked into the room. She was full of life, and he had demons threatening to eat him whole with every step he took.

The voices came back, screaming at him that he wasn’t good enough for her, and that she was laughing at him behind his back. He was a fraud, and Ice Town still rode on his shoulders, even after all these years.

He could hear his father telling him that he was no son of his. He could see Cindy pointing and jeering at him, telling him he’d never be good enough for her. His chest tightened, and sweat poured down his face.

Ben just about managed to summon the strength to push himself out of bed and to the toilet just in time. Vomit bubbled in his throat and he hung his head over the toilet bowl, spewing out his dinner and the wine he had to accompany it.

It just kept coming. There was no release from the panic or nausea as he stayed crumpled on the floor, silent tears streaming down his face. There would never be a release from this. He’d feel like this for as long as he lived.

And he needed to tell Leslie. Needed to tell her to run, and to leave him. He was a loser, a failure, someone who would never be able to keep it together for her; he’d never be able to provide her with a home and stability. He was just showering her with gifts and vacations because he wanted her to like him. This whole vacation was nothing but a sham.

He was the Ice Clown; he’d never be anything but the Ice Clown.

“Ben?”

He rose his head from the toilet bowl and shuddered. Leslie was standing in the doorway wearing her adorable pyjamas that were printed with hearts. She could have worn anything else, lacy negligee that accentuated her curves, but she knew that Ben liked her in these, and he liked how comfortable they made her feel.

“Are you okay? Were you being sick?” Leslie asked concerned.

“I’m fine,” Ben managed to choke out, trying to wave her back out of the room. “Just…go back to sleep.”

“I won’t be able to sleep if you’re in here puking your guts out,” Leslie told him. She started rummaging around their medicine supplies they bought just in case.

“Why don’t you take some aspirin? It might help with the food poisoning?” Leslie suggested as she pulled some out and tried to hand them to him.

“It’s not food poisoning,” Ben stammered, feeling his cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

“Are you sure? I think it might be? Don’t worry, I’m going to call that restaurant and give them a piece of my mind! Fancy serving uncooked chicken at-”

“Leslie, stop!” Ben cried out, tears streaming down his face. “Just stop, please.”

Leslie froze, her eyes wide as she watched Ben break in front of her. He was crying. Ben never cried. She had never seen him like this before. But right now her mature, perfect boyfriend was crumbling like a destroyed tower; bringing all the insecurities she had never seen before to the surface.

She edged around the toilet warily, trying to get closer to him without provoking another outburst. “Ben, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

Ben could speak. Words failed him; all he could do was point shakily to his toiletries bag. Leslie grabbed it from the counter and handed it to him. She then watched as a trembling hand managed to dive out a small orange bottle, and he poured two of the capsules into his hands, knocking them into his mouth and swallowing. 

“Water,” he finally managed to choke out, and Leslie hurried out of the bathroom, retrieving a bottle from their mini fridge. She passed it over, and Ben drank it like it was his first drink in months.

Leslie picked up the pill bottle as he was drinking the water and checked the label, her lips parted as she read it.

“Xanax?”

Ben was trying to compose himself; he was slumped over on the closed toilet seat, taking deep breathes as his panic attack passed. He managed to look up at her and sigh.

“I knew you took one of these before our date because you were nervous but…do you rely on them?” Leslie asked, her face etched with concern.

Ben’s eyes found her and swallowed the last of the water. “I think we need to talk,” he mumbled.

Unsteadily, he stood up from the toilet, and walked back into their bedroom. Leslie anxiously following him. He sat down on the bed and ran his hands along the tops of his thighs as he tried to find the words to explain everything to her. Leslie watched his every movement, her own heart pounding in her chest as her boyfriend tried to piece everything back together.

“I’m not good enough for you,” Ben finally gasped out. “I’ve…I’ve done some shit that I’m not proud of and…it still affects me.”

Leslie took a shaky breath inward. “What did you do?”

“I…ran for mayor when I was eighteen in my home town. I was elected and bankrupted the entire place. I was impeached. Everyone hated me; I brought nothing but shame to my family. I became depressed, and I was put in therapy…and on medication. Stronger than this,” he gestured to the Xanax bottle that Leslie was still holding.

“My dad disowned me. He doesn’t want to know me, I haven’t spoken to him in almost twelve years. I haven’t been home in years. My mom calls me all the time and tells me to visit, but I can’t…I just can’t.” Ben felt the nausea creep up again, and his hands trembled.

Then something happened. Leslie’s hand reached over and took one of his hands in hers, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles soothingly. Ben swallowed and continued.

“I did it because…of Cindy Eckert. She was my crush at the time…and I loved her. She thought I was nothing, and I wanted to impress her so badly so…she basically dared me to run and my reward would be her affection,” Ben licked his chapped lips. “She ruined my life…and I let her all because I just cared about her so much and wanted to have someone love me!”

The tears started again, pouring down his face, and Leslie squeezed his hand reassuringly. 

“I…I swore to myself that night that I would never ever let anyone get that close again. But here I am again,” he chuckled, but it wasn’t a light-hearted laugh that Leslie was used to; it was almost psychotic.

“I’m here…taking a girl who is ten years younger than me to Belize because I’m in love with her… and I’m a fraud who can’t even hold it together for a week,” he gasped out, the tears coming on stronger, and he started hiccupping.

Leslie shot out of her seat, enveloping Ben in a bone crushing hug, cupping the back of his head and kissing his forehead sweetly. She whispered sweet nothings to him as he cried against her, clinging onto her pyjama top and howling.

It took a while, but finally Leslie felt him shift under her grasp. She sat back on the bed, a thumb reaching up and rubbing the last of his tears away. She then placed her hands on his shoulder, pressing her forehead against his.

“Ben. Never say that again. You are not a failure. You’ve accomplished so much. You’ve helped so many students by teaching them and helping them graduate with the grades they want. You are so much more than what you make out to be. Sure you’ve done some crap in your past, but I don’t care. In fact I respect you for managing to win an election. That is amazing,” Leslie relayed off, all while keeping her hands on Ben’s shoulders, reassuring him that everything was ok.

“And you said you loved me,” Leslie said, letting a smile spread across her face. “I love you too, Ben. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that. I was so scared of saying it first in case you would have thought it was too soon. But I love you, Ben. With all of my heart. And if you think this is going to scare me away then you are mistaken.”

Her hands moved up and cupped his cheeks. “It’s going to take a lot more than that to scare me away from someone as perfect and generous as you.”

She leaned in, kissing his lips with all the love that she could muster, and she felt happy as Ben pushed back into her. She had him back, not completely, but he was there.

When they pulled away Leslie looked back down at the bottle in her lap. “And these? How often do you take them?”

“I try not to take them. They’re here for emergencies. I used to be on about five different types when I was younger, and they really fucked up my body. I gained weight, I had no energy, and I was miserable on them. But they did help. I try not to take them, but when I get like…that…I have to rely on something to help me get back to myself,” Ben explained.

Leslie ran her hand through his hair, and Ben closed his eyes as he tried to relax against her touch. “I’m glad that you told me this. And it hasn’t ruined anything, Ben. This is still hands down the best vacation I have ever been on. I’m with the man of my dreams, and we both love each other. But I think we should go to bed now. You need to rest and sleep this off. Do you think you can do that?”

Ben managed a nod and let Leslie tuck him back into bed; she got him a glass of water and a cold washcloth from the bathroom to ease his scalding forehead. She then climbed in next to him, wrapping himself around his body, and kissing his shoulder soothingly.

“I will admit, it is a little hard to believe that you put on weight when you were depressed,” she said as she gently poked him in his flat stomach. “You’re so taut and compact, like a sexy sports car.”

For the first time since he woke up, Ben managed a smile. “I gained like sixty pounds.”

Leslie squeaked. “I still find that so hard to believe.”

“I’m sure I have pictures if you need proof?” 

Leslie just grinned and nuzzled into his side. “I love you, Ben. Never ever sell yourself short because you are perfect.”

Ben placed a hand over hers. “I love you too, Leslie. You’re the love of my life.”

Leslie blinked back tears of her own as Ben finally drifted back off to sleep again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben woke up to the sun shining on his face and he grunted. But his eyelids were still too heavy to peel them back.

For a moment, he started to panic again when he couldn’t feel Leslie’s warmth against him, but then he heard something coming from the bathroom. A sweet voice that eased his nerves almost instantly.

“Yes…Yes please. Thank you; that would be wonderful…and could you possibly bring up extra whipped cream? Or if you wanted to send over a can that would be great.”

He finally managed to open up his eyes just in time to see Leslie walking out of the bathroom, the room service phone pressed to her ear. She said goodbye to the receiver and hung up.

“Morning. Sorry did I wake you?” she asked as she climbed back onto the bed.

“No…Not at all,” Ben said. “Who were you talking to?”

“Room service,” Leslie said with a smile. “They’re sending up waffles and all kinds of breakfast food. I told them you weren’t feeling too good and needed some cheering up. There’s freshly squeezed orange juice, fruit, bacon and eggs…anything you want, it’s coming.”

She ran a hand through his messy hair and kissed his forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Better after sleeping it off,” Ben mumbled, relishing in her touch. “I’m so sorry about last night.”

Leslie shook her head. “No, don’t worry at all about it, and please don’t apologise. These things happen, you’ve been through so much. Of course you’ll have demons; we all do. It’s just finding out how to keep them away.”

She leaned into his chest, and he wrapped her arms around her. “But don’t worry, I’m here to chase them away.”

Ben chuckled and kissed the top of her head, cuddling Leslie in closer to his chest.

“So today is your relaxation day. We can do whatever you want. If you feel up to getting out and about, we can do what you want. And if you just want to stay in bed all day, then we can do that too,” Leslie told him.

“You are wonderful” Ben told her, kissing her head lovingly. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You told me off in class…and I never forgave you…or forgot you,” Leslie grinned.

They stayed cuddled in bed until room service knocked on the door, presenting them with all kinds of breakfast food. Ben chose to stay in their hut all day. There was a nice little deck where they could sit and sunbathe if they wanted to, but Ben was more than content right now lying in bed with his beautiful girlfriend cuddled up to his chest.

The love of his life. The sunlight in his darkness. The fiery, bubbly Leslie Knope.


	12. A Love That is Hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up! Thank you all for being so patient while I write this!
> 
> Thank you so so so much to supervanillabear31 for being my awesome beta for this story and letting me bounce ideas off of her! You are the best! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

_“Sorry, Benji. It’s just not working out,” Cindy said, the tone of her voice made Ben think that she wasn’t sorry at all._

_“What are you saying?” Ben choked out. “I don’t understand.”_

_Cindy rolled her eyes. “Benji, no one wants a failed pathetic teen mayor for a boyfriend. You’re a huge fuck up; no one in this town likes you. You’re possibly the worst mayor this town has ever had. My dad lost his job because of you. Families have no money because of you.”_

_Ben bit his lip. “But…I did this for you. You told me to run. You told me that Ice Town was a good idea.”_

_Cindy shrugged. “I’m not taking the blame for your mistakes, Ben.”_

_She never called him Ben. That’s when he knew it was over._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_It was a year after Ice Town when it first happened._

_“Male. Nineteen years old,” the paramedics announced as they wheeled him in on a gurney. “Signs of anxiety that has progressed into a panic attack. Patient can’t breathe on his own, so he’s on oxygen to help.”_

_Ben’s eyes were wide open as lights flashed above him. His breathing was erratic and laboured, and he couldn’t move his hands. His whole body was falling apart in front of him._

_He could feel the oxygen mask taped around his face that hadn’t left his mouth since he was picked up by the ambulance. Steph found him sprawled out on the bathroom floor, drenched in sweat and trembling so hard he couldn’t stand. She screamed and ran down to get his mother for help, resulting in the ambulance being called._

_The gurney stopped moving, and a nurse looked down at him._

_“What? No. That’s Ice Clown. I’m not tending to him; no way. My husband lost his job because of him.”_

_A voice tutted. “Lydia, our job is to help people not to judge.”_

_The doctor leaned over and glared at Ben. “Even if this patient is a huge turd.”_

_Tears seeped out of Ben’s eyes, and he started to sob. The doctor grunted and turned away._

_“Maybe this will teach you a lesson, Ice Clown,” he hissed as he snapped latex gloves against his hand. “Give him an chlordiazepoxide injection to calm him down.”_

_A needle went right into Ben’s arm. His breathing instantly slowed as his eyelids drooped._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Zoloft. Prozac. Ben was losing count of the amount of antidepressants he had been on._

_What he most certainly wasn’t losing count of were the pounds of weight he was gaining._

_He was twenty and had gained 60 pounds in less than a year thanks to the medication he was on. He was sure that had to be the reason; he hardly ate anything as it is. Yet, as Ben looked in the mirror, his face was round and bloated. His stomach stretched and flabby, his arms and legs were pink and chunky like uncooked sausages._

_He used to be so taut and narrow. What the hell happened?_

_His appearance made him feel sick, and looking at his reflection like this to see the overweight man he had become made it all worse._

_That day, Ben refused to look in a mirror ever again._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“How are you doing today, Ben?”_

_Doctor ‘call me Heather’ Carmichael was a practicing therapist in the next town over. No therapist in Partridge wanted to help Ben, forcing him to seek help elsewhere._

_He sighed. “I’ve gained weight. A lot of weight.”_

_Doctor Carmichael smiled sadly. “It happens I’m afraid. It’s good to try and stay active though; you’ll shift those pounds before you know it. Are you happy to stay on the medication we’ve given you? Or would you like to change?”_

_Ben glared at her. “I want to come off them. They are ruining my life! Look at me! I’m disgusting! These pills are making me insane. I can’t handle this shit anymore.”_

_Doctor Carmichael reached out, touching Ben on the hand and soothing him. “Your body is getting used to them. You’re bound to feel a little uneasy for a while. But it’s for the best. They will help. You’ll see.”_

_Ben slumped back in his seat, still scowling at the doctor. What good would taking more pills do for him? They’d never let him forget about Ice Town. They’d never making him forget about his family hating his guts, and he’d never forget about Cindy betraying him._

_“I…just want to feel human again,” Ben whimpered, burying his face in his hands._

_Doctor Carmichael handed him a tissue. “And you will, Ben. I promise. Everything will be okay soon. It might not seem like it right now, but things will fall into place one day. I can’t put a date on these things, but it will just click. You’ll see.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben’s eyes slowly opened to the dark room in his apartment. Those flashbacks had been coming every night since he got back from Belize, reminding him of the terrible life he had at home.

He ran a hand down his side. All traces of his old, fat, overweight body had gone, and he was back to being taut and narrow again. When he went to college ,he joined the Ultimate Frisbee team and the weight practically fell off. He got his confidence back, and being out of Minnesota was just a miracle cure for him. 

He looked to his right, and there she was. The girl who stood by him even after his crazy breakdown in Belize, who found out all of his secrets that night, but still wanted to be with him, the beautiful, wonderful Leslie Knope.

She had finally drifted off into a deep sleep after spending hours working on her scrapbook for their trip and was now curled up against his side, hands tucked under Ben’s pillow and breathing heavily.

She was perfect, so perfect. And he was a screw up. He couldn’t even give her a proper relationship. Even that had to be a huge secret that was bound to blow up sooner or later.

He had noticed, that after Belize, Leslie had been clingy, even more than usual. Like she was desperate to be affectionate in public, which made Ben nervous. He couldn’t hold her hand or kiss her forehead; he just couldn’t. If Chris or anyone else saw, then he would be in serious trouble.

Ben sighed and turned over, closing his eyes. 

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could cope having these nightmares and flashbacks, or how long he’d cope having to hide his relationship. It was all bound to explode into a messy situation sooner or later.

But, now, as his eyelids drooped, Ben decided that he would think more about it in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie felt alive when she was with Ben. She felt loved and worshipped as his hands curled under her neck, bringing her up to kiss him as he thrust into her, groaning loudly into her mouth.

She noticed that Ben liked to be vocal during sex, she had noticed. He refused to stay silent and liked to let Leslie know what she was doing to him through a series of grunts and moans. He was also wonderful at dirty talk, and his words along would send sparkly shivers down her spine and a throbbing start between her legs.

Dave was never like that. He was silent during sex, and Leslie would get a few grunts towards the end when he came, but that was it. She never had sex with Justin, so she would never know what he would be like, and Mark was just something else completely. He’d fumble awkwardly with her bra and push her down onto the mattress. He, like Ben, liked to be vocal, but there was no comparison. While Mark would hiss and sigh loudly as he pushed into her, it made Leslie feel nothing, almost like he was forcing the noises to come out of his mouth. Whereas with Ben it was natural, his breathy moans were easily the sexiest thing Leslie had ever heard in her entire life. 

Every cry of her name from his lips made her feel loved and adored, and nothing beat the way he looked at her after he’d come. The sparkle in his eyes, the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead like diamonds, the way he’d grin at her and kiss all over her face to show how much he loved her.

He knew how to take care of her.

Ben’s thrust sped up, and his hips snapped fiercely, making Leslie cry out and wrap her legs around his back, digging her heels into his sides.

A few unintelligible grunts later told Leslie that Ben had come and that it was over for the moment. She had come not too long ago thanks to Ben and his magic hands and was truly satisfied for the moment.

Ben buried himself into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily. His warm breath tickled the side of her face and she smiled.

“I love you,” Ben whispered. It had been two weeks since he said it for the first time in Belize, and it still sent shivers down her spine. Leslie was sure that she would never get used to that sound.

“I love you too” she replied, leaning over and kissing his stubbly cheek.

They lay there for a few minutes. Just lazily rubbing their noses together and kissing, hands wandered up and down each other’s waists.

Leslie loved this feeling so much, but there was still something that ate at her. Something that had wormed its way into Leslie’s mind and stayed there after their trip. 

She missed the way that Ben would wrap his arms around her and kiss the back of her neck on the streets of Belize. No one knew them there; they were just a couple in love. They were Professor Ben Wyatt and recent graduate Leslie Knope.

But being back in Pawnee, Ben had been distant once again; she knew that he was worried about getting caught. But it hurt. It was back to secret meetings and only cuddling in his apartment. Leslie craved his touch and feel out in public. She wanted him to hold her hand and kiss her after date nights to the movies. Instead, it was just sneaking around and dressing in all black to go undetected.

They loved each other, yet their relationship was just a secret. And nothing would ever change. Not unless Ben told Chris what he was doing. And Leslie would never ask him to potentially give up his career for her. She wasn’t worth that. He’d already had that kind of pain from running for Mayor. She’d never ever hurt him like Cindy did.

The thought of her made Leslie’s blood boil. The thought that someone like her could have been so cruel to someone as sweet as Ben. But she was. She told him to run for Mayor, and then basically screwed him over. If she ever saw her, she’d be dead meat.

“Are you ok?” Ben asked, bringing Leslie out of her thoughts.

Leslie blinked and looked at him. “Of course I am,” she smiled, hoping that Ben didn’t see through the fake.

“I’m glad,” Ben said, placing one last kiss on her lips before sitting up and walking butt naked towards the bathroom to clean up.

“Hey” Leslie called after him, and Ben turned around. “You love me right?”

Ben smirked. “I think I made that pretty clear after saying that to you like thirty times today. Of course I do. I love you so much.”

Leslie smiled a bigger smile, a true, genuine grin. “Just checking. I love you too.”

Ben chuckled softly and turned back to the bathroom muttering something about her being a goofball.

Leslie flopped back down into the pillows and sighed. She was going to find a way around this; she was going to shout from the rooftops that she was in love with Ben Wyatt even if it killed her.

She wanted everyone to know that she was in love with this wonderful man. 

No more hiding. She was done with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what do you plan to do?” Ann asked sternly, folding her arms. “I told you that this situation would never work out, but you didn’t listen. Now you want to try and go around Professor Traeger’s rule and potentially get yourself and Ben into trouble.”

Leslie had gone back to her place that morning. She told Ben that she had some job interview to prep for, but really she just needed advice from the great, wonderful Ann Perkins.

She’d ask April, but things were a little awkward considering she was dating Ben’s neighbour. Plus she had basically moved out and in with Andy. The only time she saw April was across the hall or if Andy came over to borrow condoms or something of Ben’s.

And borrowing condoms happened a lot. Leslie almost wanted to take April to the side and talk to her about the benefits of going on the pill and how it was more reliable, but chose against it.

Leslie fiddled with the hem of her skirt. “Well, I was thinking maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, like if Chris went to break his own rule then maybe he’d scrap it? So what if you went to Chris and asked him out on a date? I mean, you are so beautiful he’d never say no.”

“I am not going to ask a random professor out on a date. First off, that would never work; Chris seems deadly serious about that rule so he’d turn me down. Second of all, what makes you think that would help you and Ben?” Ann asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You could wear that dress you got that Julia Roberts wears in ‘Pretty Women?’ I mean you look amazing in it” Leslie explained.

Ann frowned. “Okay, yes I do look really good in it, but, even if I wear that dress, it won’t work.”

“Ann, please” Leslie begged, climbing up from the bed and taking her hands. “I don’t know what else to do. This is the only thing that could help me and Ben become a real couple. I’m fed up with the sneaking around and pretending this isn’t real. He loves me, Ann. And Belize brought us closer.”

Leslie sighed and lowered her eyes. “I hate seeing couples everywhere all the time, holding hands and being all sweet and romantic. That should be me and him, and it sucks that we can’t be like that. Our relationship is so important to me, and I’ve never felt this way about a guy before. Please, just help me out this once and I’ll never ask you for anything ever, ever again.”

Ann pursed her lips and sighed. Leslie looked so sincere right now, and she couldn’t say no to her best friend. Even if it was a crazy, hair-brained scheme. 

“Alright, fine, I’ll do this for you. But what am I going to do if this actually works and I end up on a date with Chris?” Ann asked, sounding a little distressed.

“Then you go on three dates, and then say you aren’t feeling it” Leslie said with a shrug. “It’s fine; it’s totally plausible. By then, me and Ben would have announced our relationship to the sound of fanfares and Chris can’t punish us.”

Ann rolled her eyes. “You’ll have to coach me in what to say.”

Leslie nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll give you cash and everything. Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

She grabbed hold of Ann and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, Ann couldn’t help but smile at her.

“It’s fine, just…I don’t know…it’s good to see you so happy about a guy,” Ann said. The tone of her voice reminded Leslie of her mother.

“I am,” Leslie replied, squeezing her hands. “I’m so happy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There he is. He’s the one at the table on the far left. Do you see him?” Leslie asked, pointing out Chris to her.

“Yeah. Wow, he is pretty good looking. Not that this makes the situation any better,” Ann mumbled.

They were both hiding outside of a coffee shop just outside of Pawnee; apparently Chris came here a lot and was on a first name basis with a lot of the staff. He was alone at a table reading a men’s fitness magazine and drinking what looked like some sort of herbal tea.

Leslie had heard from Ben that he was going to be out for most of the day with a friend of the family. He gave her a key to his apartment and said that she was more than welcome to wait there, and he’d cook dinner for her later. This gave her the opportunity to groom Ann for the occasion. She looked beautiful and maybe slightly overdressed for a coffee, but it would hopefully catch Chris’s attention.

“So just go in and strike up a conversation about anything. Say his tea looks nice and you were thinking of getting that,” Leslie said. She was currently dressed in a long black coat, dark sunglasses, and a black floppy hat, her patented sneak around clothes.

“Right, I know. I think I know how to flirt with guys,” Ann said, adjusting her dress.

“But you have to mention that you just graduated from Indiana State. You have to say that. That’s the whole thing. If he doesn’t know that you are a graduate, then this just makes the whole situation redundant,” Leslie gabbled nervously.

Ann took Leslie’s hand and squeezed it. “It’s fine. You kept me up until 4 last night drilling me with information about this. I’ll be ok. Just go to Ben’s place and I’ll text you later.” 

Leslie gave Ann a quick squeeze and slunk off, hiding behind lampposts as she hurried away.

Ann took a deep breath and pushed the door open. It set off a bell at the top, which chimed as Ann walked in, her heels clicking along the ground.

She looked at the menu for a bit and made a show of looking like she didn’t know what she wanted, hoping that Chris might look up at her and start a conversation himself. Sadly he was too engrossed with his magazine to notice her.

Ann knew that she had to take matters into her own hand, so swiftly walked over to his table, her sundress swishing as she moved, and she cleared her throat.

Chris looked up at her and smiled. “Are you okay there, miss?”

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Ann said bashfully, clasping her hands together. “But I’m not sure what I want to drink, and what you have looks delicious. What is it?”

“Oh, this is actually very hard to drink” Chris said, pointing to the cup. “It’s Verosian Tea, and it has an interesting smell but a terrible taste.”

Ann grinned. “If it tastes so bad, how come you drink it?”

“It’s great for supercharging the bacteria in your colon,” Chris explained. “I’m a health junkie.”

“Oh I can see that” Ann said, gesturing to the magazine. “Maybe I’ll stick with a latte. But I’d love to hear all about your…healthiness… May I join you?”

She swallowed hard, hoping that he wouldn’t tell her to go away after that comment.

“I’m actually here meeting a friend, but I got here early. I’d love the company,” Chris said, offering her a seat.

“Oh, great. I’ll get my drink, and I’d love to join you… Sorry, I didn’t get your name,” Ann said, pretending that Leslie hadn’t been saying his name over and over again the entire night.

“I’m Chris Traeger,” he introduced himself, shaking Ann’s hand. “And might I ask your name?

“Ann Perkins,” she replied with a small smile. 

“Well it is wonderful to meet you, Ann Perkins. I am literally ecstatic. I love meeting new people,” Chris explained and flashed his pearly whites, and Ann blushed, mumbling that she needed a coffee. 

Ann hurriedly went to the counter and ordered her coffee and sat in the seat that Chris had offered. She fluttered her eyelashes and laughed at all of his jokes and showed a great interest in how radishes are the key to a healthy urethra.

They had been talking for about half an hour when Ann finally struck up the courage to do what she had been sent for. She found a lull in the conversation and cut in.

“So, what do you do for work? Are you a personal trainer? You have the body for it,” she flirted, and Chris chuckled.

“I’m actually a professor at the college. I’m the head of the History Department,” Chris said with a smile.

“Oh, that’s so funny,” Ann said, “I actually just graduated from-”

“Hey, Chris. Sorry I’m late.”

Ann froze at the sound of another voice. She knew that voice from somewhere. She didn’t dare look as Chris’s head turned to the voice and smiled.

“Ben Wyatt! Don’t worry about it. I was actually just talking to this delightful young lady,” Chris said.

Ann’s heart thumped loudly, and her eyes were as wide as the saucer in front of her. Her eyes flicked upwards, and there was Ben in front of her.

She could see the look in his eyes change drastically. From a cool glance in her direction, to recognising who she was and frantically trying to figure out how on earth she was here, Leslie Knope’s best friend talking to the one guy that they desperately wanted to keep their relationship from.

Ben swallowed. “H-Hi.”

“Hi,” Ann squeaked back.

“Ben, this is Ann Perkins. And she was just about to tell me about where you just graduated from?” Chris said, turning his attention back to Ann as Ben tentatively took a seat next to Chris, not once removing his glare from Ann.

Ann felt her cheeks grow hot and she cleared her throat. “I-It’s really not important. I have to go. Thank you for keeping me company.”

And, with that, she drained the last of her coffee and bolted out of the café. Before she left she heard Ben’s voice as clear as day echo in her ears.

“I won’t be able to stay for too long, if that’s ok? I have something I need to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie was lying on Ben’s couch reading one of his Batman comics to pass the time when her phone started bleeping. She looked at it and felt her heart in her throat when Ann’s name flashed on the receiver.

“Ann! How did it g-”

“He knows. Ben knows,” Ann gasped out; it sounded like she had been running.

Leslie nearly dropped the phone in shock, but she kept it tightly by her ear, her eyes darting around the room in shock. “What? How did he find out?”

“He was meeting Chris for coffee. It… It was going so well but then Ben turned up, and he recognised me. He knows, Leslie. Chris is surely going to tell him that I just started up a conversation with him for no reason. Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Ann cried out in a rush.

“No, it’s not your fault. We didn’t know that he was going to be there” Leslie said, trying desperately to think where Ben was telling her where he was going. He said he was going to meet a family friend; the last time she checked, Chris wasn’t a family friend.

“You need to get out of there.”

“What?”

“You need to get out of there, now!” Ann repeated. “He’s coming back there, probably to talk to you about this. I heard him tell Chris that he couldn’t stay for long. He’s coming, Leslie.”

Leslie was about to ask Ann how much time she had left when she heard the key in the door, and her heart stopped. She didn’t have time to tell Ann goodbye. She just hung up the phone and anxiously stood from the couch.

The door opened, and Ben walked in. His eyes met hers immediately and Leslie instantly knew that look, the darkening in his eyes that was the opposite from his look of lust.

He was mad.

“Hi,” he said with no emotion to his voice, shrugging off his jacket.

“Hey. How was your day?” Leslie asked, praying that Ben might not have put two and two together.

“It was good. I saw a weird thing, though. Ann Perkins, you know, your best friend, Ann. Yeah, she was having coffee with my friend and boss, Chris. And according to him, she just turned up and struck up a conversation with him,” Ben said, folding his arms and towering over her.

Leslie took a deep breath “I thought you were meeting a family friend today-”

“Don’t change the subject.”

Leslie swallowed. “T-That is a strange coincidence indeed.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?”

Leslie took a step backwards to assess Ben’s face. Yep, he was definitely mad at her, seething in fact. She had never seen him look so angry before.

“Ben –”

“No, don’t ‘Ben’ me,” he cut in angrily. “What the hell were you playing at? What did you do? Did you try and set Ann and Chris up on a date to try and make our situation easier? It’s not going to work. I told him that I recognised her from the college, and he got all flustered and embarrassed, saying that he was glad that she ran off because of the rule.”

Leslie’s cheeks grew hot. “I’m sorry. I just thought that if Chris could break his own rule then we could come clean.”

“It’s not Chris’s rule, Leslie. It’s a rule most colleges implement to ward out foul play with grades. Why don’t you understand that?” Ben retorted angrily.

“But I’m sick of it!” Leslie snapped, stamping her foot on the ground. “I’m sick of the hiding and secrecy. I love you, Ben. And you love me. I want to be able to hold my head up high and tell people that I’m in love with a wonderful man, and he loves me back. Why can’t _you_ understand that?”

“Because my career is on the line if we come forward,” Ben growled. “My career, and not just that. Your grades could be revoked, and there’d be a hearing.”

“But nothing happened until the night of my last exam. You were done with grading my projects. It was external. Face it, you are afraid of being with me because I’m like a ticking time bomb to you. You have me, but you’re worried that something might blow up and ruin everything,” Leslie hissed at him, her face growing red with anger.

“That’s not true –”

“What if I got pregnant, Ben?”

Ben blinked. “What?”

“You heard. What if I got pregnant with your baby? What would you do? Would you even step up and be a father to it? And admit that you have a relationship with me? Or would you just pretend that it was nothing to do with you, or pay me to get rid of it?” Leslie asked, her voice laced with venom as she folded her arms over her chest.

Ben sighed. “Please don’t do this.”

“Do what, Ben? Lay the truth out for you? Because I love you. I’m yours. But you are too involved with this harming your career that even the prospect of moving forward to something like that freaks you out,” Leslie hissed at him.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ben growled. “Of course I love you. You know I do. But I am not ready to come forward yet. At least give it-”

“What? A few years? Wait for it all just to blow over?” Leslie shook her head. “No, I’m not about to wait around until you are comfortable with the situation. I’m just going to make things ten times easier for you.”

She reached down and grabbed her bag, pulling it over her shoulder.

Ben’s heart stopped as she walked towards the door. “What are you doing?”

“Who are we kidding? We’ll never be anything,” Leslie said solemnly. She pulled the key that Ben gave her out of her jeans pocket and tossed it at him.

And all Ben could do was watch helplessly as she closed the door behind her. Taking his heart and ripping it to pieces.


	13. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second to last chapter!! I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> A huge thanks goes to Supervanillabear31, Benjis-Cool-Times and PawneeWafflesBen for beta-ing this for me!

It had been ten days since she left.

Ten long days where it felt like the sun hadn’t shined in years. Ten days since the smartest, funniest girl he ever had the pleasure of meeting left. Ten horrible days since Leslie Knope walked out of his life.

All Ben wanted to do was to talk to her. He’d left her countless missed calls and messages, begging her to come back and talk about this. But he heard nothing back. She was mad at him and didn’t want to see him again.

It felt like his world had collapsed around him. He barely left his apartment. He had to physically drag himself to the bathroom to shower, and he found himself sleeping a lot.

Every time he closed his eyes, he hoped to wake up to Leslie standing over him, smiling and telling him to not be so lazy and get up. But whenever he opened them a few hours later, he was only met with the ceiling of his apartment.

He was at a loss. This wasn’t a run of the mill break up. This was heartbreak. Nothing but painful, gut-wrenching misery came from this.

Ben knew why Leslie left. Of course he did; he wasn’t stupid. She left because she was sick of trying to hide their relationship. He was tired of it too, but there was something that kept him from being able to hold her hand in public or kiss her outside. 

It was the same fear that he carried since Ice Town.

Ever since he failed at being mayor and was basically chased out of Partridge. Ben hated being a failure. There was something about being called out in front of everyone for a title that he should have been good at that made him feel worthless. Ben constantly tried to strive for perfection, and that bit him in the ass several times. He wanted perfection when he sought after Cindy for all those years. He wanted perfection when he ran for mayor at only eighteen and somehow won. When both of those ended, it was like his life ended too.

There was no point in living if he couldn’t be the above-average man that he wanted to be.

And now, he was in a job he didn’t care much for. But he refused to give up on it. Because it filled him with some sort of happiness when he saw a student get a grade he didn’t think he was going to get or watching a student walk across the stage and receive her diploma to the chorus of cheers.

But it was meant to be a temp job. Something to keep him stable until he found the drive to get back into government. That’s what he wanted after all; that was his dream.

He didn’t notice it until late in his campaign for mayor. When Cindy jokingly told him to run, Ben never even let the thought of working for the government cross his mind. But, as he worked closely with his campaign team and attended rallies and debates, he felt a surge of energy course through his veins. He loved it. He loved the rush of winning, and it was something that buzzed through him for the entirety of his campaign.

That feeling died when he was elected. Sure, the start of it was great, but soon Ben realised that he was way in over his head. He was a kid. He knew nothing about budgeting or being in charge of a town, and no one was there to stop him from his mistakes.

There was no one to stop Leslie either as she left.

He should have jumped up, ran to her side and pulled her into his arms, begging for forgiveness. He should have called Chris there and then and resigned. 

He should have _apologised_.

The look on her face replayed in his mind all day. It hurt like hell seeing the tears building in her eyes as she tossed the key at him. Her lower lip had wobbled when turned away and walked out of the door. He’d never forget that for as long as he lived.

A banging on his door brought him out of his thoughts. Ben, thinking it was Leslie, ran straight to the door, a hopeful look on his face as he yanked it open.

His hope faded when he saw Andy standing in front of him.

“Dude, what happened? You look like shit,” Andy snorted as he took in Ben’s appearance.

“Thanks,” Ben hissed. “What do you want?”

“I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s going on with you?” Andy asked, not waiting for Ben to let him in and walking into the apartment.

“Oh, you know. Same old shit.” Ben shrugged.

Andy pursed his lips. “April told me about you and Leslie.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Great. So everyone knows how I blew things with her?”

“April said that you didn’t want to date her because she was young,” Andy said, pulling a beer out of Ben’s fridge and sitting down on his couch.

“That’s not true. Age doesn’t matter,” Ben cut in. “Things just didn’t work out… because…”

“Because?”

“Because there’s this stupid rule. This stupid rule that says that I can’t date her, which sucks because that’s all I want. I wanna date her so badly because I love her. But if my boss ever found out that we were together, then that would be my job gone, and Leslie’s grades could get revoked. She worked so hard for that, and I can’t risk her education being ruined just because of feelings,” Ben said in one breath, arms gesturing wildly.

“But it shouldn’t matter, right?” Andy asked. “You weren’t together when she took her exams. I remember. You looked miserable the night I met April, and she said that they’d finished their exams. It doesn’t count.”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not that simple. They’ll never believe that it conveniently happened the night she was technically not a student anymore. It’ll be months of uncertainty while the powers that be review her grades.”

Andy shrugged. “So? Did you give her special treatment?”

“No. It sounds bad, but I only really noticed her towards the end of the school year,” Ben explained.

“There you go,” Andy clapped his hands together. “You didn’t do anything wrong. So you guys can come clean and just hope that you both come out of it with your jobs and grades and whatever.”

Ben sighed. Andy really wasn’t getting this at all. He made it sound so overly simple. If only it was like that. Especially now that Leslie wasn’t even talking to him.

He swallowed and turned back to Andy. “What would you do? In my position? Like if you weren’t allowed to date April, but you really, really wanted to, and it felt like you might die if you couldn’t wake up to her every morning?”

Andy paused for a moment and then grinned. “I’d say screw that job. If something is going to get in the way of you guys getting together and awesome sex, then it really isn’t worth it.”

“But the money –”

“The money isn’t worth it if you’re aren’t happy,” Andy cut in. “I have nothing to my name. I get a bit from playing at Tuckers every Friday night. The rest of it is from working at the shoeshine stand at City Hall, and even that doesn’t pay great. But I’m happy. Sure, April and I eat off of a frisbee every night, and that can get a little annoying because she eats super slowly. But I couldn’t imagine anyone else in my life.” He scooted closer to Ben. “Do you want to know something crazy? We got married last week.”

Ben blinked. “You what?”

“We got married!” Andy repeated, bouncing up and down like an excited child. “Yeah. We were hanging out, and suddenly I was like ‘what if we got married tomorrow?’ and she was like ‘fine.’ So we went to City Hall and found this Justice of the Peace lady, and next thing I know, we’re married.”

“That’s insane,” Ben said. “What do your parents think of this? Wait, no. What do _her_ parents think of this?”

“They were there,” Andy continued. “We needed a witness, so we called them up, and they were really happy. They gave us $2000! That’s actually why I came here. We’re going to Lake Michigan for our honeymoon. Burley has a vacation home there that he’s letting us stay in, and we need you to look after our fish.”

“Well, that sounds ni- wait. Since when do you have fish?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow.

“We got then after the wedding. They’re called Swedish and Sushi.”

Ben sighed. “And you bought them with the $2000 April’s parents gave you?”

“Duh. What were we supposed to get?” Andy snorted. “Adult stuff?”

Ben thought that plates and cutlery would have been good. But Andy looked too happy to care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another week had passed and still no Leslie.

Ben waved April and Andy off on their trip and dutifully fed Swedish and Sushi twice a day (he didn’t need to ask who named what fish). He even bought them a set of plates and bowls as a wedding present.

But he couldn’t forget the conversation that he and Andy had the day before he left. About how if it were him and April in this situation, he would forget work just to be with her. 

Was that what he needed to do? 

He’d see Chris today anyway for a pre back-to-school meeting. He could do it then. Resign and tell him everything and leave with his head held high. 

Ben’s stomach lurched. The very thought of even telling Chris everything and resigning made him nauseous. He buried his face into his hands and groaned.

He could go back to teaching and pretend none of this ever happened. He’d go on dates with women Chris found him and carry on being unhappy.

Carry on taking medication every morning. Carry on until he ended up at the bottom of the pit he was slowly spiralling into.

Other than the panic attack he had in Belize, his anxiety had been non-existent. Leslie made waking up in the mornings bearable, so wasn’t that the point? Every therapist he’d ever seen had told him to find something that could make him happy – or someone. 

And she was it. Not his job. Her.

Ben rose on shaking legs to get dressed. He knew what he had to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben sat across from Chris, who was rubbing the sides of his face.

“I don’t know what to say,” Chris finally stammered out.

Ben sighed. “I’m sorry, Chris. But I’ve made up my mind. No more sneaking around. No more lies. I’ll take full responsibility for what happened, and I’ll resign immediately. This happened after her final exam; there’s no proof of favouritism, and I always graded her fairly. I don’t want Leslie to get wrapped up in this. Please, leave her out of the whole thing, and blame it all on me.”

Chris looked up at Ben, and he could have sworn there were tears in his eyes. “We’ll need to conduct an investigation. Ms. Knope’s grades will be looked into, and she will have to come in and give a statement that she consented to your relationship. Other than that, she’llbe kept out of it.”

Ben nodded. “Thank you.”

Chris swallowed and scribbled something down on the pad in front of him. He then stopped and looked back up.

“Can I ask you something? Was all of this – the sneaking around, the lying, losing your job. Was it worth it?”

“Yes,” Ben exhaled. “It was.”

It was only meant to be a temp job, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About an hour later, it was official. Ben Wyatt was unemployed after resigning in disgrace.

The faculty would soon find out. His current students would question what happened to him at the start of term. But Ben couldn’t care less.

There was only one thing that he cared about now.

His feet seemed to move automatically towards his car, and Ben soon found himself on the road, driving towards her house.

She might never want to see him again, but he had to tell her. Had to tell her what he’d done.

Ben’s heart beat three times its normal pace as he sped down the highway. He was probably well above the speeding limit, but it was worth it. Even a run in with a cop would be worth it if it meant getting to Leslie as soon as possible.

He turned off at the next road, down a small suburban lane where old terraced houses stood in neat rows. He knew which house was hers. He’d picked her up once or twice from here. It was the one with the unkempt front garden and white gate with the paint peeling.

There was an empty space in the driveway, so he parked and jumped out of the car, suddenly wishing that he had flowers or chocolates to present Leslie with and knocked on the door.

A sudden panic flushed through Ben’s chest. What if Ann answered and told him to go away? What if Donna answered and tore him to shreds? Ben had never actually met Donna before, but he’d heard from Leslie that she could be vicious if she wanted to. 

The door creaked open, and Ben exhaled when he saw her standing in the doorway.

Leslie. His Leslie.

She was dressed in old sweatpants and a Pawnee Goddess shirt that was littered with holes. Her baby blue eyes widened at the sight of him. “Ben? What are you -”

“Look, just listen to me,” Ben jumped in. “I’m so sorry, Leslie. I’m so sorry for everything. I never should’ve tried to hide anything about our relationship. I love you and should’ve been expressing that as much as I could. I feel like such an idiot because all of this broke us up. That wasn’t what I wanted at all, I just wanted to feel safe and comfortable with you and not let anyone else in.”

He swallowed and licked his lips. “I told Chris, and then I resigned. It’s over. I don’t want to work somewhere if that means having to hide the way I feel about you. And I know you’re mad at me right now; you have every right to be. But we have no ties to the college right now. Nothing.”

Leslie blinked a couple times and folded her arms. She went to open her mouth to talk but Ben stopped her.

“I don’t want to do this here, not on your doorstep. I want you to come back to mine, where we can talk about this like two adults. But I want you back, Leslie. You’ve made my life so wonderful and not having you by my side these past few days has driven me insane. I miss you so much. I’ll give you the chance to get dressed or you can come over like that if you want, I don’t care. You’re perfect in whatever you wear. Just please. I want to talk about this properly.”

He breathed out slowly and turned on his heel, back to the car, and he drove off, refusing to look behind him until he got back to his apartment.

It was up to her now. All he could do was wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day turned to night, and there was still no sign of her.

Ben didn’t dare move from his couch. He didn’t want to walk out of the room only to miss her knocking on the door. He’d never forgive himself.

He wished that she never gave back her key. This was just as much her home as it was his. With her gone, it didn’t feel the same. It was an apartment in Indiana, nothing else. She took the essence of home with her when she left, leaving it bare.

It just turned a quarter to one in the morning when Ben finally started to accept his fate. Leslie wouldn’t be here tonight. He was exhausted and his eyes were drooping. He needed to get some sleep and hope that she would be on his doorstep tomorrow morning.

Ben was slowly pushing himself up with a sigh, dragging his weary feet towards the bedroom when he heard it.

The faintest knock on his door.

He spun around so fast he almost gave himself whiplash and sprinted to the door, wrenching it open.

There she was, dressed in a thick coat and staring back up at him.

Ben inhaled deeply, and it felt like the first breath he had taken in years. Because she was standing in front of him. Leslie was back.

He wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. Whether she’d tell him she was no longer interested and had moved on. But right now he didn’t care. He was just so relieved that she was here.

“Can I come in?” she asked shyly. “It’s cold outside.”

Ben immediately nodded and ushered her in. “Of course. How did you get over here? Did Ann drive you?”

“I walked,” Leslie explained. “I wanted the fresh air to… y’know… think about all this.”

“Oh,” Ben swallowed and closed the door after her.

She toyed with her hands for a moment and looked back up. “So you resigned?”

Ben nodded. “Earlier today. It wasn’t worth it anymore. Especially after losing something that I knew I’d never find again. That job was worthless compared to you. You have to know that. And I was so stupid and afraid that I didn’t notice it sooner. I didn’t know what I had until it was gone…until you were gone.”

He took a step towards her, half expecting her to back off. But Leslie stayed rooted, watching his every movement.

“When I came to Indiana, I was desperate to find work. The opportunity came up as a maternity cover temp, and I took it. And for some reason I never left,” Ben explained. “But everyday I would wake up and wonder what the fuck I was doing with my life. I never wanted to be a teacher, and somehow it happened. I wanted to work in government. Always have. And getting a taste of it when I ran for mayor was both a blessing and a curse. But the day you spoke up in my class. That day you stood up and shouted at that girl… I was never going forget you after that. How could I?”

He was right next to her now, towering over her. Leslie’s blue eyes followed him and watched intently as Ben poured his heart out.

“I love you, Leslie,” he continued. “I have for a long time. You are perfect. You’re funny, smart, beautiful. I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you, but you took me on. And not telling Chris the day we kissed for the first time is my biggest regret ever. I should have been screaming your name from the rooftops. I should have been singing your praises to everyone I met. I should have treated you better.”

He looked down at his feet and sighed. “I know you hate me right now, but can we at least try and work this out? I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”

“I don’t hate you,” Leslie cut in. “I could never hate you, Ben. I’m just…frustrated by this.”

She reached out, cupping the side of Ben’s stubbly cheek with her still-cold hand. “But how can I be mad after all that? You gave up your career for me. You sacrificed so much today all because of me. And I can’t believe I could be so selfish to moan about all that.”

She sniffed, and Ben looked up, noting the tears building in her eyes. “I made you give up your job. H-how could anyone do that to a person?”

Ben quickly pulled her into a hug. “No. This is a wake up call for me. It’s you, Leslie. I’d always pick you, no matter what. I can try anything now. Test the waters and see what interests me. I promise you, I wanted to do this. I wanted to be with you, and that wasn’t going to happen in this job.”

He tucked his fingers under her chin and titled her head towards his. “The day I looked into your eyes for the first time, I knew that you were the girl for me.”

Leslie let out a shaky breath and jumped up on tiptoes, their lips colliding for the first time in days. 

She showed no mercy, and her tongue greedily snuck into Ben’s mouth, and he, submissive to her, let her in. His arms snaked around her waist, helping her hitch up and wrap around his back.

Leslie pressed her hips into his groin eagerly, and Ben moaned. He forgot how much he loved the feel of her in his arms, the smell of her skin, the taste of her lips. He’d burn the feel of her into his flesh forever, never to forget her again.

He could feel the tightening in his pants as Leslie ground against him as best as she could, and Ben pushed her against the wall to keep her level. He wanted to feel more of her. This wasn’t going to be his best performance; he knew that already. But it was never going to be. Not after being without her for so long.

Leslie pulled away, nibbling at Ben’s bottom lip. “Bed. Now,” she hissed, and Ben smirked.

“As you command,” he said as he carried her into the bedroom.

The apartment seemed to come alive once again with Leslie inside. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben’s fingers danced across Leslie’s bare chest, and she giggled. A sound that he would never tire of. It had been a long night, now turning into morning. Their bodies pressed together once again in the early morning, and Ben found himself buried inside of her more than once.

It was home.

She moved forward, and her hair fell in front of her face. Ben tucked it behind her ear so that she could see. He loved her hair so much, how soft it was and how it smelled like vanilla. 

It was just one of the many things he loved about her.

“So… does this mean we’re back together?” Leslie asked, wrinkling her nose slightly.

Ben sat up on his elbows. “Do you want to get back together? I’m pretty sure I stated my case clearly.”

“I know, but are we ok?” Leslie asked, tilting her head to the side. “I was a huge dick. I said so much stuff that I regret. After I left, I cried for like a week because I felt so awful. I’ve never been so sorry in my life.”

“Please don’t apologise,” Ben said, reaching over and tangling his fingers in her curls. “It’s me who should be begging for your forgiveness. I shouldn’t have been such an ass. I took you for granted.”

He took her hand with his free one and kissed her knuckle. “You are so beautiful, and I want to get back together.”

Leslie sighed softly, and a dreamy smile crossed her lips. “I do too, Ben. I love you so much.”

Ben grinned and moved up, kissing her once again. “I love you too, babydoll.”

He moved his hands around her body, and Leslie carefully rolled back on top of him. The slow, soft kisses turned heated and wet.

With a sigh, Ben pulled away. “I could do this forever. I really could. But I’m exhausted. I haven’t been sleeping great recently.”

Leslie smiled sadly. “Without me?”

“Without my pillows,” Ben said, pushing forward and burying his face into Leslie’s bare breasts. She cackled loudly and swatted at him.

“Alright, alright. We can go to sleep. But not for too long. I want to go for breakfast and then a walk where we can hold hands and then maybe see a movie. Oh my god; there’s so much to plan,” Leslie mused, biting her lower lip.

Ben carefully rolled her back off his chest and onto her side of the bed. “Tomorrow, baby. I promise we’ll do all those things.”

Except for going out for breakfast. Ben was adamant that he was going to cook Leslie the best breakfast in bed that she’d ever had. 

Even after just a short few hours of sleep, he’d be willing to do that small gesture for her.

His Leslie.


	14. We'll Always Have Pawnee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! The final chapter!! I can't believe that I've finally come to the end of this story and what a wild ride it's been!! I really hope that you've all enjoyed reading it! 
> 
> As always, a huge thank you goes to my betas and biggest supporters: Supervanillabear31, Benjis-Cool-Times, and PawneeWafflesBen. I couldn't have done this without your support and kind words. So thank you so much!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy the final chapter and please don't forget to leave comments and kudos!

Ben had never been unemployed before.

Sure, he’d technically been unemployed after Ice Town, but he was also eighteen and going off to college. So, it didn’t really matter. 

But a surge of guilt swept over him like never before. This must’ve been how all those people felt after their forced unemployment during Ice Town. It was pretty hard to accept and cope with, but Leslie made everything about it better. 

She came over all the time to cheer him up and occupy his time so that the looming thoughts of having to find a job didn’t swallow him whole.

There had been a very brief ethics trial regarding Leslie’s grades. They picked three papers that Ben graded for her at random and reviewed them. The results soon came back, and they agreed that Ben’s grading was acceptable and fair. 

She then had to give a statement about her relationship with Ben, where she told them about meeting with him before her final exam because she liked his company, and then about kissing him after she finished college. Leslie was strong and didn’t falter under pressure; Ben couldn’t have been more proud of her.

They’d let her off the hook, agreeing that Ben resigning was the best outcome for the situation.

Now, he just had to get by with her being gone during the day. She had recently started a one year internship at City Hall in the Parks Department. She really enjoyed it and constantly came back talking about projects that she was helping out with.

Ben was so happy for her. She seemed over the moon, and that was all Ben could ask for. He’d get by on being unemployed for a little while longer, just as long as he got to see her smile.

He hoped that it wouldn’t last for too long. He’d recently been contacted about an interview at an accounting firm, which he was going to tomorrow. It didn’t fill him with a lot of excitement, but it would be something to tie him over until he found his dream job.

At least he hoped.

Ben was in his kitchen, crimping the edges of an uncooked calzones carefully. Cooking and Claymation kept him sane while Leslie was away. He lost himself trying to make the perfect calzone and experimenting with different flavours. He knew he should’ve been getting ready for his interview tomorrow, like shaving his beard. Since quitting, he’d let his usually tidy stubble grow out and now had a full beard.

He was just about to put the calzone in the oven when he heard a knock at the door. He looked up and brushed his dough-covered hands on the sides of his plaid pyjama bottoms and walked out of the kitchen.

At the door was a woman wearing a navy skirt-suit and long, voluminous brown hair framed around her tight, stern face.

She frowned. “Are you Ben Wyatt?” she asked bluntly.

Ben blinked and nodded. “Yes, can I help you?”

“No. But clearly I can help you,” she said, taking in Ben’s appearance with a roll of her eyes. 

She barged past him, walking into his apartment and frowning at the messy kitchen. “My name’s Jen Barkley, I’m a political consultant from Washington. My partners heard about your little mayor stint years ago. I mean, you really must’ve lived in a tiny hick town for the news to only just be breaking out, but they are impressed. We want to offer you a job.”

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. “A job? What, working on election campaigns?”

Jen nodded, and Ben scoffed.

“I’m not qualified for that,” Ben replied. “I don’t know the first thing about running a campaign. No, I think you’ve got the wrong person.”

Jen placed a hand on the counter top and the other on her hip. “You won a mayoral election when you were eighteen. You had no funding and no experience. You must have done something right.”

She tapped her nose. “I can see something in you. Don’t keep us waiting for too long.”

With that, she handed over a business card and let herself out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leslie was getting sick of calzones.

She couldn’t tell Ben that, not yet anyway while he was out of work. They kept him busy, and if that meant eating three types of calzones in a week, then she’d take it.

But tonight something was off. Ben was poking the calzone around his plate in silence. Usually, he’d tell Leslie about how he came up with the filling and relay any kitchen-related dramas that happened.

“Are you okay?” Leslie asked, pulling an obvious piece of spinach out of the calzone and pushing it to the side of her plate. “You seem distracted.”

Ben looked up at her and put down his knife and fork with a sigh. “I was approached today about a job opportunity in Washington.”

Leslie blinked. “Washington? Wow. That’s… that’s amazing. But far.”

“I know,” Ben cut in. “It’s completely out of the question. They want me political consultant for campaigns. I’m not qualified for it, no way. I mean, sure, maybe years ago I might have considered it when I could actually go back to school to learn, but… I’m in way over my head.”

Leslie watched as Ben went back to pushing the calzone around his plate. “Besides, I have that accounting interview tomorrow. I’m sure that will go well. And that’s a more stable job which is always good.”

“Would it maybe be worth finding out more about this political job? You love all that stuff. It might end up being the perfect job for you,” Leslie pressed on.

“It wouldn’t work out,” Ben said as he looked back up. “I’d have to move there and away from Pawnee. Things would be different between us. It’s not possible.”

Leslie eyes narrowed as she watched Ben finally eat a piece of the calzone. But she shrugged and carried on picking out vegetables from her meal.

The evening carried on as usual. They watched a film, which turned into making out on the couch, soon moving into the bedroom for them to continue.

A few hours later, Ben was passed out next to her. His beard had been shaved in preparation for his interview, and the stubble tickled Leslie’s shoulder as he slept peacefully.

Leslie, however, stayed wide awake. She couldn’t sleep and her thoughts kept drifting to what Ben told her at dinner. There was something in his eyes when he spoke about it, something that she couldn’t forget so easily. There was a passion, an inkling of hope she never usually saw out of him.

She knew that when he ran for mayor, it was the happiest he’d been in a long time. But that happiness was short-lived after he got impeached. He never truly had his experience with working in politics; this could easily be his big break.

And the fact that some big D.C. hotshot sought him out and actually travelled here to ask him about a job convinced her that this was right for him, even if he didn’t think so.

If Ben got this accounting job tomorrow, then he’d go back to having a job that he didn’t really care for, but it paid the bills so he felt obliged to do it. However, if he went for this Washington job he’d be living the life he always wanted.

Even if that meant the small sacrifice of not being able to see him everyday.

Leslie wasn’t sure when she had started crying, but tears were pouring down her cheeks. She guessed it was at the thought of Ben living in Washington and not being by her side every day. But it would be for the best. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t keep him grounded here.

He gave up everything for her. It was maybe time to pay her dues. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben noticed the smell as soon as he stepped out of the elevator and onto his floor.

A wondrous smell of food being cooked wafted down the hall, and he was surprised to notice that it was coming from the other side of his door.

He unlocked the door and walked in, seeing Leslie in his kitchen, puttering about and stirring a big pot on the stove.

“What’s all this?” he asked as he approached her. He should have known. He did call her about an hour ago telling her that the accounting firm had offered him the job. This must have been a celebratory meal.

“Well, I thought I would make you something special,” Leslie said as she bit her lip. “You know, there’s a lot to celebrate.”

Ben grinned and kissed her softly. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to,” Leslie replied. “I really did.”

She was relieved when he turned away to get a bottle of wine out of the refrigerator. It gave her time to wipe the falling tears from her eyes.

Leslie told herself to last just through the meal, and then she would tell Ben to take the job and leave Pawnee. But as she watched him lay the table and pour them both glasses of wine, she was overcome with love for him. He was perfect and wonderful. She knew she wouldn’t be able to wait that long to tell him to go.

Ben set the bottle on the table and looked up at Leslie, immediately frowning when he saw her face. “Hey? What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to cry.”

“You have to go to Washington,” Leslie blurted out, and Ben’s mouth dropped open a little.

“What?”

“You have to take that job,” Leslie said again, wiping her eyes and silently pleading with them to stop leaking. “I can’t sit back and watch you take that accounting job that I know you don’t care about.”

She sniffed and composed herself. She took a slow step forward and clasped Ben’s hand with hers. “You never wanted to be a teacher. Sure, you studied it at college, but you didn’t want to. It was because Ice Town freaked you out so much that you didn’t want to go back into anything government related. You’ve had that job for years and never felt happy or excited by it. If you take this accounting job, then you’ll be coming home every day feeling the same. You _have_ to take this job. It’s an amazing opportunity and one that you’ll be great at. Ice Town is over. This is a new start.”

“But, what about us?” Ben asked, tears clouding in his own eyes.

Leslie looked down briefly and sighed. “I’m willing to be a casualty in this. If it means you going off to take your dream job.”

She wiped her eyes again. “You helped me graduate and get the grade that I hoped for. Not to mention resigning and taking the hit for all of that mess. The least I can do is return the favour and send you on your way.”

Her hand drifted up and cupped his cheek and Ben leaned into her touch. “You need to go fulfil your dreams,” she told him.

Ben exhaled and let the tears roll down his face. His hand snaked around her hips and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into her ear, and Leslie started crying even harder.

They stayed like that for over an hour, letting the dinner grow cold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few weeks for Ben to get packed up, but soon the dreaded day arrived where he would be leaving.

They had already agreed that their relationship wouldn’t survive the long distance. Not with both of their demanding jobs. It was for the best, but a decision neither of them wanted to make.

They had spent the last three weeks trying to enjoy the last of their days together. There was sex that neither of them would forget and picnics in Ramsett Park. On their last night together, Ben took Leslie out to the fanciest restaurant in Indianapolis, though the atmosphere was weird. They both knew that this was the end, and it felt wrong to celebrate it.

Leslie accompanied Ben to the airport and went with him all the way to the gate. The next step would be security, and she knew that she couldn’t go any further.

“Well, I guess this is it.” Ben sighed and turned to face Leslie, and she nodded.

Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve tried to plan what I wanted to say to you. But I’m coming up empty. I just can’t believe that it’s over.”

Leslie smiled sadly. “I know. But we agreed it was for the best… This is the best decision, right?”

Ben set his bag on the floor and pulled Leslie into a warm hug. “I don’t know,” he whispered into her ear. “I really don’t know. I don’t have to go.”

Leslie shook her head the best she could in Ben’s grasp. “You have to. You accepted the job. They’re waiting for you, Ben. I can’t let you stay here just for me. Not when you have the world waiting for you to explore.”

Ben pulled away with a sigh. “I didn’t think it was going to be this hard,” he admitted. “I wish this could be a cliché break-up, and I could tell you that it’s not you it’s me and that I’m not ready for commitment.”

Leslie chuckled and dabbed her eyes on her shirtsleeve as Ben continued, reeling off lame excuses like how she disgusted him and mimed vomiting on the floor.

He stopped when it got to be too much, and he found himself rubbing at his own eyes. “I don’t mean any of that. You know that, right?”

Leslie nodded, and Ben took a step closer, taking her hands in his.

“I love you so much, Leslie. This isn’t goodbye; you know that. You’re unstoppable and so unbelievably smart. I’ll see you in Washington before you know it,” he said as his hand moved up to her cheek, his thumb rubbing away her tears.

He grinned, “Heck, you could be president in the next few years. I’d vote for you.”

Leslie giggled at that statement; he remembered that she’d spoken about being president before. It made for a nice thought, her being elected to enter the White House and him running her campaign.

But, it was almost impossible. She was still too young to be president.

“I love you too,” Leslie whispered, but it came out as a squeak.

Ben tilted her chin and angled her towards him, their lips meeting for the last time. It didn’t matter that they were in a busy airport and people could be watching. They didn’t care. No one would understand the hurt that both of them were going through in having to say goodbye. 

Their lips parted, and Ben rested his forehead against Leslie’s. He breathed out slowly, and Leslie closed her eyes.

“I’ll never forget you, Leslie,” Ben murmured. “You changed my life for the better. I’m forever in your debt for making me a better person.”

They stayed there in silence, just basking in each other’s company until an announcement was made on the overhead speakers. Ben’s flight was boarding.

“You have to go,” Leslie said, placing a hand on his chest and gently pushing him away.

Ben looked pained as he moved, “I don’t want to go.”

Leslie swallowed and shook her head. “I don’t want you to go either, but it’s for the best.”

Ben leaned in and kissed her again, savouring her for a moment, as if he was trying to burn the feeling of her on his lips forever. Then, he pulled away and picked up his bags.

“Hey,” Leslie called as Ben turned away from her. “If you ever find yourself back in Pawnee, look me up?”

Ben grinned and nodded. “We’ll always have Pawnee,” he chuckled, and Leslie couldn’t help but giggle along with him. 

He gave a final wave and walked slowly towards the gate, his ticket in one hand and his luggage in the other.

Leslie watched as he disappeared through the gate and finally crumpled. She sobbed loudly and covered her face with her hands as the only man she had ever loved left.

She had to keep reminding herself that this was for the best. And in a few years she might find herself in Washington with a job. 

They’d keep in touch as much as they could, but she knew there would be a point where both of them would move on and forget about each other. She was sure Washington was full of hot Rebeccas.

She slowly walked out of the airport, her head hung low and her thoughts travelling back to their time together.

From him teaching her in class and not knowing her name, they had come so far. Not just their relationship, but also Ben’s mental state. Leslie noted that he’d thrown out his medication before he left. He didn’t need it anymore; his life was back on track and how he wanted it to be. 

She just wished that there was a place for her in it.

The sunlight warmed her skin as Leslie stepped outside, and she watched the planes take off in the distance. A soft smile spread across her face as the planes roared overhead.

She stretched her hand out and waved up to the sky, saying one final goodbye to Ben as his plane climbed high into the clouds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_6 months later._

Leslie’s hands twisted nervously in her lap as the man across from her took another look at her proposal.

“Well, Ms. Knope,” Grant Larson said at last, and Leslie looked up hopefully. “I thoroughly enjoyed reading your request to turn the spot for your Unity Concert into a National Park. However I’m afraid right now, it’s just not possible.”

Leslie’s heart sank. She almost jumped up and screamed at him. Who in their right mind would invite someone to a personal interview about a proposal that she had worked her butt off for just to tell her no? 

“However, that’s nothing to do with the quality of your work,” Grant said. “I understand you’re just an intern at the Parks Department in Pawnee, is that right?”

Leslie zoned back into the room and nodded. “Yes. But I like to challenge myself.”

Grant chuckled. “Oh, I see that. We have an intern position in the Department of Interior over here in Washington. I’d usually start the interview process in a few months, but I think you’d be the perfect candidate for us.”

Leslie blinked, her head filled with loud circus music. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“We want you to join the Department of Interior as an intern,” Grant repeated. “I’ll be honest, I did think you were a little under qualified, but I have a close friend who also looked over your proposal and told me that if I didn’t hire you for this job, then I would be an idiot and you would not let me down.”

Leslie took this in, her mouth dropping open. Someone in Washington read her proposal and wanted her. She wanted to find this person and kiss him to thank him.

Then it clicked.

“I’d… I’d be honoured to take this job,” Leslie exclaimed, practically bursting at the seams with glee.

Grant smiled at her. “Excellent. I’ll get the paperwork sent to you, and you’ll have to move up to Washington. I trust that won’t be a problem?”

Leslie quickly shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve always wanted to move to Washington, I mean nothing will ever beat Pawnee; it’s the greatest city in the world, but this is a close second.”

She tucked a curl behind her ear and leaned forward. “Can I ask who the person was who recommended me to you?”

Grant smiled coyly. “He said to send you over to the Hay-Adams after your interview. I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.”

He then escorted Leslie out of the room, giving her directions on how to get to the swanky hotel.

Leslie climbed into a taxi, her legs trembling as the vehicle sped along the road, and she frantically tried to fix her hair in the backseat. Soon, the car stopped outside the hotel, and she swallowed hard. She paid the driver and clambered out of the car.

People called her ‘madam’ as she walked past, and she was taken up in an elevator to the top floor where the bar was. 

She slowly stepped into the swish bar, taking nervous gulps of air as she scanned the room.

And she saw him.

Ben Wyatt was in front of her, leaning against a table, which had a bottle of champagne chilling and two glasses next to it.

Leslie gasped as she took in his appearance. Washington had clearly worked wonders on him. His hair was slicked back, and he was dressed in the smartest suit with a tie dimple that would make Donna jealous. 

He smirked as she walked towards him, and Leslie begged her legs to stop shaking.

She was standing right in front of him, and he tucked his hand under her chin, tilting it towards him, just like how he did before he left.

“Did you really think I would let you go that easily, Ms. Knope?” he asked with a smug grin.

Leslie let out a breathy laugh and leapt forward, her lips plunging against his and her arms wrapping around his neck. 

She soon decided, as she felt the heat of Ben’s body pressed against hers, which she’d craved for well over six months, that she was going to love Washington.


End file.
